


How Do You Love Someone

by Kauri510



Series: Ryder and Jenna [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: African Dream Root, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Betrayal, Demonic Possession, Drunk Sex, F/M, Fan Characters, Fist Fights, Hell, Hellhounds, Marriage, Minor Violence, Parent Sam, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Purgatory, Romance, Sam Winchester's Demonic Powers, Season/Series 04, Sign Language, Siren, Swearing, Trials, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 06:00:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 80,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6143782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kauri510/pseuds/Kauri510
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Re-edited! Ryder and Jenna find a child in their home, and are taken to the world of Supernatural. Realizing they are in season 4, they are hell bent on helping Sam and Dean in any way they can. That involves stopping the seals. The girls find themselves falling in love with the brothers, and their feelings might be returned. As the season progresses, Ryder realizes a disturbing truth about the baby girl that she has come to love and see as her own. There is no way she can let the others know in order to protect her.<br/>With Ryder and Jenna's advanced knowledge, they find a more effective way to help the brothers. Unfortunately, this comes at a price. Will they pay it in order to save the man they love?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers: I do not own Supernatural or anything else you recognize. I only own Ryder and Jenna.
> 
> I reread this story and I noticed that it needed some serious revising. So I fixed as much of the grammar and everything else as best as I could. I also added some things here and there and changed certain things. I hope you enjoy the new version. If there are any other mistakes or tags please let me know.

Ryder sat on the floor with Jenna in her room both listening to their own music. They didn't need to speak to each other to keep themselves entertained. They were the type to just need to be in each other's presence to be okay. It had been three years since they became friends, and they couldn't picture themselves without the other. They saved each other in more ways than one.

Jenna had her headphones on looking at the glow in the dark stars on her bedroom ceiling. Her mother had walked out on her and her dad when she was younger, which caused him to drink himself into oblivion every night. She hated living there alone with her father, because he just didn't like her. She never did understand why her father didn't love her, and when she asked him it didn't end well for her. She offered to leave if that's what he wanted and all he did was yell at her. She had no other place to go, and she was barely getting by with college. She didn't like it, but at least she had a roof over her head and food to eat.

Ryder listened to her earphones, and swaying to the music looking at nothing in particular. She turn to look at Jenna and couldn't help but smile sadly. She wouldn't be where she was if she didn't meet her at the Salute to Supernatural. She was in a dark place at the time living with her abusive ex. She hated herself for staying with him, but sadly she had nowhere else to go and no one else would help her, not even her parents. So when she met Jenna and learned about her home life, she had offered to stay the nights with her to keep her company.

Ryder checked her watch and saw that it was almost nine pm. She threw a pillow at Jenna who glared at her, and tapped her watch. "It's almost time." Jenna sat up and turned on the TV. "Is your dad coming home tonight?" Jenna shakes her head no.

Ryder sighed in relief. Once she learned about how Jenna's father had beaten her whole life after her mother left, she never wanted to be in the same room as him. Not because she was scared of him, but because she was scared _for_ him.

After being mugged five years ago, she was taught to defend herself. Learning from two older brothers who were considered masters in various forms of fighting, she was very skilled, almost to the point to be considered dangerous with hand to hand combat so the last thing she needed was to get arrested for murder.

Jenna set the channel while Ryder went to get the popcorn and soda. When coming in, both girls sat on the thin cot (Jenna's bed), and turned their attention to their favorite show Supernatural, and tonight was the premiere of season ten. They never spoke or commented during an episode for they had two rules when watching Supernatural. Rule one: save the talking for the commercials. Rule two: never leave the room, because you do not want to miss anything when the commercials end.

When the episode ended, they sat in silence thinking over the episode. It wasn't until Jenna decided to break the silence did their conversation start.

 _ **"I'm glad that Dean is finally the center of attention, but I don't like the fact that he just left Sam. It's not Supernatural with them not being together."**_ Jenna signed. 

Ryder nodded her head. "Yeah. It reminds me of the time Sam lost his soul when he came back from Hell. He was cold and heartless, and he didn't care about Dean."

 _ **"Yeah, I thought about that too.''**_ Jenna sighed. It was obvious from season one that Jenna had a thing for Dean, just as Ryder was in love with Sam.

To be in love with Dean and to see him the way he is tugged at her heart. She was happy that Dean was alive, but she never wanted to see him act so cold and unfeeling especially when it came to Sam.

"I-" Ryder broke off when she heard crying from inside the house. They wouldn't have worried about it, if it wasn't for the fact that they were supposed to be there by themselves.

They both shared a look at the sound of the crying. It was the sound of a... baby? Ryder took up the front, because she knew how to fight and she would be able to defend both her and Jenna.

They walked out of her room and followed the crying to the living room. They didn't see anyone, so when they went around to face the sofa they saw a baby. By what the baby was wearing, they could see it was a girl. Ryder went to the little girl, still looking around in case there was anyone else in the house, and saw that there was a note attached to her dress. It read:

**Rain Ryder,**

**Protect this child with your life. Her name is Lilith. She is your responsibility now.**

Ryder stared at the note in confusion, then back at the little girl who had stopped crying. Who would give her a child? Lilith? She never did like the name ever since season three. She looked at Jenna who just shrugged her shoulders.

Ryder noticed that Lilith only came with one bag, which she checked had a few dresses (much to Ryder's dislike), diapers, a bottle, formula, and a baby carrier.

The front door burst open and both Ryder and Jenna gasped. Jenna's father wasn't supposed to be home that night. Henry Barnes was obviously drunk when he staggered in with a half drunken whiskey bottle.

"Hey bitch, I see you have your slut friend here with you."

Ryder seriously wanted to punch the guy in the face, and if it wasn't for her lack of wanting to go to prison she would have.

Jenna just stood there with her head bowed almost on the brink of crying. Ryder looked as Henry walked up to his daughter and unexpectedly slapped her knocking her to the ground. He bent down to slap her again, but Ryder pushed him and he tripped over his own feet to the ground as well.

Ryder turned her attention to her best friend crying silently on the floor. She picked her up and hissed when she saw that her lip was bleeding. "Come on, we can't stay here."

She sighed in relief when Jenna agreed. This wasn't the first time Ryder asked her to leave with her, so this was good for them both. She didn't know how they were going to do live, but they would be okay. 

"I'm going to get Lilith and we'll go. Can you grab the bag?" Jenna went for the bag, while Ryder went for the carrier and the baby. As they turned to go for the front door, they come face to face with an angry Henry holding a gun.

"You ain't going nowhere bitch!"

"Henry, you need to let us go," Ryder tried to stay calm, but she was losing her patience with the drunk.

"Jenna get over here." She shook her head. "Now!" he barks. At the sound of his voice, Lilith starts to cry. Henry, in his drunken rage, turned his attention to the baby in Ryder's arms and pointed the gun ready to fire.

Jenna saw what he was about to do and grabbed hold of the back of Ryder's tank top in fear. This was supposed to be a fun night, but now they were going to die. 

Regardless if the baby wasn't hers, Ryder couldn't help but turn her body to protect Lilith. Just as Henry pulled the trigger, a white light shot throughout the room, leaving an unconscious Henry alone and no trace of anyone else ever being there.


	2. Chapter 2

Jenna opened her eyes and saw herself, Ryder and the baby in the middle of the woods. How the hell did they get there? Where was her dad? Even though she was happy that she was finally away from her father and the fact that they were still alive, she was still on alert at the change of setting. She couldn't fight the feeling of familiarity of the scene before her; trees were no longer standing up, it was as if a bomb went off. She saw from the expression from her best friend that Ryder was thinking the same thing.

 _ **"Why does this look familiar?''**_ Jenna signed looking a little worried.

Ryder shook her head, and was about to speak when her jaw dropped looking at something behind Jenna. Jenna looked to what caught her friend's attention, and couldn't fight the gasp. What they saw shocked yet excited them: a wooden cross sticking out of the ground. It was the marker of someone's grave.

They both could recognize that marker anywhere and knew who it belonged to, but they tried to think rationally about what they were seeing. Jenna would not let her dreams of meeting the man she always longed for cloud her logic when a part of her brain was telling her that what she was seeing in front of her was very real.

 _ **''Isn't that-''**_ Jenna was cut off when a hand shot out of the ground. She would have screamed if she could. Jenna, over the sudden shock, grabbed hold of the hand and started to pull. She already knew whose hand it belonged to, and there was no way she was just going to stand there and watch him struggle to get out on his own.

Ryder couldn't do much with the baby in her arms, and there was no way she was going to set her on the ground. She knew Jenna had everything under control, and if this was all real then she knew there wouldn't any danger coming to them anytime soon. Then again last time she checked, her and Jenna weren't in the episode to begin with. All she could do was watch her friend help someone they knew couldn't possibly exist, yet was crawling out of the ground before their eyes.

Both Jenna and Ryder watched as the man breathed in fresh air. Jenna tried her hardest not to smile, for one because she didn't want to be seen as a creep. And second because if this was who they thought he was this man just got out of Hell and it didn't seem like it was the best time to fangirl over the man of her dreams.

As the man rose to his feet and looked around, he finally turned his attention to the woman standing before him. "Who are you?" he asked bluntly.

Jenna just stared wide eyed at the man, who she had been in love with for the passed ten years, standing before her. She did the only thing she could think of: she closed the gap between them and kissed him. It didn't register to her what she doing until he started kissing her back. She never thought she would ever be able to do this, not because where they came from Dean wasn't a real person, but because she never thought she was up his alley. When she watched Dean on TV, she always felt that he was too good for her. And here she was, kissing him and he was kissing her back!

Ryder just stood there watching her friend making out with the love of her life. She felt like she should be looking away to give them a little privacy, but this was the first time in three years that she had seen her friend genuinely happy, and she wanted to see that. She was thrilled that Dean didn't pull away, because if he did not only would Jenna fall apart from rejection but also depression. It's hard to fall in love with someone and wish you could be with that person more than anything else in the world, and then get rejected by that very same person.

When they broke apart, Ryder loved the goofy look Dean had (it was times like this she wished she had a camera), and smiled when Jenna blushed. Looking around once more, when a realization hit her. If Dean just got out of Hell then that meant this was season four. And if this was season four and they were in the beginning of season ten then-

''If that's the welcome I get every time I climb out of a hole, I'll start doing that more often,'' Dean smirked. Jenna blushed even more. "What's your name?''

Jenna lowered her head embarrassed. She hated moments like this, and she wished she could answer him to where he would understand her.

Ryder saw her reaction at the question, and decided right then would be the best time to join in. "This is Jenna, I'm Ryder, and this,'' Ryder motions to the sleeping Lilith, "is Lily."

''I'm Dean,'' he said still looking at Jenna. "We should probably look for a rest stop somewhere." He started to walk away when both girls agreed.

Jenna picked up the baby bag, while Ryder put the carrier in the front and gently put Lilith in. She was surprised that the baby hadn't made too much of a fuss since they arrived. She made a note to feed her when they got to the gas station they would inevitably come to.


	3. Chapter 3

Coming to a gas station, Jenna couldn't help but be a little nervous of what was to come. She wasn't looking forward to hearing Castiel try and talk to Dean. When she first watched the episode two years ago, she could see how much it hurt Dean. Because of her love for him, she put aside her fear and kept following him.

Watching Dean take up the lead, Jenna turned back to Ryder. _**"Maybe you should get the car started, so we can get to Bobby's. You know Castiel will be coming to 'talk,' and it might hurt the baby's ears."**_ Jenna signed pointing to the baby currently sleeping.

Ryder nodded. She remembered only special people would be able to hear or see an angel's true form and she doubted she was one of those people. She didn't care whether or not it was just Castiel, she wasn't going to risk Lilith's well being. She may be a terrible person to most people, like when she beat up a group of girls when they were just simply talking shit to her, or when a guy was harassing a girl on her way home, or when a guy touched her ass. Okay, maybe those times she had a reason, but she couldn't deny there were times where she had to do things she wasn't fond of. So she may be cruel to most people, but she wasn't like that to kids or in this case babies whether or not Lilith was hers or not.

Watching Dean break into the closed gas station, she decided to speak up their decision. "Dean? I'm going to see if I could get that car over there started." She didn't wait for an answer, and turned to walk to the car.

Dean didn't ask how she was going to do it, after all it wasn't on the top of his to do list. He walked in and immediately went to get a bottle of water and drank half without stopping. He didn't worry so much at the fact that his companions could be demons or monsters, he just needed to get to Bobby and Sam's.

Sam. He frowned when his thoughts traveled to his brother. It's been forty years since he had last seen his brother, and he really missed him and couldn't wait to see him. He wondered what his brother was doing at the moment. Was he hunting? Was he with Bobby? Was he living 'normal' whatever that was? Whatever it was, he just hoped that his brother was alive.

Dean walked over to a sink and washed his face, and when he looked up into the mirror, he couldn't help but stare at his torso. He lifted up his shirt and remembered the Hellhounds tearing him apart when they dragged him to Hell. He remembered his chest was torn to shreds, but looking in the mirror, his chest was the way it was before he died. Putting his shirt down, he felt something on his shoulder. He hesitantly pulled up his sleeve and hissed at the hand print that covered his shoulder. What the hell?! When the hell did that happen?

Jenna filled a bag with snacks for Dean to eat, then put a few bottles of water for him. She saw him staring at himself and when she saw him lift his shirt that bared his entire torso, she couldn't look away. At that very moment, all she wanted to do was touch and caress his skin. She shook her head and went back to getting Dean something to eat since he hadn't eaten in forty years (or four months depending on whose point of view).

Dean saw a newspaper, and when he checked the date his heart skipped a beat. It was only September? It felt so much longer than that. How could it only be four months since he went to Hell? He didn't look any different than he did before his death. His head was beginning to hurt trying to figure out what happened. He threw the newspaper back with the others.

Dean couldn't help but smile at Jenna as she put different types of snacks in a bag. He didn't know why, but he liked her. It was crazy, because not only did he just meet her but he should be thinking about getting to Bobby and Sam. Dean never was one for long term relationships or any relationship for that matter, but he couldn't deny that he wanted someone to call his own. A woman to love him and be loved by him. Even though he was always with some woman or another when he and Sam went to bars, he really wanted someone just for him. For some unknown reason when he looked at Jenna he saw that for himself, but he couldn't help but feel that he couldn't ever have nor did he deserve it, especially after what he did. Wanting to divert his thoughts to something else, he spoke up.

"So... um... what were you guys doing out there?" He almost regretted ever opening his mouth when he saw the look of embarrassment on her face. She didn't answer him, just shrugged her shoulders. "What's wrong? Can't you talk?"

Jenna was embarrassed and a little angry. Embarrassed that she couldn't respond to him, even though she wanted nothing more than to talk to the man that captured her heart all those years ago. Angry that a once in a little time chance to speak to her love and she couldn't respond! She shook her head slowly and looked away. 

"Oh.. well that's okay." But it wasn't, and Dean knew that. He felt a little disappointed that a girl he felt he could like couldn't speak.

He went to the register, and opened it to get the money and quarters. It wasn't much, but at least it was something. As he was getting the money out the TV turned on. Jenna began to look around for salt and started to salt the windows and door. She knew it wouldn't do anything, but she didn't want Dean to waste his time for nothing.

Dean was a little suspicious that Jenna was doing the very thing he was going to do himself. His attention brought him to a radio that turned on its own. Dean was just about to help Jenna salt all the exits, when all of the sudden they heard a pitched noise.

What the hell was going on? He tried to look out the window and see if he could see the other girl, but he couldn't. Regardless if he only met them, he didn't want them to get hurt. They looked like they could break, and the last thing he needed was for their deaths to be hanging over his head. He moved toward Jenna as much as he could, but when the noise became too unbearable they were both on the ground covering their ears from the painful sound.

When the noise subsided, Jenna got to her feet and thought one thing and one thing only, _Castiel lower the volume next time!_


	4. Chapter 4

As they both walked out, neither knew what to say so no one did. Dean didn't know what the hell that was, and it wasn't something he wanted to worry about at the moment. Dean went straight to the payphone he had seen before he went inside.

Jenna knew he was going to call Bobby, so she went to stand by Ryder who was smiling at her new baby. Jenna liked seeing that look. It was hardly ever something that she got to see, so when she did she cherished the moment. She knew Ryder had a hard life on the streets, but she never let that taint their friendship. For a long time she was worried that Ryder would never get out of that life. She reminded Jenna of Dean in a way: always putting on a mask in front of others to protect herself, and to make sure those weaker would be protected. Always putting herself in danger to protect those who couldn't do it themselves. Although, Ryder never thought Jenna as weak, she still protected her when she could and Jenna loved it. She believed that Ryder knew she would do the same for her.

 _ **"Should we tell Dean who we really are and where we came from? He's bound to know, and you know how he is. Maybe him knowing the truth could be helpful. I mean we are six years ahead of them."**_ Jenna didn't want to risk being left behind. She really wanted to be with Dean, especially since she knew what he was going through, and what was going to happen.

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. We should do it before going to Bobby's."

Dean approached the girls after getting off the phone with Bobby. He didn't know why he wanted them to come, but he didn't want to risk their innocence. He couldn't bring someone into the hunter's life when they had another choice. He really liked Jenna, but he felt it would be better to not have attachments... no matter how badly he wanted it.

"Okay, I have to go see a friend of mine. So, is there anywhere I can drop you off?"

Jenna nodded to Ryder. She wanted to say it herself, but due to Dean's lack of knowledge of sign language she let Ryder take the lead.

"Yeah, we're going with you." She said in a forceful tone.

Dean shook his head, "No. I can't have you guys tagging along. What I do is very dangerous."

Ryder scoffed. Dangerous? Please, if anything this was too easy. "We can help."

Dean narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "How can you help?" He looked the girls up and down, and he couldn't understand how they could help. They were just two young fragile looking girls and a baby.

"We don't know how it happened, but we come from an alternate universe where you and your brother Sam's lives are a TV show." Ryder wasn't known to beat around the bush. If she needed to say something, she'd say it. Jenna didn't like that about her, because it tended to get her into trouble.

"Seriously? You expect me to believe that?" Dean didn't know what else to say. A TV show?! Who would watch their lives? If what she was saying was true, then the show must really suck.

"Yes. For one, how would I know you're brother's name?" Dean didn't answer.

"The show is called Supernatural and it started in 2005 with you going to pick up Sam from Stanford needing help looking for John. You come across a hunt of a Woman in White. Then when Sam goes back to Stanford, Jessica dies the same way your mother did." Dean's expression turned angry. Ryder notices but continues, "The rest of the season is you guys looking for your father. Season two starts off with your father dying, and the rest you guys are looking for the YED. You then make a deal to save Sam, thank you for that by the way. Season three is where Sam tries to break your contract, obviously in the end, you still went... my condolences."

Dean didn't know what to make of the girls who stood before him. What the hell was going on? He goes to Hell for forty years and the world has gone nuts! He rubbed his forehead in frustration. He didn't have time for this; he really needed to get to Bobby's and find Sam. Hopefully Sam was with him. 

Before Dean could respond to that, Ryder spoke up, "And we can be helpful because according to the timelines, right now we're in the beginning of season four where you come back from Hell. Where we come from we're at the start of season ten." At the look of confusion on Dean's face, she sighed and began to explain. "Every season is in the time frame of one year. So if this is season four and we're in the beginning of season ten, then-"

Dean realized where she was going, "Then you know what'll happen."

Ryder nodded, "Yes, so let's go to Bobby's. You should have been on your way already." They all pile into the car and drove off.

* * *

Arriving at Bobby's house was exciting and entertaining. The confrontation was exactly like it was in the episode. After proving they weren't demons or any other creature, they sat in the library discussing on theories about what brought Dean out of Hell. Ryder was going to tell them, but Dean and Bobby wanted to do things on their own. They all agreed that Ryder only tell them when it's deem necessary, and she was more than willing to oblige.

When Dean and Bobby found the location of Sam, and much arguments from Ryder (concerning the baby and their safety which she snickered at), they all drove in a car and set out to find Sam Winchester.

Coming to the motel room, Ryder had forgotten that a certain black eyed bitch was in there with the love of her life. She held the baby in her arms (she left the carrier at Bobby's) so she wouldn't attack.

Jenna could see the restraint Ryder was trying to maintain, since they knew what would happen if Sam were to continue seeing her. And if she knew Ryder as well as she thought she did, she knew she would do anything she could to prevent both Ruby manipulating Sam, and the damage it would cause his and Dean's relationship.

While Bobby was trying to restrain Sam from killing Dean, Ryder couldn't stop glaring at Ruby. At the moment, Ryder didn't care if Sam got upset, because he'd eventually get over it. Ryder wasn't going to just stand around waiting for the events she and Jenna saw happen when they knew what it'll bring. As Ruby was leaving, Ryder couldn't let her go without her knowing that someone knew what she's up to.

Bobby, Dean and Sam talked about him making a deal to bring Dean back, and Ryder held Lily trying to control her anger. Jenna could tell by the look on her best friend's face and could see that it was literally causing her pain by just sitting there doing nothing. Where they came from, Sam may have been a fictional character, but to Ryder he was real. He basically saved her from going down the wrong path. It may seem strange to some people, but the way she was, Supernatural did more than entertain her. So to see Ruby act like no one knew what she was really up to hurt Ryder more than she'll ever admit.

Jenna sighed. As much as she hated what Ryder was going to do, she knew this had to be done. She looked at Ryder and gave her the look that said, _"Do what you have to do, but be careful."_ Ryder nodded her thanks and gave her Lily.

Dean, Sam, Bobby and Jenna saw Ryder walk out of the room without so much as a goodbye.

"Is everything okay Jen?" asked Dean. Her heart skipped a beat at the name for her.

Jenna simply nodded her head. It wasn't a complete lie. Everything _will_ be okay, she just didn't know when. Jenna knew exactly what was going to happen when Ryder caught up with Ruby, she just hoped there wasn't too much damage... to Ruby, otherwise it'll be suspicious.

* * *

 

Ryder walked down the hall, and at first she thought Ruby already left, but in the end she caught up with her. _What was the name that she used? Kathy? Kristen! Christie!_

"Christie?" She didn't want to give herself away too soon.

Ruby turned around and when she saw that it was the girl that came to see Sam, she played nice. "Yes?"

 _Oh, that's how it's going to be. Well, I can play too._ "I was just wondering how you knew Sam? I went to college with him and I had a little crush on him, so I was wondering if you two were..." she trailed off.

Ruby tensed hearing that. She didn't need some college whore distracting Sam. "Oh, well we met at a bar, and we kind of hit it off. We're together though, sorry."

Ryder could easily see through that lie, and smiled sadly. "Oh, what a shame." Ryder really wanted to punch her, and it took all her willpower to remain calm.

Ruby tried to shrug innocently and if it wasn't for the fact that Ryder knew her, she would've believed it. "Well, I have to go, but it was nice meeting you." She turned to leave, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

 _Playtime's over._ "I don't think so, Ruby." Ryder spoke in a cold voice.

Ruby tensed. She turned around and looked at the girl in confusion. How did she know who she was? "Who are you?" she said in an equally cold voice, but it had little to no effect.

Ryder smirked, "Your worst fucking nightmare!" And with that Ryder punched her hard in the face knocking her to the ground.

Ruby caught off guard just stared back at the girl. She looked at her up and down, and didn't take her for a fighter. The girl had no muscle, so therefore wouldn't last long... especially against a demon. That punch was a lucky shot. She stood up and dropped her jacket on the ground taking her stance.

"What the hell is your problem?" She didn't wait for an answer, and threw her own punch which hit its target. She smirked. Not so tough.

When in a fight, Ryder was a whole new person. Jenna was the only known person to draw her out of her element once she was in, and since she wasn't there Ryder could be herself. She tended to have her opponent think they could get the upper hand, it made it all the more fun.(AN: I am not very good at writing fight scenes, so I'll let you imagine how this fight would go. Basically the fight is Ryder beating Ruby's ass to prove she isn't messing around, and she isn't afraid that Ruby is a demon).

Ruby laid on the ground in more pain than she'll ever admit to anyone. "I know what you're doing to Sam, and if you don't back off I will not hesitate to kill you. In fact, I'm looking forward to it."

Ruby scoffed, "What? You think you can kill me? Sam would never give you the knife to kill me." Who did this whore think she was? There was no other weapon on earth that can kill a demon unless it was her knife, and she knew that Sam would never give it to her. Sam was hooked, and that was the way Ruby wanted it to stay. She slowly got to her feet and leaned against the wall in pain.

Ryder smiled wickedly, "Do you honestly believe that your pathetic excuse for a knife is the only weapon that can kill demons, bitch?" _I'm from season ten, I know my shit!_

Ruby looked at her wide eyed. What the hell was she talking about?

"I'll give you this one warning, stay away from Sam." She stood up closer almost nose to nose, and all Ruby could see was murder in her eyes, "If you come anywhere near him Dean or Bobby, the least of your problems is what brought Dean back, because you'll have me to deal with!"

With one last shove to the ground and a heavy kick to the face, Ryder walked off like nothing ever happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't thinking about the Colt at the time when Ruby said that her knife was the only weapon that could kill demons. So for the story disregard the gun.


	5. Chapter 5

Back in the motel room, Jenna bounced Lily on her knee. She was very worried, not about Ryder's well being, but if she killed Ruby before telling Sam the truth, it'll be pointless.

Minutes later, all four adults looked to the door opening revealing Ryder. Jenna could see she had a busted lip and her holding her side. If she were anyone else, she wouldn't have noticed her doing it. _Oh good, Ruby didn't hurt her that bad._ She sighed in relief. She knew Ryder was an excellent fighter, but she was a little worried about her going up against a demon.

"What happened to you?" asked Dean seeing her lip.

Ryder waved him off, "Nothing, just got into a little scuffle." She turned to look at Sam drinking his beer. She instantly felt butterflies, and couldn't fight the smile on her face. She tried not to make it too obvious, but she tried to fix her hair, and clothes. Have to make a good first impression. Dean noticed and smirked.

"Hello, Sam." She tried to keep her cool, but was failing miserably. She may be tough on the outside, but nevertheless she was still a woman standing in front of a man she loved.

Sam looked up to the face the voice belonged to, and he sat there staring. She was beautiful. He examined her, and liked what he saw. She was thin yet toned. Her black wavy hair reached her lower back with a red bandana, wore a white wife beater, black skinny jeans and combat boots. He could see she had a tattoo on her wrist covered by bracelets. She had sparkling green eyes, that somewhat reminded him of Dean. "You know me?"

Ryder smirked. _Oh baby, you have no idea._ She looked at Dean and Bobby for their opinion on if she should tell him. When they nodded, she began the story leaving out the results passed the first episode of season four.

Sam was beyond confused, and a little weirded out at the fact that people all over the world knew about their lives. A small part of him was a little flattered that people actually watch the show. He also agreed that Ryder only tell them when she really needed to. He understood that if they knew too much, it could change things and it might not be for the better.

"I know a psychic. She's a few hours out, so maybe she's heard something on the other side," Bobby said getting to his feet.

"Yeah, let's go see her." Dean agreed taking a swig from his beer.

He looked at Jenna playing with Ryder's baby, and smiled. She was a very beautiful woman. If he wasn't so messed up with what happened to him in Hell, he would totally want to get to know her. He wasn't usually one to go for relationships, but with her it seemed he could make an exception.

* * *

Jenna was playing with the baby, when Lily began to cry. Jenna was worried, but then relaxed when she smelled that she needed a change so she gave her to Ryder. At her look of confusion, she motioned to her diaper. Ryder nodded and went to the bathroom to change her.

When she left the room, something registered to her concerning what Bobby said. _'I know a psychic."_ Pamela!

As Ryder was changing Lilith's diaper, she couldn't help but be a little worried. If they knew the outcome to the situations the boys would be in, should they change those outcomes? Would it damage their future? If it was up to her, she wouldn't hesitate to stop it. If they tried to change the results, would the apocalypse still happen? Maybe if it doesn't happen, then Lucifer won't break free and Sam won't go to Hell! She really didn't want him to go, because she didn't like Soulless Sam. He was kind of a dick.

Ryder went back out to the rest of the group and saw that everyone was already packed, save her and Jenna. Now that she thought about it, they really needed clothes and the works. Lilith would need more things, but she would be fine for the time being. As they were leaving, she could see that Dean was wearing the Samulet. She smiled. It was back where it belonged.

As they left the motel, Ryder and Jenna gawked at the Metallicar sitting in the parking lot. She was more beautiful in person. They went so far as to start caressing the car.

Dean smirked. He knew there was a reason he liked the girls. "We don't have a car seat for the kid." Dean informed the girls. He didn't mind so much for the baby to ride in his car, he just couldn't help worry for her safety.

Ryder frowned at the realization. Damn! Well, they'll just have to make do. "It's okay. She'll be fine." She hoped.

* * *

Arriving at Pamela's house, Jenna couldn't help but be nervous. She knew what was going to happen to her, and she didn't want it to. Maybe they could stop her from doing the seance all together? She shook her head. The people in this universe were too damn stubborn to listen.

"Dean Winchester," Pamela said smiling at Dean (which Jenna didn't like), "out of the fire and back in the frying pan. Makes you a rare individual."

"If you say so." Dean really didn't want to think too much of his trip downstairs. It was bad enough he remembered everything that was both done to him and by him. The last thing he needed was for someone else to remind him, but he doubted that would happen anytime soon.

They all walked in and while Pamela was setting everything up, Sam watched Ryder mumble to a quiet Lily. He found it quite odd that the baby hardly made any noise. He would've guessed that a baby her age would be too loud and irritating, but she was too quiet. He turned his attention to Ryder. In the short time that he knew her, he really liked her. He blushed a little when Ryder caught him staring, and when she smiled back his heart skipped a beat.

"What are you staring at?'' she asked flirtatiously. Ryder really wanted to get to know him. Not just the Sam that she had known for the past ten years, but the real Sam Winchester. This was her chance, and she was all the more thrilled to take it.

Before he could think about it, "You." It was Ryder's turn to blush, and Sam loved it. He felt daring at the moment, and he didn't know where it came from, nor was he going to worry about it. He stepped closer to her. "So when you were watching the show, who'd you like better?"

Ryder could tell what Sam was doing, and she loved every moment of it. The show sure didn't make it seem that Sam could be bold. "Hmm, I don't know. I mean Dean is a very good looking man, and he has a nice body but, "she stepped closer to him, "I'm all for Sam." Just as their lips were about to touch, someone decided to clear their throat and ruin the moment. And who else would do that, but Dean Winchester.

Both Sam and Ryder glared at Dean and he smiled innocently, "We're ready to start."

* * *

Ryder was the only one that sat out of the seance, because she had to hold onto Lilith. She wasn't the seance type, so she didn't complain. She was worried for Pamela, but when they suggested not to do it to her, she dismissed them. Ryder growled, _Damn ass stubborn people!_

As the seance progressed, Pamela finally made contact with Castiel. She was warned to back off, but Pamela ignored it.

"Pamela, I really think you should listen to him." Ryder warned. She held onto Lilith a little tighter, but not enough to hurt her. Lilith began to cry at the loud noises, which made Ryder all the more protective even though she knew nothing would happen.

Jenna's heart picked up speed the closer they got to the climax. She really didn't want it to happen, and when she looked at Ryder trying to comfort Lilith she knew she was on her own. She had to think of something quick. She looked at everyone's joined hands and figured the seance only worked when everyone joined hands to keep the connection going. So acting in desperation, she broke her hands off from the Dean's and Pamela's hands, everything settled. Good. Pamela wasn't blind, but was pissed at her. Right now she didn't care.

"What the hell was that? Why did you break off the connection? I almost had him!" Pamela yelled at Jenna.

Jenna wasn't for being yelled at, but do to her disability all she could do was take it. Ryder on the other hand wasn't the type, especially when it came to her friend. Ryder knew that Jenna could handle her own, but when she's being yelled at all Jenna could see was her father.

Ryder was just about to help her, but was beaten by Dean. She was normally the one to save her, but she was willing to let Dean do it. Jenna needed that, and Ryder was going to give it to her.

"Pamela, don't yell at her. She did what she had to, because you weren't listening when this Castiel person told you to turn back. For all we know something bad could've happened if she didn't." He grabbed Jenna's hand, and pulled her outside to his baby.

Ryder smiled. She would've done more, but nevertheless she was satisfied. Jenna on the other hand was going to burst with happiness. She loved that Dean stuck up for her, and was thinking getting yelled was almost worth it. She was glad Ryder didn't step in, even though she really wanted to.

* * *

Bobby said his goodbyes, and went to his car. After telling them to head to his house, he drove off. He felt very uncomfortable in the house during the confrontation. He was a little disappointed at the way Pamela dealt with the situation, but was a still proud that Dean stuck up for the girl. He may be old, but he ain't stupid. He could see the way they looked at each other. Same with Sam and Ryder. He didn't know what it was, but he had this very strange feeling that something was up with Sam. Being a hunter for a long time he knew it wasn't good. He could tell the girls would do the boys some good. All he had to do was wait for them to get together, and the way things were going it won't be long.

On the drive back to Bobby's, Dean and Jenna sat up front listening to his music. Jenna enjoyed it, because regardless if by society's standard Dean didn't have the greatest voice in the world, she loved it all the same. In her opinion, he had the most beautiful voice.

"So," Sam said breaking the silence between the two, "is she yours?" He wanted to hit himself. _Stupid question, of course she's hers._

Ryder smiled, "She is now." Ryder may not have been too thrilled that someone gave her a child at first, but now she was happy. She never thought she would be in the position she was in, but now that she was she couldn't picture herself without Lilith. It didn't matter if it was only two days since she got here, Ryder wasn't ever going to give her up.

Sam tilt his head in confusion, "What do you mean?"

Ryder took in a deep breath and told him about the events leading up to their arrival. "And that's when we came to Dean's gravesite."

"Wait, so someone you don't know leaves a baby for you to take care of, and then something else brings you to a world you thought was fictional?" Sam asked wanting to clarify what he was just told.

Ryder turned her attention back to Lilith. When he said it like that, it did sound strange. Oh well. She shrugged her shoulders.

"Yup, that's about it." She knew something was strange about the whole situation, but she got over it. Lilith was hers, and no one was going to take her away from her. Not even the child's parents, or whoever brought her Lilith.

"So your Team Sam, huh?" Sam said wanting to change the topic. He really liked her, and wanted to do something about it.

Ryder couldn't fight the smile, "Go Team."

Sam turned his body to face hers, and he reached out to touch her cheek turning it to face him. She looked into his eyes, and Sam could see her eyes glisten with happiness... all because of him. He liked that she looked at him like that. Ignoring the fact that his brother and her friend were in the front seat or the fact that Ryder was holding a baby, he leaned in. He didn't notice Dean had stopped singing and looking at them through the rear view mirror.

Ryder noticed what he was doing, and changed Lilith's position so she could lean into kiss Sam without hurting her. They were mere inches from each other when Lilith began to cry. Both Ryder and Sam groaned. So close.

Ryder smiled, "Baby, I thought you were on mommy's side." The only response she got were giggles from the once crying child in her arms. "Sneaky Lily."

Well Lilith may have ruined the moment for them, but they were determined to get it back and they were looking forward to it.


	6. Chapter 6

Back at Bobby's, Sam and Dean were reading the books Bobby had. Dean was getting hungry and asked Sam if he could go get something to eat (including the pie!). Ryder was too busy playing with Lilith to have heard Dean's request for food, and Jenna wasn't about to say anything. She wasn't in the mood for Ryder to get angry.

Jenna hated the fact that she couldn't talk to Dean. She was very frustrated with this whole thing. Why is it every time something remotely good happens, something bad has to come with it? This was her dream to finally talk with the man she fell in love with all those years ago. Now that she was here, he couldn't understand her. She wanted to go up to Dean and talk, but do to her incapability and his lack of sign language she couldn't. She thought about writing down what she wanted to say, but that would take way too long.

She admitted defeat and went to keep Ryder company. Ryder could see that something was bothering Jenna, and even though she hid her feelings very well, Ryder could see right through it. She wasn't her best friend for nothing. She didn't want Bobby to hear their conversation, so she whispered, "What's wrong?" Before Jenna could deny anything, Ryder continued, "And don't say nothing. I know you."

Jenna sighed. _**"I just hate that I can't talk to Dean. I mean, here he is, and he can't understand me. I don't want to have to just write what I need to say to him."**_

Ryder frowned. She had a feeling that that was the problem. Jenna always was insecure about her lack of speech, and it hurt her that her friend's love couldn't understand her. Hmm, she thought. She smirked to herself, _Perfect!_ She cleared her facial expression, "I know it's hard, but we'll think of something."

Lilith sat up and started pulling on Ryder's necklace. Jenna smiled. She felt a little jealous of her friend, because not only does she get to talk to the man she fell in love with, but she also gets a baby. When does she get something out of this whole situation?

 _ **"So, are you going to tell me what happened with Ruby?"**_ Jenna was curious ever since they were all back at the motel room.

Ryder smiled innocently, "Nothing. I just told her to stay away from Sam." She put Lilith on the floor so she can crawl around, not before making sure there wasn't anything around that could harm her.

 _ **"Yeah right. From the cut on your lip, I say there was more to it than that."**_ Jenna laughed silently. _**"How bad?"**_

Ryder may get into fights more than the average person, but she wasn't for bragging even though she always won her fights. She learned a long time ago, if she couldn't stop fighting at least talk about it. And so she did.

Jenna listened as she explained everything that happened, and when Ryder was done Jenna was stunned. She knew Ryder could fight, and she's even seen a few fights, but the way she explained it she could tell Ryder was pissed off. Sam better consider himself lucky, Jenna thought.

As they sat there watching Lilith crawl around, the front door opened to Sam walking in. Him walking in, Ryder remembered that Sam went to the gas station and caught up with Ruby. Both Ryder and Jenna knew that Ruby wouldn't give up too easily even with getting her ass kicked by a human, and Ryder couldn't help but be happy with that. Because if Ruby ignored her warning, than Ryder can get her chance to finally killing the black eyed bitch!

Dean closed his book in frustration. He couldn't find anything that was helpful. He decided that now was the time to summon the damn thing. Whatever brought him back he was finally going to confront it. He was done waiting for it to come looking for him. Dean hated being in the dark, and even more when it was about him. Don't get him wrong, he was grateful he was out of the pit, but he still would like to know who brought him back and why.

He didn't like thinking of Hell and what happened, but it wasn't something you could forget. The pain that he felt wouldn't go away no matter how hard he tried. He shook his head clearing his thoughts and called, "Bobby?"

* * *

Bobby and Dean left the yard with Jenna, even though Dean didn't want her to come. But after much convincing from Ryder, he agreed. As much as Ryder wanted to go meet Castiel, she had to decided to stay at Bobby's. She didn't want to give Sam the opportunity to go meet Ruby, and also the fact that it was getting late for Lilith.

Sitting around the empty barn waiting for Castiel to show up, Jenna examined the symbols drawn around. The show didn't really allow her to get a good look at most of the symbols. Some of them she knew, most she didn't.

"Are you sure you did the spell right?" asked an impatient Dean playing with his knife. Bobby just glared at him, which Jenna smiled at. It was one thing to watch it on TV, it was another thing watching it in person.

Then right on time, the barn doors opened up. Jenna's heart began to beat fast as Castiel walked in looking like a total bad ass. She tilt her head, _Damn, he's fine._

Dean moved in front of Jenna pointing his gun at Castiel along with Bobby. She wanted to tell him not to, but knew it wouldn't do anything even if she could talk. Winchesters were too damn stubborn.

Bobby and Dean opened fired, and when that didn't do anything Dean went for Ruby's knife.

"Who are you?" asked Dean readying his knife.

"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition," Castiel said in a monotone voice.

"Thanks for that." Dean stabbed him in the heart, and Jenna cringed at the sight. Poor Jimmy.

Castiel knocked out Bobby when he went to hit him with a crowbar. Castiel looked at Jenna and smiled. Jenna couldn't help but blush. He turned his attention to Dean. "We need to talk Dean; you as well Jenna."

 _Wow,_ she thought, _didn't see that coming._

* * *

Ryder played with Lilith after feeding and changing her. She never thought she would love being a mother. She didn't think it mattered at this point she wasn't hers. In fact, she didn't even acknowledge it. Lilith was hers.

"Momma." Ryder gasped. She said her first word! And it was momma.

"You said your first word!" Ryder kissed Lilith on the cheek and tickled her, earning giggles. After the tickle attack, Lilith yawned. "Someone's tired." She looked around, and heard the shower still on with Sam in it. She wasn't the type to sing, let alone lullabies. She did remember a song that she liked to listen to back in her own reality. "Don't laugh at mommy, I don't have the greatest voice."

As she was singing the melody and gently rocking her baby, Lilith's eyes drooped and eventually closed. Ryder didn't know if it would work, but she was proud of herself at the results.

She didn't notice Sam standing in the doorway to her and Jenna's room. He smiled and couldn't help but be happy. He was going to go see Ruby, but when Ryder said that she would stay he couldn't help but stay as well.

Ryder walked out if the room quietly closing the door. She had almost forgotten to grab the baby monitor Bobby had found for her. She turned to go downstairs when she ran into Sam. She looked up and smiled.

"Is Lily asleep?" Sam asked edging closer. He liked the baby, but was glad that he finally got a moment alone with Ryder. She nodded. "Good." He leaned in, and was almost worried that she changed her mind about kissing him. The worry went right out the window when she kissed him back. At that moment, they both thought the same thing, _Finally!_

They kissed for what seemed like hours, but was only a couple of minutes. Both broke apart, and both had huge grins on their faces. The kiss wasn't what they were expecting... it was more.

"That was amazing!" Ryder gleamed. "I know you've only known me for a short period, so please don't freak out. I've been in love with you for ten years, and I want nothing more than to get to know the real you." She looked away afraid that she would see him get weirded out. She was never able to open up to anyone other than Jenna.

Sam didn't know what to say. He really liked her, maybe one day even love her. He felt happy that someone could feel so strongly for him, and a little sad. He didn't want anyone to love him, because of what he did in the past, and what he's doing now; he didn't deserve it. He looked at Ryder and could see that she meant every word, so maybe he can try.

He grabbed her chin so she could look at him, "Thank you. I feel like I could love you one day, so how about we start off with me really liking you?" She smiled, and they went back to making out.

It wasn't like she expected him to fall in love with her right away, because if he did she would call bullshit. She was just thrilled that he liked her at all.

* * *

"How do you know her? Who are you?" demanded Dean putting himself in between Castiel and Jenna and even holding her hand. He didn't realize he did it, but Jenna did. Just holding her hand, she felt like she would burst with happiness. She felt the warmth of his hand, and she never wanted to let go.

"My name is Castiel." Castiel said looking around at the tools they had brought.

"I figured that much. What are you?"

Castiel turned to look at Dean, "I'm an angel of the Lord." He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"There's no such thing, so who are you really?"

"This is your problem Dean, you have no faith." Lightning struck showing the shadows of Castiel's wings.

Seeing his wings was an incredible experience for Jenna. She never thought seeing its shadows would ever make her feel happy. She knew very well that God and the angels in this world weren't at all like how she believed them to be, but nevertheless it was still an amazing feeling to see an angel.

Dean on the other hand was scared. He remembered what his dad told him; never let your enemy know you were afraid. He was never one to believe in angels, and he wasn't about to believe this one just because it said was an angel. He wasn't stupid. If he took every creature he ever came across' word, he would've failed as a hunter long ago.

"Why would an angel rescue me from Hell?" Dean didn't understand why an angel would rescue him of all the souls in Hell. There were thousands of others that deserved to be saved more than him, so why?

"Good things do happen," Castiel said. He didn't know why Dean would question him. Shouldn't he be happy to be out of Hell?

"Not in my experience." Dean spit out.

Jenna didn't like where this was going. She knew Dean didn't feel like he should be saved, and it was hard to watch it happening in front of her. She wanted Dean to know he deserved to be saved as much as the next person. It was bad enough when Castiel asked him only to have Dean confirm it when he didn't respond.

* * *

"God has work for you. As for Sam, Jenna, and Ryder."

"What work?"

"You have already learned that the apocalypse is coming. The seals that are keeping Lucifer imprisoned are being broken by Lilith."

"Lilith? As in the Lilith that held my contract?" asked Dean. He really wanted that bitch killed for what happened to him, and for her wanting to kill Sam.

"Yes. Up until recently we were keeping tabs on her, trying to protect as many seals as we could."

"What do you mean 'until recently?'"

"A little over a week ago, Lilith dropped off the radar. We were unable to locate her, yet the seals are still being broken. God commanded you to be saved not only to help stop the seals, but to find Lilith. It is important that she be found." With that Castiel vanished.

After Castiel left, Jenna watched as Dean sat on the table looking at nothing as she went to wake Bobby. Bobby went to pack up the car. He could tell that Dean needed a moment after whatever happened. Jenna went to go help him, but he shook his head saying he had it.

Jenna went to stand in front of Dean wanting to say something, but couldn't. She did the only thing she could think of. Since she couldn't speak to where he'd understand, she used another sense. She reached out to touch his cheek, and when he looked her in the eyes, she moved closer. They went into to each other, and felt the touch of the other's lips. And it was beyond any words either could come up with.

Bobby walked back in, and stopped at the sight before him. He walked back out shaking his head. _Idjits._

* * *

Somewhere in a diner, a certain demon was growing that Sam wasn't there to meet her. _Where the hell is he? S_ he was still in some pain from her fight with that bitch that had her eyes on her possession. Sam was hers, and she wasn't going to let anyone take him away. After all, she needed him for her end goals.  


	7. Chapter 7

Dean was getting stir crazy with being cooped up in the house, so they all agreed to go find a hunt. He didn't like the idea of a baby coming with them, he had argued his concerns. He was outnumbered when everyone agreed that she would be fine. Ryder wasn't going to stay put, and there was no way she was going to leave Lilith with anyone.

They had finally let the girls go shopping for more clothes and things for Lilith. After being in the same clothes for the passed few days, they were more than happy to go. Sam and Dean had to go along with them, because there was no way Dean was going to let either of them drive his baby. And he wasn't going to be by himself while the girls went shopping. He needed someone to rant to.

Jenna found it funny that Dean had so much love for his car, and found it even more funny that she felt a little jealous. _Wow, aren't I just messed up._

Stopping at a motel for the night, Sam went out to get food.

Once their shopping was done (Dean and Sam being thrilled), they came back to their motel room. Sam wanting to be cozy with his new girlfriend, but had to accept that Lilith was also apart of the package. He didn't have a problem with it, and even found himself enjoying it. It hurt him, because although he was in a relationship with Ryder, he couldn't help but think about Ruby. Would it be wrong to keep things going with Ruby when he was dating Ryder? Would that be considered cheating? After all, she was helping him with his powers, and he was saving people. That's what he wanted, and with his powers improving, he could finally get stronger to kill Lilith. That was the most important thing he wanted to do; kill Lilith for what she did to his brother.

Dean was pissed off. He was angry that the bitch that held his contract wasn't able to be found. Where the hell was she? And why couldn't the angels find her? If she was gone, then who was breaking the seals? He had so many questions, and there was no one around to answer them. He took a deep breath, he didn't want his anger to get the better of him. He hated this. Not only does he have to deal with knowing what happened in Hell, but now he has to worry about finding Lilith and stopping the seals from breaking. Why couldn't things be simple?!

Jenna couldn't stop thinking about the kiss she shared with Dean. She wasn't going to get her hopes up that they were now a couple. The brothers had other things to worry about. But could she really be at fault for wanting something more to happen? She looked at Dean, and could tell that he was in deep thought. No doubt he's thinking about the seals and Lilith. She knew from watching the show, he wouldn't be able to handle a relationship right now. He would think he didn't deserve her, and if she was honest with herself, she thought the very same thing.

Ryder could feel the tension in the room, and she didn't like it. She put on a smile and played with Lilith. After hearing about what Castiel said, she had this strange feeling. She looked at her daughter, and frowned. She hoped she was wrong, but the thought wouldn't leave her. She didn't want to think about the possibility, but it was too much of a coincidence to be a coincidence. Ryder hoped that none of the others came to the same conclusion, because that would mean trouble for her.

She loved that her and Jenna were brought here, but there had to be a reason why other than what Castiel said, right?

Eventually all five went to sleep with Sam Ryder and Lilith sleeping in one bed, and Jenna and Dean in the other. Dean was a little hesitant, but he was happy nonetheless.

Normally he would go for it, but he didn't for two reasons. One was because he liked her too much for a quickie, and two because his brother, Ryder and a baby were in the bed next to them. So that put a damper on the mood. He fell asleep holding Jenna both with a smile on their faces.

After awhile the door opened and closed quietly, and all she could feel was anger and sadness. She sighed, "Oh Sam."

* * *

Ryder couldn't go back to sleep for she had too much on her mind. One was the information Castiel gave her and the rest was Sam. All she could think about was telling him about Ruby. Would it be so wrong? All she wanted to do was beat her ass then kill her, but would it be right to do that without telling Sam the truth?

Ryder jumped slightly at the sudden movement and saw that Jenna was awake. _**"Can't sleep either?"**_  

Ryder shook her head. Jenna looked to the bed and saw that Sam was gone. She sighed.

"He's gone."

 _ **"Do you want to tell him?"**_ Jenna could see her friend hurting and she didn't like it.

"Yeah, I do, but what if it does more bad than good?" She loved Sam, and didn't want to see the brothers' relationship go down the way they saw. She loved the brothers too much.

_**"If you're not sure, call Cas. Maybe he can help."** _

"That's a good idea, but he's not how he was in season ten. Season four Castiel was just a soldier, nothing else."

_**"But you know he has questions, doubts. We know a lot, maybe what we know can not only help the brothers, but him too."** _

"Did anyone ever tell you ladies that it's strange to hear a one sided conversation between two people?" asked a voice next to Jenna.

They both jumped then chuckled.

"No more strange than to see two brothers have a silent conversation," Ryder countered.

"Where's Sam?" Dean asked sleepily.

Both women shared a look, then Ryder cleared her throat, "He went to the store. I was craving something, and he offered to go for me."

Dean didn't say anything else but went back to sleep. Jenna gave Ryder a look that she interpreted as _Do what you feel is best._

Ryder smirked. Sam and Dean aren't the only ones that can have a silent conversation, but nodded anyway.

* * *

Ryder made sure Lilith wouldn't fall off the bed if she were to roll over. She crept out of the room, and prayed for Castiel. Minutes went by and she was about to give up and go back into the room, when she heard wings behind her.

"What do you want Ryder?" Castiel asked.

 _Wow_ , she thought, _he is more sexy in person._ She cleared her throat. "I need a favor." She figured being blunt would be better.

Castiel tilt his head in confusion. "What favor would that be?"

"Well, I need two things from you, and I'll give you important information regarding the apocalypse in return."

Castiel stepped closer to her, "What information?"

"Information regarding two angels by the names of Uriel and Zachariah." Getting them out of the way would help the brothers out very much. They were two angels they didn't need around.

"What about them?" Castiel didn't understand what they had to do with anything. He knew that the girls were from the future in another universe, but he didn't understand where she was going with this.

"Both angels want the apocalypse to happen. Uriel kills angels that don't want Lucifer freed. He'll try to kill you too. Zachariah is just a plain dick who will stop at nothing for Sam and Dean to play their roles if the apocalypse happens. He'll go so far as to hurt them, both physically and emotionally." She thought about when Zachariah showed them his mother when they died and went to Heaven. "They get killed anyway, so get rid of them and it'll save us a whole lot of trouble."

Castiel thought over what he's been told. He looked her in the eyes and knew she was telling the truth. He couldn't help but feel angry with his brothers. He nodded. "What do you want?"

"I need you to help Jenna. Her vocal cords were damaged a few years ago, I need you to heal her. She's been through a lot. You want our help, fine, because there isn't anything we wouldn't do for you. All she wants to do is to be able to talk to the man she loves."

"Fine. What's the other thing you need?"

Ryder smirked.

* * *

The next morning, Dean and Jenna woke to Lilith crying. They groaned. Neither wanted to get up, but when the crying continued, they had no choice.

"Jenna you can get the next shower. I just took mine," Ryder said changing Lilith. She smiled waiting for it to happen, and she didn't have to wait long.

Jenna not even knowing until it happened, "Okay, thanks."

Both Jenna and Dean were too stunned to even move. Dean staring at Jenna and Jenna staring at Ryder, both in disbelief. All Ryder could do at that point was chuckle picking up Lilith.

"What's wrong?" she asked innocently.

Jenna opened her mouth not too sure she actually spoke. "How?" She hadn't heard her voice in so many years, it was a strange sound.

"You can talk! That's fantastic, " Dean said hugging her.

"Cas healed you. So thank him." She smiled big seeing her friend talk nonstop to Dean. Unfortunately it fell from her face when the door opened to reveal Sam. She loved Sam, but was hurt that he acted like nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Sam! I can talk!" Jenna yelled and then running to hug Sam. She was so happy she got her voice back. _Thank you Cas!_ she prayed.

Sam hugged her back, "That's great. How?"

"Castiel did it."

"I don't mean to interrupt, but Jenna can you feed Lilith? I need to speak with Sam." She said the last part glaring at Sam. She didn't care if Sam got upset, because all she cared about was his and Dean's relationship. It wouldn't do them any good if season five played out.

Jenna could tell by the look on her face that it wasn't going to be good. She held out her hands for Lilith and watched Sam and Ryder walk out the door.

Dean wrapped his arms around Jenna and smiled. He loved the sound of her voice, and was happy to finally hear it. _Thank you, Castiel._ He kissed her cheek and smiled at the baby.

"Morning Lily." He stroked her cheek, and she latched onto his finger giggling.

* * *

Sam closed the door to their motel room. He was a little nervous what Ryder wanted to talk about. He could see she was pissed off, but he just didn't know why. By the look on her face, he didn't think he wanted to know. But he decided to man up, and face what she had to say. It couldn't be that bad, right?

"What's wrong?"

Ryder stayed quiet for a minute, and looked at him dead in the eye. "We need to talk."

Sam gulped. Isn't that what someone says when they want to break up? He didn't want to break up. They just got together, and he really liked her. "About what?"

She could see the fear in his eyes, and even though she loved him that's what she wanted to see. "About Ruby."


	8. Chapter 8

"What about her?" asked Sam completely confused.

Ryder sighed. "I need you to stay away from Ruby. She's using you." She needed to tell him the truth, and it was best she do it now rather than later.

Sam stared at her shocked at what he just heard. Did he hear her right? Of all the things he was expecting her to say, that wasn't even remotely close to what he had in mind.

"What do you mean? How do you even know about her?"

Ryder looked at him like he was stupid. "Did you forget about the part where I told you Jenna and I are from season ten? Which means we already seen all this happen. We know what's going to happen if you continue to be with her, and I don't want to watch it happen. I can't."

Sam could see the sincerity in her voice, and he could tell she was telling the truth. But he couldn't. This was something he had to do, and as much as he liked Ryder he couldn't stop now. 

Sam shook his head, "I know she's a demon, and they can't be trusted-"

"Exactly!" Ryder cut him off throwing her hands in the air.

"-but I need her. She'll help me defeat Lilith. If you meant when you said you fell in love with me, then trust me when I say I know what I'm doing."

"The demon blood isn't going to help you, nor will using your powers. It'll only cause more problems, and Ruby is only making it worse!" Ryder yelled out.

Ryder couldn't believe what she was hearing. It was happening all over again. She couldn't let Sam go down the same road her and thousands of other people had seen. She opened her mouth to finally tell him what Ruby was up to, but was interrupted.

"I'm done talking about this," Sam said walking back into the room leaving a very pissed off Ryder. He didn't want to just leave her, but he felt this was what was needed to be done.

If it were anyone else who talked to her like that, she would have knocked them out. _He's so lucky I love him_ , she thought.

Sam wasn't prepared for the conversation that would await him in the room. He left the door opened for Ryder to come in, and when he looked up he saw a scared Jenna and an angry Dean.

"You're using your powers?"

* * *

Dean was talking with Jenna when he heard yelling. It sounded like Ryder. He thought she was in trouble until he heard,

_"The demon blood isn't going to help you, nor will using your powers. It'll only cause more problems, and Ruby is only making it worse!"_

He couldn't believe what he just heard. Sam told him he wasn't using them anymore. He lied! He was shaking in anger, and when his brother walked in the room he was tempted to hit him for his stupidity.

Dean and Sam went through the same argument they had in the show. Sam explaining he's helping more people than they were when they were using the old method, and Dean saying it was wrong.

Ryder didn't want to do it, but she had to. She was never a fan of snitching, but she had to let Dean in on what Sam was doing. Both women knew the only person who had a right to yell at Sam was Dean, and even though Ryder wanted to do it she stepped back.

While Dean and Sam were 'talking,' Ryder finally had the opportunity to talk with Jenna. She never heard the girl speak, so it was nice to finally hear her friend talk.

Jenna was happy she finally got her voice back, because she honestly never thought she would ever be able to speak again.

"So how does it feel to talk again?" asked Ryder holding Lilith. She felt so much better when she was holding her, and it made her happy that Lilith liked it too.

Jenna smiled, "I love it. I could finally talk to him." She had a feeling that Ryder had something to do with it, and she was already thinking of ways to show her gratitude.

Their talk was interrupted when Dean's phone went off. He answered still glaring at Sam who just rolled his eyes. Ryder really wanted to knock some sense into him, but turned away.

"Who was it?" asked Sam when Dean got off the phone. He wanted the conversation to divert from him. He knew that Dean would be pissed at him, and he went through different scenarios on what would happen, but he wasn't ready. He wanted Dean to understand that he was saving more people, and that it was the whole point of being a hunter.

"A hunter needs our help in Carthage." Dean began to pack his bag, and motioned for Sam to do the same.

Sam didn't like that he was being ordered around, but at the moment he didn't want Dean to get anymore pissed so did as he was told. When they finished packing they remembered about the girls and the baby.

"Look, I don't want you girls getting involved in this hunt. So when we get there, I need you to stay in the motel room, okay?" Dean didn't know if they could handle themselves or use weapons, and there's also the fact they had a baby with them.

"We can help," informed Jenna. Now that she could talk, she wanted to spend as much time with Dean, and if that meant helping out with hunts then so be it.

"Actually, that's okay, " Ryder said cutting in before Dean could object. "We'll stay in the motel room." She gave Jenna a look that said to shut up and she'll explain later, so Jenna nodded.

* * *

When the boys left to go on their hunt, Jenna was watching TV, and Ryder changed than fed Lilith. She really hoped she was wrong, but if she wasn't then what was she supposed to do? She had been thinking about it for awhile, and the more she thought about it the more depressed she got. Ryder hated even thinking about it, but couldn't deny the possibility.

She didn't want the future to play out like she had seen in their own world. She gave it some thought, and when it came down to it, could she really do it? The years she had seen weren't great all because of a certain race. They caused not only Sam and Dean heartache but others as well, and if she could put an end to it, why wouldn't she? It was the role hunters had, right? To protect those who fell victim to the supernatural. Neither she nor Jenna were hunters, but should that stop them from helping where they could?

Jenna could see the emotions flashing across her best friend's face, and it broke her heart. She had a feeling that whatever was going through Ryder's head wasn't going to be good. She turned off the TV, and faced Ryder.

"Alright, so are you going to tell me what's going on with you?"

Ryder didn't speak for a few minutes, but Jenna was patient. It wasn't the first time this happened, and it sure wasn't going to be the last.

"If we found a way, would you want to go back?" It wasn't what Ryder wanted to say, but she found herself curious to what Jenna would say.

Jenna was surprised. She had thought about it, of course. It didn't take long for her to make up her mind. Going back to a world where her dad hated her, and on the verge of failing college wasn't much of a choice. She would rather be here with Dean who she loved and believed could love her. She could be here and help the boys, and build a life here. Even if she had a great life where she came from, she would still choose the brothers.

"No."

Ryder smiled. "Good, neither do I." She watched as Lilith rolled around the bed.

"So, do you want to tell me what's really on your mind, or do I have to guess, and you know how much I suck at guessing games?"

Jenna thought about the time where it took her almost an hour to guess what Ryder bought her for her birthday. Ryder had wanted to tell her a few minutes into the game, but Jenna was too stubborn to give up. In the end, Ryder grew irritated and bored and finally told her. It was a necklace, and Jenna was nowhere close to what it was.

"Do you remember season eight?" Ryder thought it would be good to just hurry and get to the point, but she never looked at Jenna. It helped her to get through what has been on her mind for sometime now.

Jenna wasn't expecting that. She didn't understand why Ryder would ask that. After a moment passed without either speaking, Jenna finally understood what she meant. She sighed deeply. "Please tell me you're not thinking what I think you're thinking?"

Ryder chuckled, then grew serious. "It would save a lot of trouble for the boys. If we could do it, then most of what we saw won't happen. They-"

Jenna got to her feet in anger, "But you know what would happen when the third trial is completed."

Ryder did know it. "Think about it. Without the demons around, a lot of people would be saved. I could do that."

"So you want to be a hero?" Jenna and Ryder hardly ever fought, and when they did it was always something serious. They would never let the little things get in the way of their friendship, after all up until now they were all each other had.

Ryder scoffed. "Of course I don't, but you saw the finale. After all Sam did through the trials, Dean couldn't let him go. With Hell closed off, Lucifer wouldn't be able to escape, Abaddon wouldn't cause the shit she did. Without her, Dean wouldn't need the Mark, therefore he won't become a demon. Crowley being a dick would be locked up along with them."

Jenna could tell she had given it some thought. She knew Ryder was right and she hated it. "What about Sam? How could you leave him?"

Ryder shook her head smiling sadly, "Sam is too busy with Ruby right now to be thinking about me." It broke her heart when she said it aloud. They may have been dating for a short time, but Sam was still thinking of Ruby. Regardless if she wanted to kill her, she needed Sam to see the truth before she could do anything.

Jenna didn't bother fighting the tears that began to fall. "What about Lily?"

"I know you'll take care of her for me. You always did want to be a mother."

Jenna bowed her head in defeat knowing she was losing the argument, "What about me?"

Ryder fought hard against the tears that wanted to be released, but she was failing. She pulled Jenna into an embrace, and whispered, "You were doing just fine before we met. You'll be fine when this is all over. You won't be alone this time. You'll have Dean with you, not to mention Sam and Lily."

Jenna tried to smile, but it came out more like a grimace.

* * *

Sam and Dean drove back to the motel in silence. None wanting to talk about the hunt. Dean not even thinking about the man Sam had to kill, but what Sam told him. Dean hated that Sam thought he was looked at as a freak, but he couldn't blame him. He never did anything that would suggest otherwise. Dean didn't think Sam was a freak, if anything they were both freaks. Dean just didn't want his brother to do something he would regret later on down the road. He hated that Sam was using his powers, and even more that he was with Ruby. He had thought by the way he was looking at Ryder that they were together. He would much rather have him with her, than with a demon.

Sam didn't like this hunt, he had seen what could happen to him if he continued to use his powers, and even though he felt good when he used them, he didn't want that to happen to him. He didn't want to be a monster. Right now all he wanted to do was go back to their room, and be with Ryder. He didn't want anything to do with Ruby or the demonic powers. He realized he had a good thing with Ryder, and he would be stupid to give that up.

As they entered their room, they could tell the girls were in the middle of a serious conversation. Sam didn't want to waste any time, so he dropped his bag and walked right up to his girlfriend.

"How was the hu-"

Ryder was cut off when Sam pressed his lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around him, and kissed back. She had a feeling why he was acting like this, and she loved it. She wanted him to know what could happen, and if he realized that, then she was happy.

Dean ignored the sudden intimacy, because he was thrilled his brother chose a human over a demon. He wanted to do it too. Even though he wasn't completely himself since his return, he wanted to. He followed his brother's lead, and did the same to Jenna. He wanted the love he felt from her, and it made him feel good. He wanted to be loved. He knew his brother loved him, but it wasn't the kind of love he needed. He could find exactly what he wanted from her, and he was willing to return it.

"So what were you ladies talking about?" Dean asked when they all broke apart for the air their lungs needed.

Jenna and Ryder shared a look, but when Jenna shook her head Ryder just shrugged, "Nothing, just girl talk."


	9. Chapter 9

"So why didn't you want me to say anything to them?" asked Ryder.

Jenna sighed. "Well, if you really are serious about this, which I hope you aren't, you know the boys would stop you the first chance they got. I'm not saying don't tell them, but do it after the first trial. By that time, it would be too late for them to do anything."

Ryder didn't like the idea. She didn't want to be like how she was in her old world. She was a very good liar (unless she was trying to lie to Jenna), and it tended to bite her in the ass later. Karma's a bitch.

A month later, Dean came in to tell them of a hunt that was on the way to their destination. It was a town where men were dying of a heart attack without any of the normal symptoms. Jenna immediately looked at Ryder worried. They remembered this episode, _Yellow Fever._ It wasn't a great episode for Dean. It not only harmed his macho exterior, but it made him hallucinate about Lilith.

When they agreed to go along with the hunt, Sam and Ryder went to the diner to grab breakfast. Dean was on the bed watching TV, and he heard Jenna in the bathroom. Ever since she got her voice back, she had been talking more to Dean. He loved it, and found himself enjoying listening to her talk to herself. He never thought he would feel anything other than lust for any woman. He didn't know what this feeling he felt in his chest, but he wanted more of it. He didn't want it to go away, and found it only came when he was around her or when he thought about her. He walked to the bathroom closely and realized she was singing softly. He opened the door a little, and watched as she was brushing her hair. He was so caught up in her words, he didn't notice her staring at him through the mirror.

She was well aware that he was watching her, and she felt happy. It made her happy that Dean found her interesting enough to listen to her awful voice. She was never a great singer before she had lost her voice, and she wasn't a great singer now that she had her voice back.

"Dean?"

He stepped back realizing he had been caught, but he didn't go back to his bed. He opened the door wider, and smiled at her. The feeling he couldn't name was growing more intense the closer he was to her. He loved it too much to walk away. He walked closer to her until their bodies touched.

"Are you okay?" Jenna asked suddenly concerned.

Dean smiled sweetly, "I think so."

No more words were shared, because after he spoke Dean kissed Jenna gently yet passionately. Jenna squealed in surprise, but got over it rather quickly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and the kissing continued, until Dean picked her up, and brought her out of the bathroom and onto their bed.

Jenna had been waiting for this for sometime now, and wanted it very badly. She didn't want to say anything since Dean was still going through his experience in Hell. Through all the bad dreams and trauma, Jenna was right there with him, and Dean was so grateful yet ashamed he couldn't get himself under control. But Jenna never thought once he was to blame. Anyone would have nightmares if they served forty years in Hell, thirty in which you were being tortured beyond belief.

Dean had been wanting to take their relationship a step further, but didn't want to do something Jenna wasn't ready for. By the looks of lust and something he still couldn't name (which was seriously starting to bug him) in her eyes, he would say she had been ready for quite awhile.

"Dean?" He looked at her, and for a moment thought she had changed her mind. 

"What about Sam and Ryder?" Jenna was a little hesitant on going any further in case Sam and Ryder came in though the door. She may love Dean, but she didn't want her friend and her boyfriend to walk in on them.

"What? You want them to join us? I don't really swing that way." He teased.

Jenna rolled her eyes. "That's not what I meant. What if they come in?"

Dean smirked. He picked up his phone and sent a quick message to his brother.

Jenna brought Dean's face closer to hers and whispered, "Now, where were we?"

* * *

Sam and Ryder were on their way to the motel room, when Sam's phone went off alerting him that he had a text message. He was going to reach for it, but Ryder grabbed it first pointing to the road. Sam rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless.

The time since Ryder and Jenna came into their world, his feelings for her grew more and more. He didn't even feel this way even with Jessica, or Madison, hell even Ruby. What was so different about her from the other women he had been with? He really liked her, maybe even more? Was it possible to fall in love with someone in such a short time?

"Dean wants us to stay away for a little while." Ryder said interrupting his thoughts.

Sam shook his head not registering what she had said. "What? Why?"

Ryder smirked. "Jenna and Dean are alone, and want some time to themselves. I think they want to talk about their feelings."

"Smart ass." Speaking of talking about feelings, he really wanted to tell Ryder how he felt, it was only fair since she had said it to him so many times.

Lilith was sleeping in her car seat clutching a stuffed cat they had bought for her a few days ago.

"Ryder?" Might as well do it now. She hummed in response chewing on her breakfast. "I love you." She choked on a piece of her food. He reached over and patted her back. _Not the way I pictured this going,_ he thought as she cleared her throat.

"What did you say?" She didn't think she heard him right. She had been waiting awhile for when he would finally say it back. So when he finally did, she was caught off guard.

"I said I love you." Was she that surprised he would say it? Maybe he should have said it sooner.

Ryder smiled big, and tried to calm her racing heart. "I love you too." She scooted toward him and kissed his cheek. She was going to do more, but Lilith woke up crying. "Duty calls."

Sam loved that his girlfriend took care of a kid that someone gave her, and he could see that it didn't bother her. It made him love her even more when she called Lily hers. Not many people would do that, and for the fact that his girlfriend did, he thought Lily was lucky to have a wonderful mother. He didn't even recognize the same sensation when he first seen her, or maybe it's still there, but now he doesn't care?

* * *

Dean and Jenna lay in bed both happy with what they finally did. Dean didn't want to spoil the moment, but he wanted to ask her something he's been wanting to ask for awhile.

"Jenna?" He said tapping her shoulder.

"Hmm?"

"What was your life like in your world?"

"Um... it wasn't all too exciting." She didn't want to talk about her old life, and as far as she was concerned it could stay in her old world. Now that she was here, she wanted to have a clean slate. She thought about telling Dean about herself, but didn't want to scare him off. She was a little worried he wouldn't like her.

She sighed. She knew all about Dean, she guessed it was only fair that he knew about her.

Dean could tell she was preparing herself to tell him, so he waited as patiently as he could. He really wanted to know now, because patience wasn't a trait he had.

"When I was a little girl, my mother walked out on me and my dad for some guy she met. I didn't understand what was going on, so I waited for her to come back, but she never did. My dad wasn't a nice person after that, and he didn't like me too much. I always thought he just didn't want to be left with a kid to raise. Or it could be that I look like my mother. It could be any number of things on why he didn't like me." She sighed. "It's funny. The number one man a girl is supposed to rely on is her dad, yet mine hated me.

"Ten years ago, when I turned thirteen I saw the greatest man. He was such a smart ass with a devil may care attitude. Yet he cared so much for his family even though it kept getting smaller with each year. He would put his brother before himself and anyone else, even his father. Watching him every week kept me going, and for one hour a week I was happy. Then about three years ago, I met Ryder at a convention for Supernatural, and we immediately became friends. She learned about my home life and she offered to stay the nights to keep me company. She was my best friend, and she made me feel safe from my father. She was even tempted to beat his ass on so many occasions for the things he did."

"Wait, Ryder wanted to fight your dad?" Dean couldn't believe it. Ryder was a fragile looking woman, he would've never taken her for a fighter.

Jenna chuckled, "She may not look it, but Ryder is a very tough woman. She's been in numerous fights; not even you or Sam could take her."

"Tempting." Dean smirked. He really wanted to see how tough she was. And if Jenna thought neither him nor his brother could take her, he wanted to find out even more.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Jenna was looking forward to seeing her boyfriend get his ass kicked by a girl.

"Oh please, I can take her." He waved off her warning.

* * *

Sam knocked on the door, and walked in followed by Ryder holding Lilith. He was glad that both Dean and Jenna were decent.

"So, where's the next hunt?" asked Dean putting on his leather jacket.

Sam looked up and before he answered, Jenna did. "Rock Ridge, Colorado." She looked up and saw two pairs of questioning eyes staring at her. "What?"

"How did you know?"

Jenna sighed.

"Boys, you need to remember that we seen all this." Ryder said feeding Lilith.

"Right."

They all sat in the car driving to Colorado with Jenna in the back with Ryder and Lilith. Lilith had fallen asleep as soon as they drove away. They all learned that when Lilith would cry nonstop to take her for a drive and she would be out like a light.

Something had been bothering both Sam and Dean for quite some time, but they didn't know how to bring up the subject. So Dean figured the best option would be to be blunt.

"Ladies? We were wondering, what do you guys plan to do about going home?" The car was silent with the music in the background.

The girls looked at each other, but none knew how to say to what they wanted. Jenna was a little nervous on what they would say. Would they want them to go back? Would they be angry about their choice?

"If it's alright with you guys, we don't want to go back." Jenna whispered.

Dean looked at Sam and his brother could see he was fighting back a smile. He was happy that they didn't want to go back, and for once he wanted to be selfish and leave it at that, but he couldn't. Sam could see what he was thinking and asked, "Are you sure?"

"Of course. We love you guys too much."

No more was needed to be said after that.

* * *

Dean and Sam were leaving to go to the morgue to check out the body. As they were getting into the car, Ryder called out to them.

"Dean?" They turned to look at her. "Don't touch the heart when it's given to you." She figured that the best way to avoid getting sick was for him not to touch the heart.

Dean was confused when he heard that, and so was Sam. "What the hell does that mean?"

Ryder wanted to hit them over the head. "Exactly what I said. When you're offered to hold the heart, don't. If you can't avoid it, Sam you hold it for him."

Dean started up the car, and as he was pulling out of the parking lot he said, "Dude, your girlfriend's crazy."

Sam smiled. "I know."

Sam and Dean watched as the coroner did the autopsy. They didn't think about Ryder's warning until he asked Dean to hold the heart. Dean looked at his brother questioning what he should do.

Sam didn't know what would happen, but he trusted his girlfriend and offered to hold it instead. He didn't know what would happen if his brother would've held it, and he didn't really want to know.

The coroner cuts something else in the body, and blood squirted in Dean's face. Sam couldn't help but smile, then it instantly faded. Would that do anything to his brother? Sam shook his head. Probably not.

* * *

Ryder watched as Jenna played with Lilith, and stared at Sam's laptop. She was researching for anyone that might have made a deal ten years ago. She was coming up on nothing and it was frustrating her. She banged her head on the table and sighed. Why did Supernatural make it seem so damn easy to find someone who made a deal, while she's been looking for over a month?

"No luck?" Jenna asked already knowing the answer. Maybe they should've told the boys. Sam would've saved them a lot of time if he knew.

Ryder shook her head.

"Momma?" Lilith held out her hands to Ryder quivering her bottom lip. She sensed her mommy wasn't happy, and she wanted to make her mommy feel better.

Ryder and Jenna smiled. Lilith did always know how to make her feel better. Ryder picked her up and kissed her on the cheek. She already felt better holding her daughter. "Thank you baby."

Jenna flopped on the bed sighing. She was hating these motel beds. They were seriously hurting her back. She was used to worse, but it didn't mean these beds were that much better. She closed her eyes listening to Ryder sing to Lilith.

Her singing was immediately cut off when the door swung open. They looked to it to reveal the brothers. Sam looked worried, while Dean looked anxious.

Jenna cocked her head, ''Are you okay, Dean?"

Dean looked at her nervously. He shook his head.

"What's wrong?" She thought back to the episode. "You didn't touch the heart, did you?" He shook his head, "Then-"

Sam cut her off, "Some spleen juice got in his face."

Ryder smirked. "I guess Yellow Fever was meant to be one way or another." Sam looked at her confused. "In the episode, you got hit with the spleen juice while Dean held the heart." Sam nodded his understanding.

"So what now?" asked Dean a little on edge.

Jenna didn't want to change history too much, so she shrugged her shoulders. "Call Bobby."

* * *

After informing Dean the news of ghost sickness, Sam and Dean ran around town trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Ryder really wanted to tell them what they should do, and that it would skip a whole lot of running around. In the end, the episode played out like it was supposed to.

Slowly but surely, Dean's sickness worsened. Jenna stayed with Dean the entire time. The night that Dean ran back to the motel, the audience saw Dean being thrown against the wall by Sam. In reality, Dean just backed up into the wall scared and mad when he looked at Sam. It was odd, because Jenna and Ryder knew what Dean was seeing, but they also saw what Sam saw.

Four hours to go before Dean's time would be up. Jenna knew Dean would be fine, but that didn't make her feel any better when she saw her boyfriend scared to the point of being scared to death.

Sam called Dean to let him know both him and Bobby had a plan and that he would be fine. Dean didn't look all too convinced. Jenna sat next to Dean, and when his attention went to the door Jenna realized he was hearing the Hellhounds. Jenna guided him to the bed. She gave Ryder the same look she gave her when Ryder fought Ruby.

Ryder hurried to the corner of the room and told Lilith to stay and don't move. She didn't take too much time to see if Lilith listened and ran to position herself in front of Dean and Jenna. The door burst open, and as Ryder expected, the sheriff came in.

The sheriff saw Dean, and walked to him only to have his path blocked off by Ryder. The sheriff pulled out his gun, and she even though she wasn't scared of the weapon, she didn't want to risk him setting the gun off. She put her hands in the air in an act of surrender.

"Sheriff, you need to calm down." Ryder's best bet was to reason with him whether it was pointless or not.

"Move or I shoot." The sheriff threatened. Ryder stood her ground. "Why are you looking into Luther Garland's death?"

"You're sick. You need to relax." The sheriff pushes Ryder. Her anger was almost getting the best of her, but she pushed it down.

The sheriff points his gun at Dean and just as he was about to fire, Ryder disarms him. A fight that would have been between him and Dean if it weren't for her and Jenna breaks out.

While Ryder was fighting with the sheriff, Dean picks up a Bible and holds on to it for dear life. Jenna rubs his back, and waits for the hallucination that Dean was sure to have. By the way Dean's eyes shot open, she knew it started.

Dean moves away from her, and even though she knew he was seeing Lilith when he looked at her, it still hurt.

"You are not real!"

"Dean?" She moves closer to him, "What you're seeing is not real. Lilith is not here!"

Dean falls to his knees and looks up at 'Lilith,' "Why did I get infected?"

Jenna at this points is crying. It was bad enough to know what Lilith was doing to him on TV, but to have him look at her like she was Lilith was terrible.

Dean feels his chest being squeezed to no end. It was so much pressure on his chest, and all he wanted to do was breathe. It was painful and listening to Lilith mimic his heart wasn't helping. The pain wasn't going away, and for a moment Dean thought he was going to die, but then all of a sudden he could breathe. He took in deep breaths and coughed. He looked to where Lilith was standing over him and only saw Jenna crying. He reached out to her and held her until she cried herself out.

Dean looked up at Ryder shushing a crying Lilith. He mouthed 'sheriff,' and frowned when she shook her head.

* * *

The brothers, and Jenna drank a beer while Bobby talked to the boys. Ryder laughing at the noises Lilith was making, while also laughing when Bobby and Sam were making fun of Dean.

Bobby drove off leaving the rest by the Impala.

"So, what did you see, near the end I mean?" Sam asked taking a swig of beer.

As soon as Sam asked that, Jenna and Ryder quickly looked up. Dean saw but didn't look at them. He looked up at Sam, and if you didn't know what to look for you would've missed Dean's look a mixture of sadness and alert. Dean would never tell anyone what he saw, but Jenna and Ryder knew.

"Howler monkeys."

"Hey Jenna? You know what sucks about this whole situation?" Ryder asks looking at the brothers.

"Besides the fact that Dean almost died?"

"We'll never get to see Jensen lip sync to 'Eye of the Tiger.'" Ryder looked at Jenna seriously. Then out of nowhere they burst out laughing.

As they were piling in the car, Ryder thought about to what Dean saw when he looked at Sam. She swore to herself at that moment that if she had anything to do with it, Sam would never end up like that.

* * *

Sam slept next to Lilith, close enough to make sure she wouldn't roll off the bed, but far enough not to squish her. Dean and Jenna snuggled up to each other, and Ryder felt very happy for her friend. She sat at the table searching the internet for any sign of a demon deal.

Jenna woke up to the sound of typing and inwardly groaned. She maybe all for her best friend saving the world from an entire race of dicks, but that didn't mean that she liked the fact that she was being woken up at, she looks at the clock on the bedside table, three AM. She got up and walked to Ryder.

"You're still up?" she went to the kitchenette and poured herself and Ryder a cup of coffee.

Ryder took a sip, "We have to find something. I've been looking for over a month, and I can't find anything."

Jenna got up and went to grab Ryder's hand. "Come on, we'll continue tomorrow."

Ryder went to turn off the laptop, when something caught her eye.

"Jenna?"

Jenna looked back at her, rubbing her eyes. ''What?"

She chuckled. "I think I found a deal."


	10. Chapter 10

Jenna was speechless at what Ryder told her. All her brain was screaming was _Finally!_ After all this time, they finally found something that might suggest a deal. She leaned over Ryder's shoulder and read the article. By the time she got to the end, she had a huge grin on her face. Yes! A deal! She frowned. She should be sad that someone was going to die, but thinking about the end result she quickly got over it.

The next morning, the girls were extremely tired from staying up late going over the details of the first trial. What they had to do, how they were going to get there, and how they were going to get Ruby's knife without any questions. Jenna argued late into the night that she wasn't going to be left behind, and although someone had to watch Lilith she wasn't going to stay behind. Their last point to discuss was what they were going to tell the boys. All they had to do was hold off any questions until after the trial.

"Get up ladies. We have a hunt," yelled Dean packing his bag.

Ryder groaned. "What's the hunt?"

Lilith was crying and by this time Ryder could tell the difference between the cries. From the sound of the cry, Lilith wanted to be changed.

"We're thinking witches. Someone had swallowed razors when they were eating candy. It's close to Halloween, so it could be something." Dean shrugged his shoulders.

* * *

Once they checked into the motel, the brothers changed into their FBI suits. Both Sam and Dean kissed their respective women, and Sam even kissed Lilith's forehead before they left.

As soon as they heard the Impala leave, the girls got down to business.

"Okay, first thing's first. Do you remember the spell?" asked Jenna.

"Yes."

"How are we going to get the knife?"

"Don't worry about that. I'll get it before they leave."

"Do you have the glasses?" Ryder pulled a pair of glasses out of her duffel bag. "Holy oil? Lighter?" Ryder nodded. "You'll be able to handle the Hellhound, so that won't be a problem. When will it be coming?"

Ryder thought over the article she had read the night before. "Well if I did the calculations right, it should be coming tonight at midnight. Around the same time the boys would be with the witch."

"Speaking of which. What are we going to tell them? I really don't want to lie. They're going to be pretty pissed we lied to them when we finally tell them about the trials."

Ryder laid back on the bed. "They're going to be pissed either way. But they'll eventually accept it. They want Hell closed off just as much as we do. I'll think of something."

"Oh! What about Lily?"

Ryder shrugged her shoulders. "We're taking her."

"What?!"

"I'm not leaving her."

"She could get hurt."

"So can you. That's why she's going to be with you until it's over."

* * *

Sam and Dean pulled up into the motel lot. After confirming the case involved a witch, they were discussing what they needed to look out for.

Dean found it odd that neither of the girls asked to go any hunts or learn how to hunt with them since they got here. It's not like he wanted his girlfriend and her best friend to hunt, but if they were really big fans of the show wouldn't they want to hunt with them? He wasn't stupid, he knew they were up to something and he was going to find out. He just hoped they weren't doing anything stupid. But then again, they were with the Winchesters, they were definitely doing something stupid.

Sam opened up the door to reveal not only the girls, but two men. He freaked out and pulled out his gun pointing them at the men. "Who are you?"

Dean rushed in after hearing his brother yell. Once he saw Castiel, he told his brother who he was. Sam was smiling that he was in the company of angels. He was always a believer, but to be in the same room as an angel was amazing.

Ryder could see the way Sam looked when he saw the angels, and it hurt her to know the angels aren't at all what Sam believed them to be. Unfortunately the Bible didn't make it clear that the angels were real dicks instead of the Hallmark angels.

Jenna held Lilith and kept her out of sight from the angels. She may know that Castiel wouldn't do anything to children, but Uriel was an asshole, and she didn't trust him.

Ryder had her arms crossed and was very angry at Castiel. They had agreed that Uriel would be a problem, and the best way to go was to get rid of him. By the looks of it, Castiel didn't hold up his end. Damn angels.

"Who's he?" Dean asked pointing to the big black guy staring out the window.

"Uriel. He's an asshole." Ryder said glaring at Castiel. He may be a reliable friend to the boys in the future, but right now he was nothing more than a foot soldier.

Uriel turned his attention to the girl who disrespected him. He looked at her like she was nothing more than the dirt beneath his shoes.

"You better watch your mouth girl, or you'll regret it." Anyone else would stand down, but Ryder wasn't anyone else. She wasn't at all scared of him, regardless if he was an angel.

Sam couldn't believe what he was seeing. An angel just threatened his girlfriend?! What kind of angel is that?

Ryder scoffed. "Please, you don't scare me Uriel."

Jenna understood that Ryder was tough, but there was a difference to who should be disrespected and who should be feared. Ryder may have gone up against a demon, but this was an angel and she really wished her friend would stop talking.

Uriel stepped closer to her trying to scare her, but she just glared at him with equal hatred.

"Enough!" yelled Castiel. "This is not why we came here."

"Why are you here?" asked Dean. He had moved in front of Jenna and Lilith protectively during the confrontation.

"Have you located the witch?"

"Yes, and we know who it is?"

"Do you where the witch is?"

Sam and Dean shared a look. "No, but we're working on it."

"That is very bad news. You must stop the witch."

"Why?"

"Raising Samhain is one of the 66 seals."

Dean understood now. "Ah, this is about you friend Lucifer."

"He's no friend of ours." Uriel spat out.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that." Ryder mumbled.

Uriel glared at her. He didn't like the meaning behind those words, and he certainly didn't like her. He turned his attention to the other girl holding a child. He sensed something odd in the room, but he couldn't pinpoint the source. He tried to get a look at the child, but Sam's whore stood in front of her blocking his view.

After discussing that the boys would find the witch before the seal would break, the angels left. Dean was impressed with Ryder for standing up to him, and he found himself liking her more all the time. He was still skeptical about her strength, just because she had a mouth didn't mean she had the strength to go with it.

The boys went to the diner down the street leaving the girls at the motel.

"We need to leave tonight once the boys go after the teacher."

Jenna nodded her understanding.

* * *

When Sam and Dean were leaving to go after the teacher, Ryder called Sam back.

"I want you to be careful."

"Always."

"Sam, I want you to promise me something. I need you to promise you won't use your powers. No matter what."

"I promise."

"I love you." She kissed Sam passionately. She fought back the tears that wanted to fall. There weren't many things that scared Ryder, but the trials did. She didn't want to admit it, but she was terrified. Terrified that she wouldn't see Sam or Dean anymore. Terrified she would be leaving her best friend behind, and her daughter. Terrified that she was going to die in the end.

Death was something that scared everyone. Not a lot of people would admit to it, but everyone was scared to die. Scared of the unknown. Scared to leave the ones they love behind. That's what scared her and it scared her even more, because not only was she going to die when the trials were finished, but because she wouldn't have much time with the man she loved more than anything (other than Lilith).

"I love you too." Sam kissed her a final time, then got into the car with Dean and drove off.

Ryder watched as the car drove out of sight. She didn't know what would happen in the next few hours, but she prayed that she would come back with the first trial finished. She had to. Besides the trials, she had so much to do and so little time to do it. Once she finishes the first trial, there was no going back. Even though Sam walked away when Dean begged him to, she knew that wouldn't work for her. She had so much to live for ever since she came here, but there was so much damage that would happen if the demons were left alone.

"It's hard to say goodbye especially to someone you love." A voice said behind her. Ryder turned to see Jenna holding Lilith.

"Well hopefully it won't be forever." She took Lilith from Jenna and walked back in the room to get ready.

"Did you get the knife?"

Ryder shook her head. "Him not using his powers is more important. He'll need all the help."

"So what are you going to use, because you have to bathe in its blood?"

Ryder shrugged his shoulders. "Let's hope a silver knife works just as good."

* * *

A couple hours later, they came to the location of the man who made a deal ten years ago. A man had saved his daughter from a rare disease that had no cure. The doctors claimed it was a miracle, because there was no evidence of the daughter ever having been ill. Neither girl was sure that it was a deal, except that the girl was healed the very next day after being declared that she was going to die in a matter of a few weeks. And it was ten years ago exactly.

They explained to the man the whole situation, and once they made it clear that they were not crazy the man agreed to let the girls help him. Ryder had gotten the glasses ready, and it looked similar to the show, but so much more real. The blue everywhere was beautiful. She shook her head when she remembered what she was here for.

Jenna held Lilith tight. She hated this whole situation, and not just the part that her best friend could die, but the fact that Lilith was there. Anything could go wrong, and she could get hurt.

She locked themselves along with the man in the room. They were all scared, but having a pair of glasses herself and a loaded gun made her feel a little more safer. A little. She looked at the clock on the wall and her heartbeat picked up when the clock struck midnight.

The man looked around scared like he heard something, and Jenna could tell he was hearing the Hellhound. Let the show begin. _Please God, keep Ryder safe._

* * *

Sam was so angry with himself. Although he didn't want to do, he didn't have a choice. The worst part of the whole situation was the way his brother looked at him. He didn't like it, and prayed Dean would never look at him like that. He hated to see the fear in his brother's eyes. Dean was afraid of him, and it hurt him deeply. He leaned his head against the window and closed his eyes as Dean drove them back to the motel.

_(Flashback)_

Sam tries to stab Samhain. The cut sizzles and Samhain throws Sam into the wall across the room. He gets up and Samhain looks at him and gets ready to attack. Sam puts up his hand, and uses his power to stop him. Samhain fights against Sam's hold, but he manages to keep him from advancing too much.

Dean comes running around the corner and watches as his brother uses his powers. Dean's face falls. Sam sees Dean passed Samhain, but continues. He didn't want to do it, and he certainly didn't want his brother to watch. Sam put all his concentration on his target.

Sam exorcises Samhain, and once he is out of the body, Don's eyes turn back to its normal color. Sam can barely look at his brother. Dean looks at him sadly, and with a bit of fear in his eyes.

_(End Flashback)_

Sam wanted to cry, because he remembered his promise to Ryder not to use his powers. He wasn't looking forward to seeing her disappointment. He had enough of that from himself, and most likely from Dean too.

Dean was more sad than scared. He wasn't scared of his brother, but for him. They both knew that using the demon powers was like playing with fire. It may seem pretty and harmless on the outside, but the more you mess with it the bigger the chance you are to getting burned. That's what was going to happen to his brother. No, he shook his head. He made a promise to his brother a long time ago, that no matter what he was going to save him, and he will. If it's the last thing he'd do, he's going to save Sam.

* * *

Ryder had a pair of old glasses on looking around for the Hellhound. Other than looking for the beast, she had to admit the man's house looked really nice. It was much bigger on the inside than it was on the outside, and clean. Then she heard it, growling.

She took in a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. _Please God, keep me safe._ She looked around for the beast, and she was going to walk to check in another room, when she saw it. It was hideous, and big. Damn. The show did not do the Hellhound justice. If she wasn't in the position to kill the hound, she would seriously want to admire it. 

It was snarling at her, and this was it. First trial. She took her stance, knife ready. She was starting to have second thoughts about not getting Ruby's knife. No, Sam needed it more than she did. She'll be fine.

(AN: Ryder fights with the Hellhound. Use your imagination).

The Hellhound had her pinned, and despite her dislocated shoulder, this was the position she was waiting for. The Hellhound was ready to attack her, when she stabbed the animal in its stomach. The hound whined in pain, but she ignored it. She was never one for hurting animals, but she figured this could be overlooked. She dragged the knife across its stomach and the blood (black), drenched her entire body. Ugh! She pushed the dead hound next to her.

Ryder just wanted to lay there forever. She was so tired, and hurt, and covered in blood. She carefully sat up and as soon as she did, the pain from her shoulder shot through her entire body. She breathed through the pain, and when it subsided she called out to Jenna.

* * *

Jenna could hear the commotion between the Hellhound and Ryder, and each time Ryder cried out in pain, Jenna fought the urge to go help her. Lilith began to cry when she heard Ryder. Jenna tried to soothe her niece, but Jenna was crying herself. Stupid emotions.

The man looked panicked, but otherwise was fine, so Jenna ignored him. After about fifteen long minutes, the noise stopped. Her heart skipped a beat. What did that mean? Did that mean the Hellhound was dead? Or was Ryder?

_"Jenna!"_

She heard her name, and ran out the door to her friend.

Jenna could see Ryder sitting on the floor covered in black muck, which Jenna realized was blood. She could see the dead Hellhound lying next to her. She sighed in relief. Ryder won. She smiled. They were one step closer to closing up Hell.

"Are you alright?" Dumb question.

Ryder shook her head. "My shoulder."

"What's wrong?"

"It's dislocated." Ryder's shoulder was only ever dislocated one other time, but this time hurt like a bitch. "I need you to set it."

Jenna sat Lilith down, and positioned herself next to Ryder with her hands on her shoulder. "You know I've only done this one other time."

Ryder waved her off. "You did fine the last time. Just get-" Ryder cried out in pain when Jenna set her shoulder back in to place. She clutched her arm, and bit back the tears. That hurt. That really hurt.

"Sorry." She sat next to Ryder, and rubbed her back. She was so proud of her, because not many people would go through all this, especially if they already knew how it'll all end. "Say the spell."

When Ryder got herself under control, she braced herself for the pain she saw Sam go through when he said the spell. She spoke the spell she had herself memorize, and almost immediately her arm glowed and it was painful. Not as painful as being thrown across the room by a big ass dog, but still painful. As the pain went away, she leaned into Jenna.

Jenna held her friend and wanted nothing more than for her not to through with this, but she knew Ryder would do it anyway. Her best bet was to go through it with her.

"I gave him the pouch, and told him to leave if he didn't want more Hellhounds on his ass."

Ryder stood up and held Lilith. She kissed her, and all three left the house to go 'home.' Jenna set the dead Hellhound on fire, luckily it didn't cause the rest of the house to go up in flames with it. They called a taxi, and when it showed up, Ryder rocked Lilith to sleep humming her a lullaby. She closed her eyes, and before she knew it she was asleep too.

* * *

When Sam and Dean got back to an empty motel room, they both freaked out. Both thinking their girls were taken. Sam found a note attached to the TV and they instantly relaxed. Then got angry that they left without telling them.

_Sam and Dean_

_Don't freak out. We didn't get taken by any demons or monsters or angels or anything else you're thinking. We went out for a little girl time. We'll be back later tonight. We took Lily with us. We love you both._

_Ryder and Jenna_

An hour had gone by, and they were about to go looking for them when the door opened. They rose to their feet ready to start yelling when they took in the sight of Ryder.

Sam freaked out when he saw the state his girlfriend was in. He rushed to her side, and she almost collapsed in his arms still holding Lilith.

Jenna took her from Ryder, and Sam picked her up bridal style. He gently put her on the bed. He took in her appearance, and all he saw were her clothes covered in black goo. What the hell?

Silence covered the room until Dean broke it. As Ryder changed her clothes, not caring that Dean was in there too, he asked the question that was plaguing Sam's mind ever since they arrived.

"What the hell happened? And don't give me this crap about 'girl time'?"

Jenna put Lilith to sleep and when neither girl answered, Dean grew pissed. "Well?"

Ryder sighed. "What do you guys think about closing up Hell?"

"What?" They said together. Neither Sam nor Dean knew how to respond to that. That wasn't what they were expecting her to say.

"In season eight, it was told that Hell could be closed off when a set of trials were completed. When all three trials are done, Hell could be closed off with every demon in it."

Dean's jaw dropped at that. Sam was grinning big. Hell could be closed? No more demons?

"Great." Dean clapped his hands. "How do we do it?" If what they were saying was true, then they were more than willing to do it.

"Um... one person needs to do all three trials, and after each trial you say a spell. After the third one, every demon would be locked in Hell forever."

"Okay, I'll do it." Said Dean. Dean was more than willing to do the trials himself. He didn't see himself with much of a future anyway, so he didn't care.

Jenna looked at Dean with so much sadness. She remembered what he told Sam right before Sam killed the Hellhound. He didn't see himself happy. He wanted to die with a gun in his hand. He wanted Sam to live and be happy. She looked at Ryder wanting her to say something.

Ryder saw the look and braced herself for what was to come. "You can't. None of you can."

Sam looked at her confused. "Why not?"

"Because... I've already done the first trial. It's done."

"WHAT?!" Sam and Dean yelled together.

"Shh. You'll wake up Lily." Jenna said. She sighed in relief when all Lilith did was turn over.

Dean tried to control his anger, but it wasn't working. Neither was Sam's.

"What do you mean?" asked Dean.

"Exactly what I said. We went out, and I did the first trial."

"What was it?" asked Sam.

"Kill a Hellhound and bathe in its blood."

"You.. killed.. a Hellhound?" Dean asked astonished. Was that possible? I know you can hurt it, but kill it? But then again if it bleeds you can kill it.

"Yes. And I'm going to do the rest of them." She stood up and tried to look bigger than she was. With her injuries, it wasn't working.

"Like hell you are. You aren't going to do them. Sam tell her!"

"Dean's right. You can't do them. It's too dangerous."

"Of course they're dangerous. You think God wanted the trials to be easy? As if."

"Exactly. I'll find a Hellhound and kill it myself. That way you won't have to." Dean reasoned.

Ryder shook her head. "That won't do you any good."

"Why not? If you did, I sure as hell can."

"It won't do you any good, because I'm the only one who knows the spell you have to say after each trial. And I won't tell you." She was so tired, and all she wanted to do was go to sleep for the next year.

Dean and Sam groaned in frustration. Out of all the girls to be thrown in their universe, it had to be one of the most stupid, reckless, and stubborn girls.

* * *

The next day, Dean still wasn't talking to Ryder which she was fine with. She was too tired to argue. Dean, Jenna and Lilith went out to eat breakfast. Ryder was too tired to go, and Sam wanted to stay with her. Sam wanted to tell Ryder what happened, but he was to shameful. He didn't want to admit he failed.

Ryder went to take a shower since she was too tired to take one the night before.

Sam was packing his and Ryder's things when he heard wings behind him. He saw that it was Uriel. He may have once been happy that angels were real, but now that he knew they were just assholes, he wasn't too thrilled to see one now.

"You were told not to use your powers." Uriel stated.

"What did you expect me to do? If I didn't, then my brother and I would've been killed." He couldn't believe the nerve of this guy. He had to use them. He had to protect himself and his brother. He had no choice. At least that's what he told himself.

"You were told not to use them."

"You know what, you guys are dicks." Sam spat out.

"The only reason you're still alive is because you've been useful. The moment that ceases to be true, the second you become more trouble than you're worth, and I will turn you to dust."

"You touch Sam, and you'll find yourself dead long before you make a move." A voice said behind him.

Uriel turned to look and saw that it was Sam's whore. "You're starting to piss me off woman."

"Don't test me Uriel. I know more than you think. You wouldn't want your little secret to get out about your new friend, would you?"

Uriel smirked, but you could see the conflict in his eyes. He turned to look back at Sam, "Ask Dean what he remembers from Hell." A flap of wings can be heard as Uriel disappears.

"Sam?"

Sam looks at her and frowns. "He remembers Hell?"

* * *

When Castiel left, Dean went back to his breakfast. He looked at Jenna and smiled. "Jen?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you like to go on a date with me tonight?"

Jenna looked at him and smiled. Her eyes glittered with happiness. "I'd love to."

The rest of the day Jenna couldn't stop smiling. She hadn't been on a date in a long time. And now she was going on one with a man she loved more than anything in the world.

When it was time for their date, Dean drove them to a nice restaurant. He was one for fancy places, but he wanted to do something nice for her. She was there for him, and loved him like he never thought another person can love him.

They talked about anything and everything. Dean talked about some of the hunts Supernatural didn't show, his childhood. Jenna in turn talked about growing up with only her dad, and Ryder and how she felt about the show.

The night came to an end, but they felt closer. Dean loved every moment of it. He still couldn't figure out what he felt in his chest every time he was with her. It grew when their night ended. He opened the car door for her, and he kissed her passionately.

Right there at that moment, he knew what that feeling was. He only ever heard about it from other people. He witnessed it when Sam was with Jessica. He heard about it when his father talked about Mary. He saw it on TV. He never thought he would ever be one of them. He knew that people who experienced it couldn't describe it in words. It was beyond words.

But he knew what he felt every time he looked her. How much his heart raced when he saw her smile and laughed at his jokes. That no matter what she was his world, his life, his everything! Sometimes it only took one thing to make him realize how much he needed her. How she stood by him even knowing what his life was like, and what he did. When she was the only one that made him feel complete, and made him feel like he was the happiest man alive!

"I love you, Jenna." He whispered when they broke the kiss.

It was love. He was in love with her. Dean Winchester was in love.

She gasped.


	11. Chapter 11

Completing the trial did more damage to her body than she realized. She didn't think it would take its toll until maybe after the second trial like it did to Sam. She wasn't going to say anything until she had no choice, and that wasn't now. Ryder didn't want to give Dean anymore reason to think she couldn't do it. It's not like she would stop now, even if he gave her a million reasons to stop. She had one reason to keep going: her family. The brothers, Jenna and Lilith were her family. That was good enough.

Now that she got over the sentimentality, she could be sick in bed. When no one was looking she covered up the blood that she coughed up. What she didn't know was someone did notice. Ryder wasn't as sneaky as she thought she when she was sick.

* * *

A few weeks later, Ryder was getting somewhat better, but not completely. She knew from watching the show that she wouldn't be getting any better. Come the third trial, she would look like shit.

"Alright, Sam and I are going to the bar down the street. Jenna, would you like to go?" Dean asked.

Ever since he admitted to be in love with Jenna he's been wanting to be with her as much as he could. Jenna didn't have a problem with it, in fact she loved it.

Jenna shook her head, "No. Someone's got to watch Lily since Ryder still looks like shit."

Dean chuckled and nodded his understanding.

Sam walked up to his girlfriend and held her from behind. "How are you feeling?"

Ryder smiled, "A little better. Go ahead, and have fun." He kissed her on the cheek, and grabbed his jacket.

As the boys were just about to close the door, Jenna spoke, "But not too much fun. Remember we're still here. So keep the flirting to a minimum, Dean."

"Me? I would never do that since I have a wonderful woman to come home to." He walked up to her and kissed her. Dean tried to look innocent, but was failing bad.

"Uh huh, of course. Go and be careful."

The boys walked out the door, and drove to the bar. Jenna closed the door and looked at Ryder. She looked very serious.

"Okay, how do you really feel?" She crossed her arms.

Ryder sighed. She hated being sick. She could hardly get away with anything. "I feel like shit. I thought this wasn't supposed to be affecting me until sometime after the second trial?"

Jenna sat next to Ryder, and put her head on her shoulder. "I assume it's because since we came here, things haven't exactly gone like it should be going. We're changing things, maybe not drastically, but still changing things."

"I'm going to go take a shower. Watch Lily for me?" Jenna nodded. Ryder got her things and went to the bathroom.

* * *

When Sam spotted Ruby sitting at the bar looking at them, he just wanted her to go away. He didn't want anything to do with her anymore. Because if she was still hanging around, then there was a chance he would go back to drinking blood. He didn't want to admit to anyone, but he was hooked. He craved it, but he fought against it thinking about his new family. He didn't want to hurt them by giving in.

Dean spotted Ruby and all he wanted to do was kill her. Sending her back to Hell would only be too easy. As he saw Sam move quickly to her, his thoughts went immediately to Ryder. What would she do if she had come here with them?

"What are you doing here, Ruby?" asked Sam coldly.

Ruby was taken aback at the tone in his voice. She didn't like the way he sounded. She really hoped that bitch wasn't getting to him. She needed him, and she was going to do anything she could to keep him. Anything.

"I've got news for you. I've been hearing around that some girl, Anna Milton, escaped from a locked ward. Demons are pretty keen on finding her. Order is to capture her alive, so she's obviously important. I say find her before the demons do."

* * *

The brothers came back looking grumpy. Neither knew where Anna would be.

"Do either of you know an Anna Milton?" Dean asked.

Jenna nodded. "Yeah, she escaped from some mental ward. Demons and angels are after her."

"See? I told you she was real." Sam said to Dean. He looked back at Jenna. "Wait. Angels too?''

Jenna nodded. The way she looked, they figured that was all they were going to get out of her. Dean was fine with that.

The next day they all packed and drove off to the hospital. Sam wanted to sit with Ryder, so Jenna sat up front with Dean. He wanted to tell her about the night on Halloween. It was bothering him ever since, and he really needed to get it off his chest.

"Ryder?" He tapped her leg.

"Hmm?"

"I need to tell you something."

Ryder didn't like the way he said that. She looked up at him, and she could see he was very sad. "What's wrong?"

He looked up and saw that Dean and Jenna were listening to the radio, but he could tell they were listening to him too. At least they had the respect to make it seem like they weren't.

"I used my powers the night Dean and I went after Samhain." He was bracing himself in case she yelled at him. He had been going through this conversation ever since it happened. None of the scenarios ended well, and the worst of them was her leaving him. He didn't want her to leave.

Ryder sighed. She had been wondering when he was going to tell her. As much as she wanted to yell at him, she didn't. Sam was blaming himself enough, he didn't need to think she blamed him either.

"I know. Sam, you can't keep using your powers. Believe me, it won't end well if you do. I won't let you do this to yourself. I love you too much." She leaned up and kissed him to make sure he knew she meant it.

Sam sighed in relief. He was so convinced she would have left him, because he broke his promise.

"Choose Dean."

Sam looked at her confused. What the hell did that mean?

"When the day comes you'll know what I mean. Just remember when you're given a choice, choose Dean." And that ended the conversation.

* * *

Dean and Jenna went out to get lunch while the others were at the motel. Sam was getting ready to go to the hospital, but wanted to eat first.

Dean loved Jenna so much, and he never wanted to let her go. He still felt like he didn't deserve her, and that she deserved better than him. But every time he was with her, he slowly pushed that side away.

"Dean, I hope you know that I love you." Jenna announced while they got into the car.

"Of course. I love you too." He never did like saying how he felt to anyone unless it was Sam, but since he came back he felt like he couldn't be like the way they used to. He couldn't let his brother know just how damaged he was, but it was different with Jenna. Maybe it was because she knew how he felt since they've seen all this in their world, or maybe because it was something else.

"Good." She looked out the window. She knew this episode, and she didn't want to see him do at the end. He would hate himself for it. Hopefully after she told him, he'll remember. ''Whatever you're told, no matter what, don't trust her."

Dean didn't know what she was talking about, and had a feeling that she wouldn't tell him whether he asked or not, so he simply nodded.

* * *

As they were relaxing, the boys came back. The episodes may be going about differently ever since the girls showed up, but they still happened one way or another.

"Where the hell are we going to find her?" asked Dean walking in.

"I don't know. Maybe we can find something in the drawings." Sam suggested. He laid out the pictures.

Ryder and Jenna had already packed up their things, which Dean noticed but didn't say anything. He kissed Jenna and then turned his attention to the drawings. They were so tired from running around trying to find some clue to where Anna would be. Jenna was getting impatient with them. They were taking too long, so she got up and rifled through the pictures until she found a picture of windows. She showed it to them receiving confused stares. She sighed.

"If you were religious, scared, and had demons on your ass, where would you go to feel safe?"

"Her church. I remember seeing them at her house." Dean answered.

* * *

They drove up to the church. Sam told the girls to stay in the car which was seriously annoying Ryder. Jenna didn't have a problem with it. She was scared, but she remembered this; she remembered Alastair. Him she was scared of. They saw the boys go into the church. Ryder was getting restless, and opened the car door.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm tired of staying in the car, or the motel all the damn time. Alastair will be coming, and they're going to need all the help they can get. Stay here and protect Lily." She ordered.

Ryder picked the trunk lock and grabbed a pistol. She hadn't used a gun in years, and she was hoping she wouldn't have to ever again.

Ryder walked in the church and up the stairs. She had her gun out, and was hoping that a certain black eyed bitch wasn't there. She shook her head. Sam was important to Ruby's plan, so of course she would be there. She had to fight down the anger that was clawing its way out to be released. She took a deep breath calming herself down. Now wasn't the time. She had a plan and she couldn't let her anger ruin it.

She opened the door to see Sam Dean and Ruby looking at her. They were expecting Alastair. He wouldn't be coming yet. If she remembered the episode correctly, he would be there in a matter of minutes.

"Ryder? What are you doing here?" asked Sam. He was panicking. Why was she there? She should be in the car waiting for them.

Dean could see her sad expression when she spotted Sam. He saw her turn her attention to Ruby, and all the sadness went away leaving only anger. He had a feeling that she knew what Ruby told Sam, because he was feeling it too.

"I got tired of waiting in the car." She said still pointing the gun at Ruby.

Sam didn't like this. He didn't want her to see him use his powers. He was so disappointed in himself. He had promised not to use them, and here he was about to use them.

"You have to go."

Ryder shook her head. "I'm not leaving you. The demon that's coming is too strong for your powers, Sam. Remember your promise!" She yelled. They didn't have that much time left. He was going to come any moment.

"I'm sorry."

Ruby was hating that she was losing Sam slowly. She had to get him back. "Sam, you're the only one that can take the demon out."

Sam looked at her and believed her. He turned to Ryder and shook his head.

Ryder pointed the gun at Ruby's chest and pulled the trigger. It wouldn't do anything, but her anger was growing.

"Shut up you fucking bitch!" She looked at Sam. "Please believe me. Your powers won't do anything. Dean," she looked to Dean, "it's Alastair. He's the one that's coming."

Dean's eyes went wide. Alastair?! He was the one that tortured him! He was a sick bastard. They had to get out of there. Now!

"She's right, Sam. We need to leave." He pulled at Sam's arm, but he wouldn't budge.

Ryder was losing her patience. "Ruby, put yourself to use and get Anna out of here."

Ruby wasn't going to listen to her, but when she saw Sam nod for her to do it she scowled. Stupid bitch! Ruby grabbed Anna and left. Dean went to grab Sam to leave, but the door flew open again revealing a man they all knew to be Alastair. Dammit!

Sam wanted to believe Ryder but he had to try. He put his hand up and tried to stop Alastair, but it didn't do more than tickle him. Sam frowned and then panicked. Sam was knocked out, and goes for Dean. He hadn't seen Ryder yet, and she had a feeling that he didn't care for her too much.

Alastair beats on Dean, which was pissing her off. She hoped Jenna was in position. She goes to help Sam, and when he gets to his feet she goes to check the window. Perfect!

Sam stabs Alastair with the knife, but it didn't do anything but stall him. Sam grabs Dean and they look to the window. They nod and run, and Dean grabs Ryder's hand and they all jump out. They all land hard on the ground and some glass pierces Ryder's skin.

All three see the Impala with Jenna in the driver's seat. They run and got in. As they drove off, Alastair watches them go. He didn't know the Winchester's had women with them. He heard they prefer to be alone. He was suddenly intrigued to know more about the women that caught the Winchester's eyes.

* * *

Back at the motel room, Dean sits on the bed taking a drink of whiskey to block out the pain from his shoulder. He hated it when his shoulder was dislocated. It hurt like a bitch when it had to be set.

Sam was busy in the bathroom fixing himself up. Ryder wasn't as bad as the boys, just a few cuts and bruises, but let Dean help her with his one arm. The glass that pierced her skin wasn't as bad as it had felt. Jenna was on the bed holding Lilith, and watched as everyone tended to their wounds.

Ryder was very angry at Sam, and hadn't said a word since they got back. She had told him his powers wouldn't work. Why didn't he believe her? Why did he use them? Ugh! She wanted to pull out her hair, and knock some sense into him.

Sam reset Dean's shoulder, and went back to his own injuries. Dean forgetting that the girls were in the room gets off the bed and walks up to his brother. He had a feeling that they were set up, and by no one other than the demon bitch Ruby.

"Why do you trust her? She obviously set us up!" Dean raised his voice glaring at Sam through the mirror.

Sam didn't want to get into this with his brother. He looked at Ryder through the mirror. He was sad that she hadn't said a word to him since they got back. She even refused to let him patch her up, but instead asked Dean to do it. He felt oddly jealous, which was ridiculous because he knew that Dean loved Jenna. He just hated that she chose his brother over him. But could he really fault her for that? He did go against what she advised. He didn't want to tell Dean why he did trust Ruby, since his girlfriend was in the same room and could hear every word he said.

"I trust her, because she helped me after you left." Sam sighed and told Dean everything that happened after he died. He tried not to look at the anger that was clearly written all over Ryder's face.

Jenna listened to Sam telling Dean about the events after Dean's death, and she felt so sorry for Ryder. She hated that he was giving her all the more reason to go through with the trials. Ryder wouldn't want to keep going if Sam chose Ruby. It was clear that Sam loved Ryder, but the road he's going down will not only cost him his relationship with Dean, but also his relationship with Ryder. If she knew her best friend well, she knew Ryder would fight for him even if hurt her in the process.

Ryder was gritting her teeth the more she listened to Sam talk about Ruby. She wanted so very much to tell the truth, but she couldn't. Someone knocked on the door and Dean went to answer it, and speak of the devil. Ruby.

"I only came to tell you where Anna is. That's all." She put her hands up in an act of surrender. She spotted the whore that wanted her property glaring at her. If looks could kill, Ruby would be dead. She would never admit to anyone, but the look scared her.

Dean was about to thank her for what she did for his brother, but out of nowhere Jenna's words came to mind. _'Whatever you're told, no matter what, don't trust her._ He didn't know if she was talking about Ruby, but he had a feeling that she was. He just nodded his head, and closed the door.

* * *

That night, Dean and Sam was visited by Castiel and Uriel to be taken to Anna to kill her, and when they refused they disappeared. Both brothers were a little worried and confused. Why would they want to kill her?

Dean watched as all three females slept. His brother couldn't sleep and just sat at the table on his computer. Now that he hadn't done it, he couldn't grasp at the idea of thanking a demon. Sure she had helped him when he couldn't, but she had to have done for some unknown reason. Demons only care about themselves, no matter how helpful they are. They're fantastic liars, but once you know what they are, the lies are easy to spot.

The next morning, there was still tension in the room. Mostly between Sam and Ryder. Dean wasn't up to being in the room any longer, and by the looks of it Jenna wasn't either. They both knew that Sam and Ryder needed to fix whatever it was or their relationship wasn't going to last. Dean asked if Jenna wanted to go get breakfast, and she said yes taking Lilith with them. If they were going to fix whatever was going on, Ryder wouldn't be paying much attention to Lilith.

Arriving at the diner, they ordered their food. Dean liked it when it was just them, even if Lilith tagged along. He felt like they were a family. He wasn't the child type but Lilith was growing on him. He liked her, like a niece.

It had been several months since the girls came to their world, but it felt like forever. Like they were always with them.

"Why don't you ever ask to go on hunts with us?" Dean asked sipping his coffee.

Jenna shrugged her shoulders feeding Lilith. "I get the feeling that you wouldn't want newbies to hunt with you." Dean frowned. "Besides someone's got to watch Lily now that Ryder's doing the trials."

"Speaking of which, you said there were three." Jenna nodded. "What's the second trial?"

Jenna tensed. "I'd tell you, but I think it would be better for her to tell you herself."

"Why?"

Jenna sighed. "She's the one that has to do them, so it should be her to tell you. She probably won't tell you or Sam until she figures out how she's going to do it though. Look, you and Sam have the seals to worry about, let us worry about the trials."

Dean shook his head. "But if we were to help you guys, we wouldn't have to worry about the seals. Hell would be closed off, and Lucifer wouldn't be able to escape."

"True, but if you forget about the seals, then they'll just keep breaking. With no one stopping the seals, the faster they'll break and the sooner Lucifer will be set free. We don't know how long it would take to get all the information we need to complete the trials."

Dean groaned. She was right. They needed to stop the seals from breaking long enough for Ryder to complete the trials. After that it wouldn't matter how many seals they break.

* * *

Once Dean, Jenna, and Lilith left, Sam realized that it was just him and Ryder.

"Ryder-"

She cut him off, "Don't Sam. I don't want to hear any apologies. I know you're sorry, and it's okay."

Sam looked at her skeptically.

"I just need you to believe me. I know you've known her a long time, and me only for a few months, but I know what I'm talking about. If it wasn't such a big deal, I wouldn't be telling you this. But it is, and I don't want what I saw all those years ago happen again. She's only using you for her own purposes." She started to tear up, and when Sam saw that he pulled her into an embrace.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"I don't want to see you or Dean get hurt, and that's what she's going to do. Don't use your powers anymore. It will only do more harm. Please, believe me." She let her tears fall at this point holding on to Sam for dear life.

Sam didn't know what to do. He felt torn between what he wanted and what he needed. He wanted to kill Lilith for what she did to his brother. He wanted revenge. He wanted Ruby to help him. He wanted to use his powers. He wanted to feel strong.

But he needed Ryder. He needed to love her. He needed her to love him. He needed her at his side, and to be at hers. He needed to make her his. He needed her to save him... from himself.

"I believe you." He cupped her face, and wiped her tears away. He kissed her to make sure she knew he was being truthful. "I love you."

"I love you too."

They laid on the bed cuddling with the other. It was what they needed. He whispered into her ear, "Marry me?"

Ryder gasped. She thought she would never hear those words, especially from someone she loved as much as she loved Sam. She wanted to scream yes, but felt conflicted. If she agreed to marry him, then could she go through with the trials? If she married him, would it be worth damning the world? Would it be worth allowing the rest of the seasons to play out? Was it worth allowing Sam to go to Hell, or Bobby to be paralyzed, or Dean to get the Mark, or become a demon? Was it worth it?

Ryder was going to die after the third trial no matter what she said. She would still go through the trials, but was it wrong to want herself to be happy until then?

"Yes."

Whether it was wrong or not, she didn't care. If she was going to sacrifice herself for the world, she wanted to be happy until then. And until then, she would make Sam happy.

* * *

Dean and Jenna came back into the room, and sighed in relief when they saw Sam and Ryder laying together watching TV. Lilith held out her hands, "Momma."

Ryder looked up and smiled big when she saw Lilith wanting her. She got up and took her from Jenna.

"My baby! I missed you." Ryder kissed her, and put her between herself and Sam.

"You seem happy." Jenna said sitting on the other bed.

Ryder smiled. "Yeah. We have some news."

Sam was happy that he asked her. He had been wanting to ask her for awhile, but either the timing wasn't right, or something got in the way.

"We do too." Dean said sitting next to Jenna.

"Okay, you first."

"We're getting married." Jenna squealed in delight.

Sam and Ryder's jaw dropped. "Oh my god! Congratulations!"

Ryder stood up and hugged her best friend. Sam got off the bed, and shook his brother's hand in congrats as well.

After hearing their news, neither Sam nor Ryder wanted to take it away from them. So they looked at each other, and decided not tell them.

_(Flashback:)_

Dean pulled up to the motel and as they were getting out, he plucked up the courage and walked up to Jenna. Before she went to the back seat to get Lilith, he turned her around and kissed her putting all his love into it. They were like that for a few moments, until they broke apart.

"What was that for?" Jenna giggled.

"I love you Jenna so much." Despite his lack of wanting to dirty his jeans, he got to one knee.

Jenna gasped, but smiled. Is this what she thought it was? Please, let this be what she thought it was!

"Dean?"

"Will you marry me?"

Jenna wanted to jump up in joy. She had fantasized those words from the first day the pilot aired. Now she was hearing it. She was almost tempted to pinch herself to see if she was dreaming. She looked around and spotted a few people waiting for her to answer. She nodded.

"Yes, I'll marry you."

Dean pulled her into a hug. He was so relieved she didn't say no. He felt that she wouldn't want to marry him. He was never the type to settle down with one woman, but that all changed when Jenna came into his life. He didn't want it any other way. What would Sam think about him settling down with one woman?

As they kissed, they could hear people clapping.

_(End Flashback)_

"So, what was your news?" asked Dean.

Sam looked at Ryder not knowing what to say.

Ryder shook her head, "It can wait."

Jenna narrowed her eyes at her and crossed her arms. "Oh no, tell me. Now." 

"We're getting married too."

Jenna laughed, and hugged her friend. They were all getting married!

"We didn't want to take away your moment."

Dean snorted. He congratulated his brother, and hugged Ryder. "Looks like we're having a double wedding."

They all laughed not thinking about demons, angels, the seals, Lucifer, or the trials. The brothers were just happy that their woman said yes. Anything else could wait.


	12. Chapter 12

A week after being proposed, they all agreed to get married as soon as possible. Why wait? The apocalypse could come at any moment, and then they would be too busy to have any time to get married.

Neither girl wanted anything big, they just wanted to marry the man that stole their hearts all those years ago. Even going to Vegas would be perfect or down to the court. Although the court would be out of the question, because of their records. So maybe the court wouldn't be a great idea.

Sam and Dean didn't care too much on the preparations; all they wanted was to do was go down to the church and say 'I do.' Letting the girls do the preparations, they had one thing they needed to do: buy the rings. It was one thing to propose without a ring, but to get married without a ring would be a little sad. So they left the girls at the motel, and went down to local jewelry store.

* * *

Arriving at the jewelry store, they looked around. The more they looked, the more they felt overwhelmed. There were too many rings, and they were starting to freak out.

A saleswoman looked at them and she hated it when people came in here when all they wanted to do was look. By the looks on their faces, they must have realized they could never afford one of their rings. And judging by their clothes, they would never be able to afford their prices.

The short one had a disgusting leather jacket, torn pants, and dirty boots. All in all, he looked like a bum. The tall one (who really needs a haircut), had an ugly plaid shirt, dirty looking jeans and boots as well.

The saleswoman wanted them out of the store now. They had to keep up with appearance, and no way was she going to allow some bums off the streets make their store look bad.

The boys saw the saleswoman walk up to them with a huge smile, which creeped them out if they were to be honest.

"Hi, are you gentlemen lost?"

Dean smirked. He just casually shook his head. "No, unless there's another jewelry store around here, we're in the right place."

He turned his attention back to a couple of rings that caught his attention. It was a good thing they had fake credit cards, because there was no way he would have the money for these otherwise.

Sam had found a couple of rings that would be perfect for him and Ryder. He felt that after all that he had put her through, she deserved to have something nice. Although he was going to get it for her anyway, but at least he had a reason for it (other than loving her).

"Well, we don't allow anyone to window shop. So if you'll just leave the store immediately, I won't call security." She said still smiling gesturing for the exit.

Dean looked up stunned. Did she really just say that? "Listen," he looked at her nametag, "Jackie, my brother and I came in here looking for rings. And we're not leaving here until we do."

He would have left after that, but it would just give her what she wanted. That was the last thing he was going to do.

"Actually, I know what I want." Sam said. He pointed to two rings that just called out 'Sam and Ryder.'

Dean nodded. "So have I." He pointed to the ones that he wanted.

Jackie looked at the rings they wanted, and smirked. "Those rings are seven thousand (Dean), and six thousand dollars (Sam). Judging by your attire, those would be a little out of your price range. So if you'll please leave the store."

This woman was seriously pissing Dean off. If she wasn't a woman, he would have knocked her out. He was very tempted to have Ryder come down and kick her ass. That way he could finally see her in action.

"Did I ask for the price? No, I didn't. I can read the tag. I'm aware of how much it'll cost. I'd like to buy these. Now."

After paying for the rings, and getting them into the right sizes, they left. They loved the look on her face when the cards went through and paid for it all. Stupid bitch!

* * *

Meanwhile, Ryder, Lilith and Jenna went to the thrift store. They knew they were told to go to an actual store to buy the dresses, but they didn't want anything expensive. They grew up with second hand clothes, and they didn't care if they had the most ugly dress. All they wanted to do was marry their man.

Entering the store, they went straight to the aisle with the dresses. There weren't that many wedding dresses, but the ones they did have weren't that bad. In fact, for a thrift store the dresses were actually kind of pretty. They went through the dresses until each found one they liked.

Ryder tried hers on, and when she felt satisfied, she went to the baby section. It was a good thing she brought the baby carrier, otherwise it would be hard to look at the clothes. She picked out a few clothes and toys.

Jenna went into the dressing room and tried on her dress. As she was putting it on, she was stunned at what she saw in the mirror. The dress hugged her in all the right places, and it looked as if it was made for her. She smiled, and caressed the dress. She loved the feel of it, and she could feel tears sting her eyes. There was no way that this was really happening. This had to be a dream, because there was no way she was picking out a wedding dress. No way was she getting married to Dean Winchester.

She didn't realize how long she was in there until she heard Ryder at the entrance.

"Jenna, are you okay?"

Jenna wiped her eyes, and cleared her throat. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Ryder could hear it in her voice that something was up, but she didn't go in. She had a feeling that whatever was going on wasn't serious, and that Jenna could deal with it on her own.

Five minutes later, Jenna came out with her dress in her arms happy. She found the dress for her. Ryder had found hers as well. They had to get shoes to go with it. Neither girl was into heels all too much, so they just stuck with flats.

Ryder and Jenna made their way to the register. Everything was going to plan until luck had to step in. Guess that since they're about to marry the Winchesters, they had to get their luck as well.

A few women behind them were snickering at the girls. Jenna put her hand on Ryder's arm to calm her down, and it wasn't working too much. Ryder didn't want to let her day be ruined by a bunch of bitches. She felt herself relax, and waited for their turn in line.

Ryder could make out a few words the bitches were saying. Something like _ugly dresses_ and _ugly blonde_ and they just so happened to say _whoever they're marrying has be the ugliest men on the planet._ That part pissed her off. She would've ignored them calling Jenna and their dresses ugly, because they weren't. Jenna wasn't by any means ugly, because she was very gorgeous and anyone could see that. Their dresses were beautiful. But calling Sam and Dean ugly was so uncalled for!

Jenna could hear what they were saying too, and could see that Ryder was going to let it go. Until they were dumb enough to say that Sam and Dean were ugly. When it came to saying shit about the brothers, Ryder could sort of lose it.

"Ryder, let it go." Jenna warned her.

Ryder calmed herself down, or at least it looked like it. She smiled at Jenna and went to pay for their dresses, shoes and Lilith's clothes. Jenna wasn't stupid, she knew that look. She knew Ryder was going to do something; she just hoped no one would call the cops.

Both girls waited by their car, or at least one they happened to find in the parking lot of a bar Ryder just so happened to hotwire. Jenna, putting Lilith in her car seat, found this whole situation hilarious. She had thought Ryder was going to fight them, but this was so much better. She just couldn't wait for the women's reaction.

The women that were talking shit came out and were walking to their car when all of a sudden they stopped. One woman, who they assumed was the owner, jaw dropped eyes wide. All over the white clean car in black spray paint said, _'Ugly Bitches!'_ All three women looked around as if the person would jump out and admit to it.

The girls burst out laughing opening their doors, and the women looked at them.

Ryder wasn't really trying to hide her smile. "I saw the person that did that, and I think they went that way." Ryder said pointing at a direction beyond the women. Ryder got in her car, and rolled down her window. "They did want me to leave you a message, 'Watch what you say about another woman's man.''' They laughed again as Ryder backed up. Just as they drove off, both Ryder and Jenna flipped them off.

* * *

The girls made it back before the brothers, and that's what they wanted. Jenna and Ryder put their dresses in the small closet making sure the boys wouldn't see them if they were to look in.

Jenna changed Lilith into her new clothes. It was the day before they were going to get married, and she was so happy. It was just only a week ago that the boys proposed to them. She had been wanting to ask Ryder something since it wasn't just her wedding.

"Ryder?" Ryder looked at her through the mirror from the kitchenette. She was brushing her hair. "I want Castiel to come."

Ryder hadn't seen Castiel in awhile, and she was still a little angry at him. She thought about the Castiel from her time and former world. She couldn't stay mad at him.

"Okay, well call him." Jenna did.

A few moments passed, when they heard a flutter of wings near the door. "Yes?"

Jenna stood up holding Lilith. Castiel seemed to stiffen as she did that. Jenna didn't notice, but Ryder did. She turned to face him, and saw him glaring at Jenna. _Please God, don't let him notice_ , Ryder prayed.

"Ryder and I are marrying Sam and Dean tomorrow, and I was wondering if you would like to come?" Jenna really wanted him to come. After all he was going to be close friends to the Winchesters.

"Why?" He tilt his in confusion.

"Because you're important to us and to Sam and Dean. I would really love it if you came to our wedding."

Castiel thought it about for a moment, then he nodded. "I'll be there. Just pray to me when it starts." After that he left.

* * *

Bobby had come down to their motel a few days ago, and he was told that the girls needed a favor. He had put together Ryder's request, and was wondering what else they needed.

By nightfall, he came to their room, and saw that the boys were going to get dinner.

When they left, Bobby sat at the table waiting for them to start talking.

"Bobby we were wondering, since we have no family here, if you could give us away?" Jenna spoke out.

That wasn't at all what he was expecting to hear. He had never got the chance to have kids of his own, so he thought he would never get a chance like this. He blushed a little at their request, and couldn't help but feel happy.

"Uh... sure. I'd love to," Bobby said rubbing his neck.

The girls giggled.

As they slept, Ryder became restless. She just couldn't sleep. She didn't know if it was wedding jitters, cold feet or what? She got up carefully trying not to wake up Sam and Lilith, and went to the kitchenette. There were still some left overs from the Chinese food they had for dinner. She was so caught up in her thoughts, she didn't notice someone sit at the table. She thought it was Jenna, but when the person spoke she jumped.

"Can't sleep?" asked Sam.

Ryder shook her head. "Rice?" she offered. Sam took a spoon and a bite. They picked at the food until Ryder thought it was time to ask Sam what's been bugging her. "Sam, what if you realize you made a mistake marrying me?"

Sam didn't know what she was talking about. How could marrying her be a mistake? He loved her. "What do you mean?"

Ryder sighed. "I mean you don't know anything about me, yet you want to marry me. You've only known me for what, six months?"

Sam chuckled. "It doesn't matter. All that matters is that what I do know is enough to know that I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. But if it'll make you feel better, why don't you tell me about your life before you came here, and let me decide if I still want to marry you or not."

Ryder didn't want Sam to ever know about her old life, because of this very reason. She knew it would happen eventually if they were to stay here. It was only fair that Sam knew what he was getting himself into.

"I grew up in a very shitty part of town. It was the only part my parents could afford. There were prostitutes on most corners, and junkies on a lot of the streets. When I was about fifteen, I was mugged. Some guy I would see everywhere trying to get his next fix, came up and pulled a gun on me, and demanded my wallet. I didn't want to give it to him, because I worked hard for it. He assaulted me, and ran off with it. I told my parents and they told me to stop crying and get over it." She chuckled sadly.

Sam wanted to stop her and just hold her, but he felt that she needed this. So he kept still.

"I told my older brothers and they were angry with my parents. They loved different types of fighting and they mastered many forms, so they taught me. I practiced very hard, and I got so good I would be considered dangerous. That's the sad part of it. The bad part is that I abused what they taught me. Anyone who messed with me, or looked at me wrong, or sometimes didn't even do anything, I would fight. I got arrested countless times for fighting, but it never stopped me. It got so bad that someone whose sister I fought pulled a gun on me, and almost pulled the trigger. I disarmed her and the fighting got out of hand; I was on the verge of losing. She grabbed the gun, and we struggled for it until it went off."

Sam gasped.

"I thought it was me at first, but the girl fell over and that's when I realized it was her. The police were called and I was going to get locked up for a long time, until it was decided that it was self defense because someone saw the fight." She cried at this point.

"I was always a fan of Supernatural, but not big until I went to the convention and met Jenna. We became friends always talking about you and Dean. I found out about her home life, and stayed with her during the nights."

"Why weren't you with your parents?" Sam asked.

"After the trial, they didn't want a murderer living in their home. So they kicked me out. I never fought as much when I was with Jenna; only when I was defending her, or for other reasons. She helped me out with my ex who got a little rough. Her and you guys gave me the courage to leave him. So, do you still want to marry me? A murderer?" She looked away fighting against her tears.

Sam smiled sadly. He got up, and pulled her to her feet. He wrapped her in a loving embrace, and said, "I want to marry you even more now. You are a strong woman, and I can't help but feel like I'm the luckiest man in the world." He kissed her head, "You're not a murderer. You defended yourself against someone who was trying to kill you. I love you Ryder, and I'm so glad you're here with me."

Sam pulled her to the bed and held Ryder as they went to sleep not knowing that Jenna and Dean were awake the whole time.

* * *

The next day, everyone was getting ready. Dean and Sam went ahead to the church not wanting to see their bride until it was time. Bobby had agreed to drive the girls to the church. Getting in the car was difficult, because their dresses were kind of big and they still had to put Lilith in her car seat.

Arriving at the church, Jenna called out for Castiel. Jenna told him where to go. She was glad that Castiel came. What better person to attend their wedding than their future good friend and an angel of the Lord?

Bobby held out his arms and each girl grabbed one, and they walk down the aisle. It seemed as if it took forever to reach their soon-to-be husband. Bobby had grown to like the girls, believing they changed the boys for the better. So he was all the more willing to walk them done the aisle.

The pianist plays the traditional wedding music, and both girls can see that the brothers were happy.

Even though Jenna wanted Ryder to have the day of her wedding to be all about her, she was happy with the turnout. Ryder had told her that she would rather have her wedding day to be shared with her best friend. That and the fact that if they did the wedding together it would save them money.

When they reached the altar, both Sam and Dean held out their hand for their bride. They took it, and stood in front of the man they loved. The pastor stood in front of the couples and smiled. He loved it when young people got married.

"We are gathered here today on this beautiful day in the sight of God to share with Sam and Ryder and Dean and Jenna as they exchange the vows of their everlasting love. Marriage is not to be entered into lightly, as marriage is a sincere and mutual commitment to love each other. Who gives these women to these men?"

Bobby stood up, and cleared his throat. "I do."

The pastor nodded and continued. "Dean, you may begin."

Sam and Ryder turned to look at Dean and Jenna make their vows.

Dean took a deep breath. He was a little nervous to spill his guts out in front of other people. He looked in Jenna's eyes, and everything else faded away. It was just him and the woman of his dreams.

"Jenna, when I first met you I loved you. I didn't know what love was, but I knew I always loved you. You came into my life as a stranger, and now I couldn't picture my life without you. These past several months have been rocky, but I am so happy you stuck by us. I never thought I would find happiness, or someone to love me. Sam loved me, but it wasn't the kind of love I needed." He looked at Sam, "No offense." Sam smiled and waved it off. He knew what he meant.

Dean went back to Jenna. "You knew me, and everything about what I do and what I did, and you're still here. You helped me in more ways than you'll ever know, and I promise to always take care of you. I promise to love you and be there for you during the good times as well as the bad. When I first met you, I thought I didn't deserve you. For you were too good. Now after all that we've been through I _know_ I don't deserve you, but I'm happy you're here. I love you with all my heart."

By the time Dean finished, everyone was in tears. Ryder and Jenna didn't want to tear up too much, because they didn't want to mess up their makeup. Sam was tearing up, because he was incredibly happy his brother found someone that made him happy. Bobby's eyes glistened up for the same reason.

The pastor nodded. "Jenna?"

Jenna was nervous. How could she beat that? She had been waiting for this day for as long as she could remember, now that it was here, she was scared. She looked up at Dean, and let go of all her worries and let her feelings come out.

"Dean, you've loved me for the past six months, but I've loved you for the past ten years. I would watch you on TV, and see an amazing man. A man who would put his family before himself. A man who would put strangers before himself. I came here as a fangirl in love with a fictional character. I was obsessed with a man who played that amazing character. Once I got here, I completely forgot about the character. Because I fell in love with the man that character represented. For as long as I can remember, I've been wanting my father to love me. To show some kind of affection to prove that I mattered to him. Seeing you in person and getting to know you, I realized it wasn't my father's love I needed, it was yours. You think I don't deserve you for the things you've done and the work you do, but those things only made you into the man you are today. A good man with a big heart, and I wouldn't want you any other way. I love you with all my heart and soul."

Dean was amazed that someone could love him so much. He thanked whoever it was that brought the girls to them.

The pastor looked at Ryder and Sam. "Sam?"

Ryder stood in front of Sam. It was Dean and Jenna's turn to look at the other couple.

Sam wasn't nervous whatsoever, he was just happy. "Ryder, I'm incredibly happy you said yes. These past six months have been very difficult for us. I felt at times that the universe didn't want us to be together, but I wasn't going to have that. You were brought to me for a reason, and I'm not going to give you up for anything, or anyone. You know more about me than I do, and what I know I'm so happy and shocked that you're still by my side. What I am, what I've done makes me realize your too good for me. I had believed at one point that it wouldn't be right for you to be with someone like me, but picturing you with someone else would break my heart." He chuckled. "I can't go on unless you're by my side, and I promise I'll always be by yours. I promise to love you and always listen to what you have to say. Thank you for loving me."

Ryder was given her cue to speak her vows.

"I never thought I would be in this position. In a beautiful dress, standing before the man I love and getting ready to say 'I do.' When I first saw you ten years ago, I thought you were the most wonderful man. As the years went by, I was only proven right. You went through so much, and you came back every time that much stronger. Being with you these past six months was the best time of my life. Yeah, we did have a lot of struggles, but yet here we are. If Jared Padalecki were here, I would want to thank him. Thank him for letting me fall in love with you. I came here thinking I knew everything about you because of the show, but you still surprise me. Seeing you made me want to get to know the real you; not the Sam Winchester Eric Kripke created, but the Sam Winchester son of Mary and John Winchester. I promise to always be by your side no matter what. Through thick and thin, I'm there. I love you so much, and nothing will ever change that." She smiled.

Sam didn't think this was real. Who could love him that much?

The pastor turned back to Dean and Jenna. "Dean, take Jenna's left hand." He did. Bobby gave him the ring. "Do you take Jenna to be your wife?"

Dean slipped the ring on, and looked her in the eyes. "I do." He grinned and so did she.

"Jenna take Dean's left hand." She did, and got the ring from Bobby. "Do you take Dean to be your husband?"

Jenna put the ring on his finger, and said, "I do." She was fighting so hard against the tears.

The pastor repeated the same for Sam and Ryder. When they were all done, the pastor looked at everyone. "By the power vested in me, I know pronounce you four husband and wife. Gentlemen, you may kiss your bride."

As soon as he spoke those words, both Dean and Sam took their wives, dipped them and kissed them with so much love.

After the wedding, Bobby put in a CD for the brides and grooms. The brothers allowed the girls to pick the music. The brothers danced with their wives, and after awhile the women wanted to dance with Bobby and Castiel. Ryder wanted to dance with Bobby, while Jenna danced with Castiel. Ryder wanted to thank Bobby for all that he did for her and the boys. Castiel was a little stiff when he danced with Jenna, but after a short time he got the steps. Sam and Dean took turns dancing with Lilith. Dean then wanted to dance with his new sister-in-law, as did Sam.

"You better take care of my brother."

"I will. You better take care of Jenna, or I'll kick your ass."

Dean chuckled and continued their dance. Sam and Jenna shared similar words, but in a more respectful way.

When it came time for the last dance, the grooms collected their wife and waited for the song to play.

The wedding came to an end, and Castiel took his leave after he congratulated the newlyweds. Bobby agreed to tag along so he could watch Lilith so the couples could have one night to themselves.

All four were thinking of one thing at this point: their honeymoon. They wouldn't have the time nor money for a normal honeymoon, but they did want at least one night with their new spouse.

As they slept, everyone's mind was reverting back to the problems at hand. No one wanted the next day to come, because they knew what it would bring.


	13. Chapter 13

A few days after their honeymoon, they had gotten back into saving the world routine. Jenna and Ryder were hoping that Bobby would be done with their request soon.

While they were all at their motel room, Bobby had walked in with an envelope. He sat at the table and waited until he had the necessary people's attention.

"What is it Bobby?" asked Dean looking up from cleaning his gun. Sam had looked at him from his laptop. They were currently looking for a hunt.

Jenna and Ryder knew what he was doing there, but they didn't want to tell the boys until it was done. Ryder let Lilith play with her toys on the bed while they went to sit at the table with Bobby.

"Well the girls wanted to get some papers for themselves now that they would be staying here. So," he pulled out Jenna's papers, "here's your birth certificate, social security card, and driver's license."

Jenna looked at her papers, and saw that her birth certificate said 'Jenna Barnes' including all her information. Her license and social, however, said 'Jenna Winchester,' which she smiled at. She was a Winchester now.

"Here are yours," he said giving Ryder's hers. "Yours was a little tricky, you know with your name change, but I had a buddy of mine do it with no trouble."

Sam looked confused. Name change? "What does that mean?" He got up and looked at her papers.

Instead of Bobby answering, Ryder did.

"Well, since I go by 'Ryder' which is my last name, I wouldn't have another last name to put on my birth certificate and social. Having those say 'Rain Ryder' and my license say 'Ryder Winchester' would be very confusing." She shrugged.

"Which is why your maiden name is now 'Singer.'"

Ryder felt happy that Bobby gave her his name. She felt honored. "Thank you, Bobby." Bobby brushed it off like it was no big deal, but he was happy she was nonetheless. "Oh! What about that other thing?"

Bobby had to take a moment to remember what she was talking about, when it clicked. He pulled out another piece of papers for her. "Here's Lily's. 'Lily Rayne Winchester.'"

Ryder didn't want it to say her actual name. It would bring about a whole bunch of awkward questions she wasn't ready for.

He left a little while after that, having a few hunts of his own to do.

* * *

It was early in the morning, and everyone was still asleep when Sam's phone goes off alerting that he has a message. Sam doesn't hear it, and continues to sleep. Ryder heard it, and checks the message. It had a location.

She didn't want to think about the seals or trials or anything in between. She thought about the last thing that happened before their wedding. She remembered Alastair, and Anna, Ruby taking her, then Castiel and Uriel showing up. She thought back to the episode, and realized the conversation between Castiel, Uriel, and Dean were supposed to continue, not stop. She sighed, and checked the time on the phone. 6:13am. Time to get Anna.

She wakes everyone up, and reminds them about Anna and Ruby.

They all shower, dress, eat, then drive off to Anna. By nightfall, they arrive at a cabin. Jenna remembered this from the show, and then quickly realized that Castiel and Uriel were going to show up. They walk in, and see Ruby standing in the middle of the room looking bored. Anna was sitting on the couch looking uncomfortable.

Uriel and Castiel should be here any moment, and they needed to be prepared. Ryder holds onto Lilith tightly, and looks into the room for anything that could raise questions. Nothing.

"About time you show up." Ruby says. She spots Ryder and Jenna and inwardly groans. She was hoping that the brothers would just dump them somewhere and move on. At least then she would go about her plans without having to worry about some tramp messing with her end goal.

Ryder really wanted to put the bitch in her place, but she calmed herself down. _Remember the plan, remember the plan,_ she kept saying to herself. After a few moments, she was better, still pissed, but not so pissed that she would kill her.

Jenna noticed that something was going on with Ryder, and was a little sad that she wouldn't talk to her. She had been waiting for her to say something, but so far nothing. What she would give to know what was going on in her friend's head at that moment.

Sam and Dean were too busy focusing on the issue before them to worry about Ryder. Before anyone could say anything further, the door bursts open, and in comes Castiel and Uriel. Ryder, still holding Lilith, stands where she was off to the side of the room waiting for the inevitable.

"Why do you want her?" asked Dean.

"Get out of our way," orders Uriel stepping closer.

Dean moves to stand in front of Anna. "Hold on. I know she was tapping into your angel radio, but that's not enough to kill her."

Castiel stays silent through it all. Instead he looks around the room as if he was trying to locate something. He felt it again. That disturbance in the room. He knew it was here, but he couldn't locate it.

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle."

If she didn't know what this was all about, Jenna would find that very creepy and a little disturbing.

"Anna's an innocent girl. You can't kill her." Sam spat out. The nerve of these angels. If this was how the angels were, he could only imagine how God would be.

"She's far from innocent." Castiel informs still looking around.

"What does that mean?"

"It means she's worse then that abomination you have with you. Now step aside."

Dean shakes his head. He didn't like the way things were going, and was regretting having Jenna and Lily there. The way things have gone he knew Ryder would be here whether he said anything or not, but this was no place to have a child.

"No. Go find yourself another one."

"Who's going to stop us? You two? Your wives? Or this demon whore?" Uriel flicks his wrist, and throws Ruby against the wall.

If it wasn't for the fact that it was Uriel that did that, Ryder would seriously ask him if he could teach her how to do that. Dean pushes Jenna and Anna close to Ryder, and attacks Uriel. Jenna remembers what Anna does, and was wishing that she would just do it already.

"Cas, please stop." Sam says not before Castiel knocks him out.

 _Castiel, you are a heartless dick_ , thinks Ryder.

Uriel goes to punch Dean and before long, a white light engulfs the room, and Uriel and Castiel disappear.

Dean looks around, and sees Jenna and Ruby on the floor. He was going to help Ruby up, but remembered Jenna's words, and that Jenna comes first.

Ruby sees that Dean was coming to her to help her, and almost wants to jump up in joy that she was finally getting Dean to trust her, and then deflates when he goes to help Jenna. Stupid bitch! Ruby forgets about Dean, and then goes for the next best thing, Sam. She remembered seeing one of the angels knocking him out. She gets to her feet, but stops dead in her tracks when she sees that the bitch is kneeling over him. She wants to pull out her hair at that point. What the hell is going on?! This is not how it's supposed to be!

Sam begins to stir. Dean goes into the back room and watches as Anna marks up sigils. He figures out that there was more to Anna than any of them knew.

* * *

Telling everyone that they needed to find somewhere that was more safe was the easy part. Trying to fit everyone in the car to head to Bobby's was another issue. They came to the conclusion that Ruby just take Anna to Bobby's would be better, because none of the others were going to risk Lilith's safety just to fit Anna in the car.

By the next morning, everyone arrived tired and hungry. As they were making their way down to the panic room, Ryder stopped. If she was right, then there would be trouble if she went down there. Dammit!

Sam saw her stop walking. "Ryder? Is everything okay?" He could tell something was bothering her, and wished that she would tell him.

Ryder wasn't going to let anyone know. She nodded. "Yeah, I'm just going to keep Lily up here with me while you guys do what you need to." She could see him wanting to protest. "Don't worry. I remember this from the show. Nothing bad is going to happen." She kisses him, and heads for the library. Before she leaves the room, she turns back. "Just for the sake of not wasting time, call Pamela; she'll help."

Sam joins the others even though he wanted nothing more than to stay with her.

* * *

Ryder sits at Bobby's desk watching Lilith play with her toys on the floor in front of her. She had so many things on her mind, and nothing was making her feel better. What would've happened if she went into the panic room with Lilith? Would they be able to get out? Would Ruby be able to tell what Lilith was? Was she really who she thought she was? She threw her hands up in defeat. Now that everyone was downstairs preoccupied with Anna, it would be a perfect time to try.

She stepped around the desk and picks up Lilith. She looks around one last time to make sure no one was there. Nothing. She takes in a deep breath, and whispers to her daughter, "Christo."

Ryder gasps at what she sees. Lilith's eyes for a brief moment turns black. She was right. Her daughter was a demon.

"Momma," Lilith mumbles, and puts her head on her mommy's chest and closes her eyes. Lilith could tell that something was bothering her mommy. She wished that her mommy wouldn't be sad anymore.

"It's okay, baby, mommy's here." Ryder soothes her. A million more thoughts invaded her mind. She closed her eyes, and wished that it wasn't true, but it was. Her daughter was a demon, and she had a feeling she knew who it was.

* * *

Pamela arrives and goes down to the panic room after saying hello to Ryder. A shiver went down her spine as she walks passed the room Ryder was in to go downstairs. _What the hell was that?_

Jenna goes upstairs to join Ryder. Something was bothering her, and she really wished she would talk to her. They talked about everything to each other before they came here, but now they hardly talked. She guessed that now that they had other people that loved and cared about them, there was no reason for them to be the only people that they talked to. She just wished that wasn't the case.

Even though Jenna loved Dean with all she had, she still loved Ryder just as much. She walked into the library and saw that Ryder was smiling.

"Ryder?" Ryder looks up at her from playing with Lilith. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She thought back to the situation that was going on in the basement. "Do you think this is all a good idea?" Ryder nods to the basement.

Jenna looked at her confused not knowing what she was talking about.

Ryder sighed. "You know what kind of problems that will happen which Anna causes. Do you really think it's a good idea that she get her grace back?"

"Those things only happened after the apocalypse started. Without that Anna would have no reason to go back to kill Mary and John. She would never know that Sam's Lucifer's vessel. It'll all come down to whether or not the apocalypse happens."

Ryder shook her head. "No, it comes down to whether or not I finish the trials."

"Speaking of which. What are you going to do about the second trial?"

They had been putting the second trial off for some time, because the closer they get to finishing the trials, the closer Ryder's death would come.

Ryder was thinking about the same thing. She knew she was going to complete all three, but the more she thought about it the more she realized she was going to die. She wasn't going to be here with Sam and Lilith when this was all done. Thinking of her life with Sam and her daughter made her think of the life she saw the brothers have. Remembering the timeline she saw, she realized that she couldn't stop doing the trials no matter how much she loved them.

"I don't know. I obviously won't be able to save Bobby since he hasn't died. So I don't know who I'm supposed to save."

"We'll think of something," Jenna said patting her knee. She just hoped that she was right.

* * *

Jenna went back down to join the others. She stepped inside just in time to see the lights shatter when Anna cried out. Everyone but her and Ruby were panicking. She wasn't too worried since this would all be over soon. She thought it was times like this where she wished she didn't know what was going to happen, because then she wouldn't be so bored. When she thought about it, she was glad she did, otherwise she wouldn't know what Ruby really wanted.

Jenna could see that Dean was worried about Anna. She thought back to the episode, and realized that this was the episode that Anna and Dean would've had sex. She felt herself grow angry with jealousy. If Anna tried anything, she was going to wish she never fell to begin with. She calmed herself down. She knew Dean wasn't the cheating type. He may have been with a lot of women, but once he found someone he was loyal. Besides Anna could try all she wanted, in the end Dean was hers.

Anna shot up from the bed looking incredibly calm. She looked at Pamela and thanked her.

"It was very helpful. I remember now," She said looking at everyone.

Dean didn't like that look very much. He had a feeling that whatever she was going to say wasn't going to be good.

"Remember what?" asked Sam.

"Who I am." Anna got up from the bed.

"I'll bite; who are you?" asked Dean.

"I'm an angel."

Yep. Dean was right, this wasn't good at all.

* * *

Ryder was making lunch for everyone. She knew that they would all be coming up any moment now. She heard the commotion downstairs and she realized that right about now Anna should've remembered who she was.

Ryder brings in sandwiches, soda, and chips for everyone. She feeds Lilith and waits.

Ten minutes later, everyone makes their way upstairs. Dean sees the food, and gives his silent thanks to Ryder and eats. He was a bit shocked at what they learned. Anna was an angel. A freaking angel! He really didn't like that. After meeting the other two angels who were complete assholes, he wasn't very inclined to meet another.

Anna could sense that everyone was uncomfortable around her, even more from Ruby.

"It's okay, I'm not like the others." Anna didn't want anyone to be weird around her, but she couldn't really blame them.

"I don't find that very comforting." Ruby says keeping her distance.

"Well, you could always leave." Ryder says looking up from her book. "It's not like we need you."

"Ryder," says both Sam and Jenna. Sam knew she didn't like Ruby, but he couldn't deny she was useful. Jenna on the other hand wasn't in the mood to break up the fight, since she would be only one who could pull her out. She was hoping that now that Sam was her husband, she could give that responsibility to him.

Ruby ignored them. She glared at her. Regardless if she was scared of Sam's whore, she wasn't going to back down when they were in a room with everyone else. She had to keep up appearances.

"If anyone isn't needed it's you. You've hardly done anything here, but get in the way." _In my way_ she wanted to say. Ryder heard those unspoken words. "So why don't you leave and let us grown ups get back to work!" Ruby yelled balling her fists.

Sam wanted to say something, but the look on his wife's face told him that nothing was going to happen.

Dean thought the whole situation was amusing. Finally! He was going to see Ryder in action. He just wished he had some popcorn. Oh well, he'd just have to settle with the food Ryder made them all.

Ryder chuckled. She set the book down marking her place. She stood up and walked up to Ruby. She smiled when she saw the fear in her eyes. Good.

"Do you want to try that again? I didn't quite believe that, did you?" Without waiting for an answer, Ryder went back to her place on the couch and continued her book.

Dean was seriously disappointed.

* * *

Anna went on explaining her fall. Jenna and Ryder tuned out the conversation. They had problems of their own. Jenna wanted this whole thing dealt with without having to worry about Anna making a move on her husband. She trusted Dean not to do anything, but she still had her insecurities. Ryder was thinking about the second trial. Who the hell was she supposed to save?

When they all came to the conclusion that they had to get Anna's grace back, Sam went on to explain what he found out about a meteor falling to earth about nine months before Anna would've been born. The plan was to set out early in the morning to look for the grace.

By nightfall, everyone settled in their respective rooms. Ryder turned over expecting Sam to be in the bed with her, but when she felt the side Sam should've been she felt nothing. She got out of bed, checking on Lilith from an old crib Bobby had and walked downstairs. She heard voices coming from the library that sounded like Sam's, and... Ryder wanted to yell out and burst in on them, but before she walked any further, she calmed herself down. _Remember the plan_.

"Sam, you know how. You know what you have to do," pushed Ruby.

Sam shakes his head. "No, I'm not doing that. Not anymore."

"Then you better hope that your angel gets her juice back." She walks off, but not before Ryder pulls her back.

"Keep trying to get him to drink blood, and I will kill you." Ryder grits her teeth. She was trying so hard to stick with her plan, but they were nearing the end, and she knew what would happen.

Ruby doesn't say anything, and just walks off. _We'll see about that._

* * *

Dean was sitting on the hood of his car, just thinking and drinking a beer. He couldn't believe what had been happening. He just wish things were normal for them. Just going from state to state killing monsters, then do it all over again. It may not be the greatest 'normal', but he enjoyed it. He didn't have to deal with angels, demons, seals, Lucifer. Dean didn't want to admit it, but he was really hoping that Ryder would be able to close off Hell.

A lot of their trouble would be dealt with without demons. He really wanted all this to be done and over with. Now that he had Jenna, should he continue hunting? He never pictured himself ever doing anything else, so could he stop? Would Jenna be okay with it if he still wanted to hunt? It was a lot to ask for, and even though he knew it would be selfish, hunting was apart of him. He doesn't regret marrying her, in fact it was the best thing he's ever done, he just wanted to continue to hunt and save lives. It was what he was good at.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Anna said walking up to him. She couldn't sleep, and she wanted to check up on Dean. She really liked him, and was incredibly happy that he was so caring when they were in the panic room.

"Why would you fall?" Dean asked taking a drink from his beer. "Why be one of us?"

"There are things here that angels would never understand. There's forgiveness, loyalty, love." She looked away. "It's why I would never want to go back."

"Feelings are overrated. Being an angel is a lot better. You guys are perfect, and powerful."

"I wouldn't say that." Anna moved slowly in between Dean's legs. They leaned into each other, inches away from the other's lips. Anna wanted so much to kiss Dean, and be one with him.

Dean stopped moving, and whispered, "I love Jenna." He didn't wait for her to say anything and got off the car. He turned and saw Sam standing there. Son of a bitch!

Sam watched the whole thing and was praying that Dean would do the right thing. He loved Jenna, and didn't want to see her get hurt, especially by his man whore of a brother. He wanted to yell at Dean as they were so close to kissing, but he smiled when his brother pulled back. Dean may have whispered it to Anna, but Sam heard it. He felt a little sorry for Anna when she looked heartbroken and disappointed.

"Got anything?" Dean asked.

"Yeah."

* * *

Jenna joined the boys in the library noticing that Ryder wasn't with them. She assumed that she went to bed. Jenna sat on the couch and listened to everyone talk about the possible location Anna's grace would be. Remembering the conversation from the show, she went to the kitchen to get some coffee.

Coming back in she heard just in time that they were all going to go to the location of a tree that was grown because of the angel's grace. She sighed. Maybe this wasn't something that was all that important, but it would save them a trip. She could always ask if they want to skip the trip to see a tree.

She shrugged her shoulders. Can't hurt to ask, so she did. The brother's looked at each other talking silently. One of these days, Jenna was going to ask them how they do it. Anna had no idea what the hell she was talking about, and there was no way Jenna was going to explain it to her. After all, it wasn't just her story to tell; the brothers and Ryder were involved.

Dean nodded for her to tell them.

"The tree would be there, and you'll find evidence that her grace was there, but it's gone."

"What do you mean?" asked Anna.

"It's already been taken." Jenna sat back on the couch sipping her coffee.

"By who?" Sam asked putting all the information away.

"Uriel. So instead of going to the tree, you can prepare yourselves against him."

* * *

The next afternoon, Jenna was making lunch for everyone before everyone went out to fight. Ryder was busy playing with Lilith in the library. Anna stepped into the kitchen and watched Jenna.

"How did you know Uriel took my grace?" she asked sitting down.

Jenna looked up at her, and sighed. "It's a long story."

"I like stories."

Jenna sighed. "It's not just mine to tell, so it wouldn't be right for me to tell you. Besides, I know you mean well, but I don't trust you."

Anna nodded her understanding. Ever since they all found out she was an angel, they've been kind of weird around her. "Because I'm an angel."

Jenna shook her head. "Because you're you."

Anna furrowed her brow in confusion. "What does that mean?"

She was starting to think she knew what happened last night with Dean. She may have once been an angel, but right now she was human. Which meant if Jenna knew what happened, she could get hurt.

"If everything ends well, nothing you need to worry about." With that said, she walked off in search of Dean.

* * *

That night, Dean had told everyone about his dream, and they all gathered to think up a plan. Dean didn't want to do it, but he wasn't going to let Sam die because of Anna. He may have wanted to keep her alive, but his brother was more important. Ryder had volunteered to stay at Bobby's to watch Lilith. She remembered the fight, and there was no way she was going to risk her daughter's well being.

Sam wanted her to be there with him, but had to agree that someone had to stay with their daughter. He smiled at that. He was already thinking of Lily as his own.

Jenna decided to go with them, because there was no way she was going to let Dean go without her.

Ryder walked up to Sam and embraced him. "You better come back." She knew that Sam would be okay, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something bad _could_ happen.

Sam kissed her on the top of her head, "I will."

Ryder turned to Dean and hugged him. "Be careful."

Dean really liked Ryder, so he hugged her back. "Always am."

Ryder watched them leave and went back to her daughter.

* * *

They all sat near the Impala having a beer. Dean was sad to see Anna go, but happy at the same time. Now he didn't have to worry about her trying to make a move. Normally he wouldn't have hesitated to do something, but he remembered what he had in front of him, and realized that's all he needed. He had a wife that he loved, a sister-in-law that he liked more each day, a brother who he'd die for, and a niece that was growing on him.

Sam was so damn curious about what Alastair had said about Dean, and he wanted nothing more than to ask him about it, but Hell was a sensitive subject for his brother.

"It wasn't four months you know," Dean said out of nowhere. He knew Sam heard, and even though he didn't want to talk about Hell, he knew it was time.

Sam looked at him confused. "What?"

Ryder and Jenna really didn't want to hear about it. It was hard watching it on TV, but to hear it in person was just terrible. When they first heard Dean talk about Hell to Sam, they cried along with Dean. They could see the pain that Dean went through in Hell and the pain that he was still going through. It broke their heart listening to it.

"Up here it was four months, but done there time's different. It was more like forty years."

Sam gasped. Forty years?!

"They sliced and carved and tore at me in ways that you... until there was nothing left. And then I would be whole again just so they could start in all over. And Alastair at the end of every day would come over and make me an offer. To take me off the rack if I put souls on, if I started the torturing. Every day, I told him to stick it where the sun shines. For thirty years, I told him, but then I couldn't do it anymore, Sammy. I couldn't. And I got off that rack. God help me, I got right off it, and I started ripping them apart. I lost count of how many souls." Tears roll down his cheek. "The things that I did to them." He shakes his head in disgust.

"Dean, you held out for thirty years. That's longer than anyone would have," Sam said. His heart was breaking for his brother. His brother went through so much, so much pain and suffering. _I should've tried harder to save him._ His eyes start to swell up with tears. 

At this point, Ryder holding Lilith in one arm, wraps the other around Sam. Sam hugged them back, since he couldn't hug his brother, he'd leave that to Jenna.

"How I feel... this... inside me... I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing." Dean cries and all he wants is for the pain he was feeling to go away, the memories to disappear.

Jenna lets a few tears go, but wants to be strong for her husband. She walks up to Dean and wraps him in her arms, and lets him cry it out. There wasn't much that she could do for him, but what she could do was be there for him and to love him. That's what he needed right now, and she was more than happy to do it.

Dean was so grateful yet sad. He was grateful that Jenna comforted him, but sad that she had to hear him. He didn't want to dump this out on her, but he guessed that was the point of being married. To rely on someone you love, and for them to be there for you when you need it. And that's what she was doing.

In everyone's, but Dean's, mind they thought the same thing; _Alastair, you're officially going to die!_


	14. Chapter 14

Ryder was feeling more and more awful as time went on, but there was no way she was going to say anything. She didn't need the boys to be worrying about her on top of the seals. She kept up appearances, but she could only hold out for so long until someone caught wind.

Why couldn't life work out for the boys? Why couldn't this just be a TV show? At least if it was a show, then Dean and Sam wouldn't have to actually be going through all this, only Jared and Jensen. And if Jared and Jensen were doing this, then it wasn't real. She sighed. She thought about the trials, and the fact that her life was going to end soon. Why couldn't they have come during season one? At least then she would've had more time with Sam, and a lot of this wouldn't have happened.

Jenna sat at the table, and watched as the boys looked for another hunt. She loved coming here, even though she didn't like season four all too much mostly because of Ruby. She hated that the bitch damaged the boys' relationship in more ways than one. She wasn't going to let that happen though. Dean loved his brother, and Jenna didn't want to see him get hurt if this all went south.

Dean went through newspapers in search of anything that looked like a hunt, until he came across one. He read it through and came to the conclusion that it was a hunt.

"Alright, I think I found us a hunt," Dean said giving Sam the newspaper.

Sam looked it over. "Guy beat his wife's brains out with a meat tenderizer?"

People these days. Sam looked to Ryder playing with Lily, and he couldn't picture doing that to her.

"Yeah, so start packing and let's go," Dean ordered packing his duffel.

Sam followed suit, and soon enough they were all ready and piling into the car.

* * *

Pulling into the motel, Dean and Sam headed to the office to check in. Watching the boys go in, Jenna unbuckled Lilith and went to wake up Ryder.

Jenna opened the passenger door, and when she examined Ryder she could tell that the trials were taking its toll on her much faster than it did to Sam. She frowned. She didn't want this to happen, because she knew what it would do to Sam. Not to mention, what it would cause when Lilith got older. She'll want to know about her mother.

Even though Ryder said for her to take care of her, she knew she wouldn't be able to do that. For one, now that she married Sam, he would be the one who would have to take care of her. And two, she would never be able to take the role as her mother. If she did have to take in Lilith it would most likely be as an aunt, nothing more.

Jenna shook her awake, and for just a quick moment you could see the sadness that she knew Ryder had been feeling for awhile in her eyes. Now that she was awake she quickly covered it with the usual mask she wore. As soon as she saw Lilith, she smiled.

Ryder climbed out and took Lilith from Jenna, and kissed her. "Hi baby."

Lilith doesn't say anything only putting her head on her chest. Ryder may not have shown it, but she was sad that this wouldn't last forever.

Sam and Dean walked back to the girls, and immediately Lilith put her arms out for her daddy. She loves her daddy very much, and she's very happy that he makes her mommy happy.

Sam is surprised by this. He looked at Dean and they both smiled. Dean couldn't help but feel a little jealous. His brother not only got a wonderful woman, but also a daughter. He turned to Jenna and smiled, and pictured having a child of their own. He never told anyone, but he really wanted a family of his own. He doesn't want the Winchester line to end with him and Sam. Looking at his beautiful wife, he couldn't help but believe that maybe it won't end with them.

Sam carried Lilith in the room, and she fell asleep on his chest. He never wanted this moment to end.

They all settled into their room with Ryder taking care of Lilith, Jenna and Dean taking a shower, and Sam putting on his suit. Him and Dean were going down to the prison to interview the husband that did the latest murder.

Dean came out of the shower and finished getting dressed. Both brothers made their way out after kissing their wife and daughter/niece.

* * *

During the interview, Bensen explained to them that he wasn't possessed at all. The sad part was he knew exactly what he was doing.

"We just want to know the truth," Sam said using his puppy dog eyes. Works every time, no matter who he was using them on. His secret weapon.

"Her name was Jasmine." Bensen finally gave in.

"She was a stripper?" asked Sam.

"Her name was Jasmine, what do you think?" remarks Dean.

"I didn't mean for it to happen. I don't even like going to strip bars." Bensen looked away thinking back to the night. "She came right up to me, and... I don't know, she was just perfect. Everything that I wanted."

"Well if you _pay_ enough, anybody will be anything." Dean clarifies. Sam couldn't help but agree. Money talks.

"Did your wife find out?" Sam asked.

Bensen shook his head. "No, she never found out."

Okay, both brothers were confused at this point. If she didn't know about the stripper, then why kill her? What's the point in doing it?

"Then why did you kill her?"

"Me and Jasmine were supposed to meet after it was done, but she never showed." He was such an idiot.

"You didn't mention any of this to the cops?"

Bensen looked at them like they were stupid. "What would that do? She didn't do it, I did."

* * *

This whole thing was confusing to them, and they were getting nowhere. They were getting tired of running around trying to figure it all out, so they both decided to go back to the room and think it over.

Ryder was taking a nap, and Jenna was watching Lilith. Sam kissed Ryder, but all she did was turn over with a smile on her face.

As the boys went over the case, they still came up empty. Jenna chuckled. The show sure did make it seem like it was easy to figure out what the monster was. After awhile she was getting annoyed that they still weren't close to the truth. She was wondering when Sam was going to say it.

Getting impatient, she said not looking away from the TV, "You know, it's almost like they were under some kind of love spell." 

Once she said this, both Sam and Dean stop talking and looked at her. She ignored their looks and fights very hard not to burst out laughing.

Dean snaps his fingers at Sam and smirks. "I was just about to say that."

Sam rolls his eyes, and thought it over. It did make sense. "Which caused them to become totally psychotic."

Dean couldn't help but feel really happy. Not that he would do anything about it, but he's been waiting for this moment. He's a guy and not to mention Dean Winchester.

"You seem pretty cheery Dean," Sam says noticing Jenna glaring at Dean.

"Strippers, Sammy. Strippers. We're on an actual case involving strippers. Finally."

Jenna clears her throat. Sam laughs at the look on Dean's face when he realized that he just said that out loud. He looked at Jenna.

"I love you honey." Dean tries to act innocent, but fails.

* * *

Driving up to the bar, Jenna got out. She would've stayed at the motel room with Ryder and Lilith, but she wanted to see the boys at work. Or it's because she wanted to see Dean squirm with her being there with him. He told her that he didn't mind her coming, but deep down he was a little nervous. No one could deny that Dean Winchester was a lady's man, not even Jenna. He loved her and wouldn't ever betray her, and she knew that, but he was still a guy.

Dean and Sam showed their badges to the bouncer and walked in. Jenna didn't need to show off any identification, because one look at her, and the bouncer just let her in. She was that gorgeous, and Dean felt proud that his wife was all his and no one else could ever have her.

She watched as Dean walked up to the manager and started questioning him. Jenna could tell that Dean was trying not to look, but he did. He felt guilty about it, but he figured that Jenna wouldn't be angry with him, or at least not too angry.

Jenna looked at the women dancing around on stage or with the men, and she couldn't help but feel disgusted. Not only just at the men, but at the women as well. She felt embarrassed for them. Sure these women had nice bodies, but damn didn't they at least have some dignity?

After he was done talking to the manager, they both saw Sam and caught up with him. Jenna remembered that this was the part where they finally figured out what was behind all this.

"Anything?" Dean asked making it clear that he came up with nothing.

"I think so. Bobby and I came up with a theory," Sam said shrugging his shoulders.

"What?"

"Siren."

"Like Greek myth siren, the Odyssey?" Sam gives Dean a surprised look. "Hey, I read!"

Jenna smiles and pats his back. "Of course you do sweetheart."

"Yeah, but the siren's not actually a myth, it's more of a beautiful creature that preys on men, enticing them with their siren song. You see, sirens can read minds. They see what you want most and then they can cloak themselves. You know, like an illusion."

"So it could all be the same chick? Morphing into different dream girls?" Sam nodded. "How do we kill it?"

Jenna walked with the boys back to the car listening to their conversation. She wanted to tell them who to look out for since it wouldn't be a woman they'll meet, but she held her tongue. They were told not to say anything unless it was important for them to know. Although she wanted to tell them, she didn't. For some reason, she couldn't remember the ending to the episode. She knew that she wouldn't like the ending, but she couldn't place her finger on what it was. She sighed. She'd have to ask Ryder later when the boys weren't around.

"Bobby's working on it. Even if we figure that out-"

"How the hell are we going to find it? It could be anybody."

This case just got more interesting, and frustrating. Why couldn't the monster just for once, wear a sign that said, 'I'm the monster, come kill me.'? At least then it would save them a whole bunch of running around.

* * *

After returning to the motel, Ryder went to take a shower now that Dean and Jenna were there to watch Lilith. Sam went to the diner a few blocks away. Jenna was on the bed watching TV and Lilith playing with her toys on the bed. She still couldn't place what was going to happen at the end of all this, and it bugged her to no end.

Dean wasn't as blind as Sam thought he was. He could tell that something was up with his brother, and he was going to find out. He looked at the table and saw a phone. It took him a moment to realize that the phone was Sam's. Jenna had hers, Dean's was in his pocket, and Ryder always kept hers with her. He got up and went to pick up the phone. Calculating the distance between the diner and the motel, he wouldn't have that much time.

Flipping the phone open he checked the call log, and came to an unknown number. He looked at Jenna and she was watching him. She walked up to him, just as he pushed call. They both listened to it ring, and just when they thought no one would answer, someone did. And it wasn't someone they were expecting. Not after all Sam and Ryder went through.

 _"Hey, Sam... Sam?... You there...?"_ Ruby said.

Dean hung up looking very upset. He couldn't believe that Sam was still talking to her! After he promised Ryder that he would listen to her when she said to stay away from her. By the way Ruby talked, he knew that Sam and her never stopped talking. How could he do this to her?! He suddenly felt so sorry for Ryder.

Jenna frowned when she heard Ruby's voice. _I thought he was done with her,_ she thought. She felt so sad for her best friend. She heard the door open, and she went back to Lilith. She looked at her husband and by the look they shared, they came to the conclusion that they wouldn't say anything to Ryder. After all, she had enough on her plate.

* * *

The next day, Sam and Dean took off to the hospital leaving the girls alone. Ryder was stressing out so much, so she asked Jenna if she could watch Lilith while she took a nap, or at least tried to. Her mind was thinking nonstop about the trials. The timing wasn't in her favors. If she was right, the season would be over soon, and that meant that she didn't have a lot of time left.

Remembering the episode, it didn't take long for the brothers to figure out who they were going to save. She didn't have that luxury. Bobby was still alive, and hopefully it would stay that way, but she had no idea who she was going to have to save in order to complete the trial. It's not like she could go to Hell and figure out who to save, and she didn't know who was innocent. What if she saved the wrong person, and the trial couldn't be completed?! What if she failed? She couldn't afford to fail.

Jenna looked at the bed that Ryder occupied and she frowned. Ryder wasn't asleep, and by the looks of it she wouldn't be going to sleep anytime soon. All her instincts told her to go comfort her friend, but her heart told her that Ryder needed time to herself to deal with everything. As much as she loved Ryder and wanted to be there for her like she did for her all those times her dad came home drunk, there were some things you couldn't do. Some things you had to let the person deal with, even though you wanted to help.

Ryder felt awful, and she was only getting worse. She wasn't sick anymore, but her body was getting weak. She wouldn't be able to keep this up forever. She had to hurry up and deal with the trials. She only had two more, and then it'll all be over, and she could finally rest. She felt a little guilty thinking that, because while she's resting in Heaven, her family would be down here fighting monsters.

She was happy that Sam was finally listening to her about Ruby. It took so much time to keep him away from her, and talking to her, but it was worth it. Now when the time came, Sam wouldn't be upset. She was happy that Sam meant it when he said he would listen. It's not like he's still talking to her, right?

* * *

Jenna suddenly remembered the ending to the episode! She had to get to Sam and Dean! She phone Bobby asking him if he was on his way, and he said he would be there in about an hour. There wouldn't be enough time. She grabbed her shoes and jacket and went for the door.

"Where are you going?" asked Ryder sleepily.

Dammit! Jenna forgot about them.

"Sam and Dean are going up against the siren. I need to go." She opened the door.

It took a moment for the words to sink in, and when they did Ryder bolted out of bed. She put on her boots, put her hair up, and grabbed Lilith. She had no choice but to bring her, even though she knew it would be dangerous.

Jenna saw what she was doing. She shook her head, "No. Stay here, and let me deal with it."

Ryder looked at her in disbelief. "And what then? By now, Sam and Dean should be under the siren's spell, and how are you going to deal with him then?" She put the baby carrier on her back with Lilith inside. She turned to look at Jenna. "No offense, but you can't fight, so how are you going to deal with this? Besides you're not the only one's whose husband is there!" She walked off leaving Jenna behind.

Ryder hotwired a car, and they drove off to motel the boys would be in. She had made it clear in the beginning not to go to the motel they would've been in hoping that this whole thing could be avoided. Obviously not.

* * *

The girls ran into the motel remembering the room, and just as they came up to the door they heard yelling.

_"You won't feel that way in a minute."_

Sam!

Ryder threw open the door feeling so much anger. She hated this part of the episode, not wanting to see the brothers hurt each other both physically and emotionally.

Sam and Dean were facing each other not even noticing the girls. All they were thinking about was getting rid of the other so they could be with Monroe forever. That's all they wanted.

"Who are you?" asked Monroe looking at their new visitors.

Ryder ignored him and got in between the brothers and faced her husband. She grabs his face, "Sam? Sam, look at me. You have to fight this!"

Sam doesn't pay any attention to her, and instead of listening to her he shoves her out of the way. Ryder loses her balance, but quickly regains it, when she remembered that her daughter was with her.

Jenna had no luck getting through to Dean either. Ryder looked around, and saw a corner that was far from the fight and the siren. She ran over and took the carrier off gently putting Lilith on the floor and out of sight.

''Baby, I need you to stay here. Don't move."

Lilith nodded her head showing that she understood to stay. Lilith didn't understand everything she was told, all she understood was that her mommy wanted her stay here. She looked at her mommy and could tell that she was upset. She turned and saw that her daddy was talking very loud at the other man. She didn't like the way her daddy was acting. Why was he mad?

Ryder turned around and saw the boys fighting. She groaned. Jenna didn't know what to do, so all she could do was yell at them to stop fighting. Ryder didn't see it working, so she tried to get them to stop by putting herself in the middle. It wasn't smart, but she didn't know what to do. She didn't have the weapon to kill the siren, so she focused on the boys.

Jenna didn't want to feel useless, so while Ryder tried to break up the boys, she went for the siren. Ryder was right back at the other motel that she couldn't fight, but that wasn't going to stop her from trying.

Monroe was enjoying the fight, but hated it when the blonde tried to get at him. Stupid woman. She wasn't that much of a fighter, so it would be easy to subdue her. He thought about that for a moment. What would be the fun in that? Before he would knock her out, he sprayed the toxin in her face. He smiled, and whispered something in her ear.

* * *

Ryder was pushed to the side by Dean, and although he didn't know what he was doing, it still hurt. Getting into a fight with someone was a lot easier than trying to break up one. She got to her feet, and when she went back to the brothers, Jenna got in front of her. She furrowed her eyebrows.

"Jenna?" The way she looked at her made it clear that Jenna wasn't all there anymore.

"You know, I always believed you were so pathetic," Jenna spat out. She took her stance in front of Ryder.

Ryder didn't like this one bit. "Jenna stop it! This isn't you. This is the siren's spell talking, not you."

"Keep telling yourself that." Jenna went to swing at Ryder, but it was easily deflected. Jenna growled. "Every time you came to my house, you complained and whined about your boyfriend beating you, and you could never see how pathetic and pitiful you looked."

Ryder wanted to cry hearing that, but now wasn't the time. Jenna kept insulting her, and trying to hit her. They didn't notice that Bobby had showed up.

* * *

Bobby showed up, and as soon as he killed the siren Sam and Dean stopped fighting. The problem was Jenna and Ryder's fight was still going.

"Shouldn't they have stopped?" asked Dean looking worried.

"The thing with Sirens is when they put the spell on a man it stops when it dies or when it takes it off themselves."

"We know that."

Bobby shook his head, he hated this part about the lore. "That's the thing, they usually put it on men, but with women the spell would only end when it plays out."

Sam didn't like hearing the things Jenna was saying to his wife. Hearing it all reminded him of what he said to his brother. He remembered everything he said, and the worse part of it all was him belittling Dean's trauma. He felt so ashamed, and he didn't mean any of what he said, but it didn't make it go away. He still said it.

Dean tried to stop Jenna from trying to hurt Ryder, but it didn't stop her from saying what she said.

"You were so stupid, and every time I looked at you it made me want to vomit. Complaining about how horrible your ex treated you, boo hoo, get over it. I would've rather been beaten by my father than listen to another word from you!" Jenna tried to break free from Dean, but he held on. He wished that she would just stop talking.

Ryder went to grab her daughter from the corner. She handed the carrier to Sam, and tried very hard to ignore her best friend. _It's just the spell. It's just the spell,_ she kept telling herself.

"Jenna stop it!" Dean yelled.

Sam held onto his wife and daughter; all he wanted to do was comfort her. Sam could see that Ryder was breaking. He just wanted the spell to end. Ryder stared at her friend listening to it all, and even though on the outside it seemed she wasn't fazed by it, inside her heart was breaking.

"All you ever do is look at me and think I'm weak and can't take care of myself. I was fine before you came along, and I'll be fine without you. I fucking hate you. You call yourself my friend, well fuck you. I DON'T NEED YOU!'' Jenna screamed.

Almost immediately she stopped fighting Dean, and she had a blank expression of her face. Sam and Dean sighed, knowing that the spell wore off.

Jenna looked at Ryder just staring at her. Everything she said came back to her full force, and she sank to her knees, Dean still holding her.

Ryder didn't know what to do with what she heard, and all she wanted right at that moment was to go back to the motel room and sleep. She didn't want to deal with Jenna's outburst tonight. 

Jenna watched as Ryder and Sam walked out, and all she did was cry. She remembered what she said, and she hated herself for it. She didn't mean anything she said. Dean shushing her, and holding her. He hoped that Ryder would forgive her, and remember that she didn't mean any of it.

* * *

Bobby didn't want to stick around any longer than he needed to. He just wanted to go home. There was a part of the lore he didn't mention, and hoped that the others would never know, especially the girls.

Ryder couldn't sleep, so she gave up. She carefully went to the kitchenette, and picked at the leftovers from dinner. She sat at the table, and looked at the others sleeping. She went back to her food, and didn't notice someone walking up to her. She thought it was Sam like last time, and she wasn't in the mood to talk to Jenna, so when she looked up she was stunned.

"Are you okay?" asked Dean. He pulled the chair around the table and sat next to her.

Ryder didn't answer for a few minutes. She shook her head.

"What's wrong?"

Sam and Dean had worked things out, and although Dean was still bothered by what his brother said, he let it go. Jenna and Ryder did the same, and after a lot of crying and begging for forgiveness, Ryder gave in. She told Jenna she forgave her from the beginning. She convinced Jenna that it was just the spell talking, and in the end Jenna believed her. There was no possible way that Jenna would ever mean those things.

Looking away from him, she sighed. "Lore goes that the siren would appear any way the man desired. The man would do everything he was told to be with her, even kill. He would say things he didn't really mean if the siren wanted him to. The siren would only put a woman under its spell if she got in its way. The spell would end when the woman said what she truly felt." A tear fell down her face. Dean could hear it in her voice that she sounded so broken. "So that means... Jenna didn't say anything she didn't already feel."

Ryder couldn't hold it in any longer, and she finally broke down. Dean held her as she cried, and wished that this didn't have to happen.


	15. Chapter 15

Ryder couldn't do this anymore. She had to just do it no matter how stupid it was. Ever since the siren case, she felt a little distant from Jenna. Not that Jenna noticed, if anything she thought Ryder was just stressing about the trials. Which was true on some level, but knowing how she truly felt about her, kind of hurt Ryder deeply. They have been friends for three years, and to find out that her best friend really hated her cut deep.

Dean noticed the way Ryder was acting, and although she hid it well he saw right through it. He knew the signs, after all he's been doing it for years, and it just made him feel that much bad for her. He still loved Jenna, and that would never change, but to see the way her words hurt Ryder was hard to see.

Sam came into the motel room on the phone, and by what he was saying it seemed he was talking to Bobby.

"What's up?" Dean asked looking up from Sam's laptop.

Sam kissed his wife and daughter, and frowned a little when he saw that she wasn't looking too good. He heard the shower on, and figured that Jenna was in there. He sat at the table with Dean.

"I just talked to Bobby. He found something in Wyoming." He takes the laptop from Dean, and starts typing. Dean makes a face, which Ryder giggles at. After a few minutes, he looks up at his brother. "It's a small town, and no one's died in about two weeks."

Dean looks at him not getting the connection. "Is that a bad thing?"

Sam explains the cases to Dean, while Ryder plays with Lilith. She kept thinking to herself that she had to do it, that there was no more waiting. As much as she loved her family, and wanted nothing more than to be with them this was something that she had to do. In the end, it'll be okay. She just had to survive it first.

Jenna came out of the shower, and when she looked at Ryder she couldn't help but remember what she said to her. No matter how many times she told herself or was told that it was the siren talking and not her, she couldn't help but think maybe it was. She couldn't help but get the feeling that there was more to it than what she was told, but if no one was talking than maybe it's nothing. She shrugged her shoulders, _oh well._

They all eventually packed up and started to hit the road to Wyoming. She didn't want to make it too obvious, but she didn't want to sit in the back with Jenna, so Sam offered to sit in the back with her and Lilith.

* * *

Coming to their new motel for the case, Ryder wasn't paying too much attention to the case the boys were working on, only focusing on her mission: the second trial. She would be lying if she said she wasn't scared. She was. She was scared that she would fail. Scared that she wouldn't be able to complete the trials. After this, one more and then it'll all be over.

The boys got dressed to go interview the man who was shot point blank, and when they left Ryder got dressed as well. She would need to leave as soon as they got back. She just didn't know how to tell them. Now that it was too late to stop her, they would have no choice but to let her go. As much as she didn't want to tell them about the second trial, she knew she had to. Sam was her husband, and that alone gave him the right to know everything she was doing. After all, this was important.

"Jenna?" Jenna looked at her from the TV, "Do you know what episode this is?"

"Yeah. This is where there aren't any reapers taking the dying." Jenna didn't know where this was going.

"Yeah, so I'm going to need you to watch Lilith for awhile. Make sure you protect her," Ryder ordered.

"Why?"

Ryder sighed. "It's time I did the second trial."

Jenna didn't know what to say for a few moments. "Do you know who you have to save?"

They haven't talked much about who they had to save in order to complete the trial.

Ryder shook her head. "No, but time's running out. If I wait to find out who I have to save, it'll be too late. Not to mention I still have one more trial to do."

She was right, and Jenna knew that. After some time just staring everywhere but each other, Jenna nods her head.

"Okay, but you better come back. We all need you here," Jenna says with a sincere looking smile.

After thinking back to the siren, Ryder had a hard time believing her. She put on a smile that looked incredibly convincing. She had years of practice, and it never failed her. In the past, Jenna could see through all the false smiles and masks, but now she was just like everybody else. And in Ryder's book, that wasn't a good thing.

* * *

A couple hours later, and the door opened to Sam and Dean. They looked a little tired, and they began taking off their coats. Sam was taking off his jacket when he saw that Ryder was getting dressed.

"Going somewhere?" Sam asked throwing his jacket over a chair. Dean heard that and looked at Ryder as well.

Ryder took a deep breath. "I have to do the second trial now. Time's running out."

Sam was afraid of this. It had been awhile since the topic of the trials have been brought up. It had been several months since his wife had done the first trial.

"What is it?" asked Dean.

"I have to rescue an innocent soul and deliver them unto Heaven." Ryder was running out of clean shirts, so she grabbed one of Sam's button ups to put over her tank top.

"How are you going to rescue an innocent soul? From where?" asked Dean.

She wasn't ready for this part. "From Hell." Sam and Dean couldn't breathe at that point. "I have to go to Hell and save an innocent soul."

"Are you freaking kidding me?! You have to go Hell? That's insane!" Dean yelled.

She was expecting that from him, after all just at the beginning of all this Dean had just come from there.

Sam shook his head, "No, you're not going to Hell." He couldn't believe this. Why would they make the trial going to Hell?

"I'm going. I have to do this, because no one else is going to." Before Dean could say anything, she put up her hand to silence him, "And I'm not letting you wait four years to try to do this." _It's not like you'll do it anyway._

"It's dangerous, and you could get hurt." Why couldn't she understand?

Ryder finished tying up her boots, and put her hair up with her bandana. "I understand that, but this is important. If I don't do this, do you have any idea what damage leaving Hell open would cause the world? What it could cause you two?" She shook her head. "No, I'm not letting it happen!"

After twenty minutes of constant arguing, the boys finally gave in. Dean had offered to go with her since he'd been to Hell, but Ryder told him he was needed here; besides he spent forty years down there, no way was she going to let him go back. Sam would need him for the case anyway. She was given the knife to help her fight against anything she would come across.

* * *

Everyone drove her to an area for taxis, and a full thirty minutes passed before they found a reaper. The conversation had gone down similar to the show. The reaper knew who the Winchesters were, and surprisingly he knew who Ryder and Jenna were. According to him, they were building a reputation, and none of them knew if that was a good thing.

Before the reaper would take Ryder, she pulled Sam to the side. She kissed him as if it would be their last kiss. Sam didn't know why but he could feel the goodbye in the kiss, and he fought back the tears that wanted to be released.

"You better come back. Our daughter's going to need her mother."

Ryder nodded not trusting her words. She turned her attention to Lilith in Jenna's arms.

Lilith reached for her mommy. She could see that her mommy was sad, and wanted her to feel better. Why was she so sad?

Ryder held her, and kissed her forehead. "I'll come back baby."

She gave her to Sam, and hugged Dean and Jenna. She walked up to the reaper.

The reaper held out his hand to Ryder which she took. She pulled out the knife, and watched as she was taken to Purgatory. Somewhere she hoped that Dean and Sam would never have to go. The sight before them cleared up, and Ryder recognized it as Purgatory. Her heart was pounding so hard, and she was terrified.

"Okay, you have twenty four hours to do what you have to do and get back to this spot. If you're not here in that time, I'm gone." He pulled out a watch and gave it to her. He pointed to a direction in front of her, "Walk that way, and you'll come across a tree with a boulder in front of it. That's your way into Hell." With nothing else to say, he vanished.

Ryder put the watch on her wrist, and started walking mumbling about no one knowing how to say goodbye anymore.

* * *

Dean and Sam walked into the room followed by Pamela. Jenna looked up from feeding Lilith.

"You know this has to be a very stupid plan. You do realize that, right?" she asked sitting on the bed.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yes, we know but we need to do it."

Pamela scoffs. "And which of you dumbasses came up with astral projection?" She looked at them waiting for one to fess up. When Dean raised his hand, "Of course."

Jenna may have been hanging out with Ryder too much, because she felt like she was picking up on her anger. Watching Pamela talk down at the boys especially her husband was seriously pissing her off. She bit her tongue, because she knew the boys needed her.

"This is crazy. Even more crazy since you two idiots don't know what you're doing."

Dean was really getting pissed off. "No, but you do."

"Yeah, I do. Guess what? I'm sick of being hauled back into your angel-demon crap." Dean gives her a look, and after a moment she gives in.

The boys laid on the beds, and as soon as she said the spell, the boys saw that they were in the spirit world.

Just before the boys left to go find the reapers, Jenna spoke out. "Dean, don't even think about feeling up Demi Moore."

Even though Dean and Sam knew she couldn't see them, it was still weird that Dean was just about to say that. Oh well.

* * *

Ryder walked carefully but quickly. Thinking about actually being in Purgatory, she realized that the Leviathans were still here. Castiel hadn't taken them yet. Dammit.

She checked her watch; she had been walking for four hours now. She kept thinking that maybe she went the wrong way. She caught sight of a few monsters in front of her, and she wasn't in the mood for fighting, so she hid behind a tree. When they were far enough, she looked around for any more. Nothing. Ryder stepped out and saw the tree, finally!

She ran up to the tree and struggled to move the huge rock. "Oh my god, fucking Supernatural!" She pushed harder. "They make this look so easy." The rock finally toppled over, and she had to bend over to catch her breath.

She looked into the hole, and took a deep breath, and she was pulled in. Once inside, Ryder looked around... no one. She remembered what Sam did, but she needed the watch. She had to use something. That's it! She stuffed the knife into her waistband and pulled off her bandana. She tied it around a nail that was sticking out of the wall. It wouldn't stand out to alert anyone, but just enough for her to see it.

Ryder pulled out the knife, and began to walk. How would she be able to tell who was innocent, and who wasn't? The more she walked, the more sick she was becoming. The show seriously did not do this place justice. The place looked even more graphic than the show made it out to be. Blood was all over the walls and floors. The smell was disgusting, and the those few who were chained up to the wall looked beyond tortured. Even with Heaven the way it was, she would picked that over this any day.

She walked down hall after hall, and she came across so many damaged and guilty souls. No one seemed innocent. She was about to turn down another hall when she came to a cell. She felt drawn to it. She looked around, and walked up to the door. She held the knife ready in case whoever was inside decided to attack. She looked through the bars, and what she saw completely shocked her to her core. Peering closer to the occupant, she gasped.

The occupant turned around, and looked at her completely scared. This had to be trick, right?

"Jessica?"

* * *

Dean and Sam walked around watching people go about their daily lives never knowing that there were two ghosts walking around close by.

They came across Cole Griffith's home, and went inside. Convincing the boy that he was a ghost went a lot easier than they thought it would be. Sam felt really bad for the kid seeing his mother crying but could never speak to her. Must be lonely. Being close to someone you love yet could never be with them again.

Cole explained to them about the reaper that came for him, and all of a sudden they all see a reaper enter the home and head upstairs. As they walk up to the bottom of the steps they see a woman come downstairs.

Realizing that Dean didn't recognize her, she leaned up to him closing the distance between them and kissed him. Dean may have liked that at one point, but now that he was married, he felt a little guilty. He hoped that Jenna wouldn't be too angry with him.

When they broke apart, Dean remembered who she was and instantly tensed up. "Tessa."

"You guys know each other?" asked Sam who was incredibly confused.

Dean explained the incident at the hospital a couple years ago when their dad died. He didn't really like thinking about that, because for one he almost died, and another it was a reminder of what his dad did for him.

It took awhile convincing Tessa not to take the kid, at least not yet. She wasn't all too interested in the affairs of hunters. All she wanted to do was her job by trying to get the kid to come with her, and move on to the next person. She hated it when something got in the way of her job.

Cole wasn't too happy with being told that it wouldn't be a good idea for him to stay, and ran up to his room. Sam offered to go talk to him leaving Dean and Tessa downstairs.

"Heard you got married. Congratulations," said Tessa.

Hearing her say that, it almost sounded like she actually meant it. Dean wasn't fooled. Nonetheless. "Thanks."

"What's her name?" Tessa didn't really care about any of that, she just didn't like the awkward silence.

"Jenna."

Sam came back downstairs with Cole, and he had the kid tell Dean and Tessa about the black smoke that was seen at his funeral. Deciding that it was demons, the door burst open and the black smoke came in surrounding everyone. When it left, Tessa was gone.

Learning how to do what ghosts did was a lot harder than it looked. Cole didn't waste time making fun of them, taking every opportunity to show off. As soon as they got the basics down, the boys set off to the location the demons were.

* * *

Pamela sat at the table watching the TV, not bothering to start up a conversation with Jenna, which she wasn't too angry about. Watching her on the show and being with her in person, she could see the difference. She was more of a bitch.

Jenna sat at the bed with Lilith, and out of nowhere both women heard a creaking noise somewhere in the room. Pamela quickly got up, and Jenna holds onto Lilith not wanting her to be left alone. If she did that and Ryder ever found out, she would never hear the end of it.

Not seeing anything, both women relaxed not even realizing that a demon in the veil was already in the room.

* * *

Ryder stood there staring at Jessica feeling both very pissed and sad. Here she was with this woman's old boyfriend, and she was in Hell this whole time. That's not right! She was supposed to be in Heaven, not here.

She sighed. Ryder opened the door, but not before making sure that there weren't any demons around to stop her. She closed the door leaving it open enough not to get locked in.

Jessica watched as a woman walked up to her, and she pressed herself up against the wall. She had enough of people coming in here and torturing her. She just wanted it to stop.

"Jessica?" Ryder said gently. She could see terror in the woman's eyes. "My name is Ryder, and I'm here to help you." She didn't want to scare the woman anymore than she already was.

Jessica shook her head, and slumped in the corner trying to make herself look small. She was so tired of hearing the demons come in here pretending to want to save her, and then having it ripped away from her.

Ryder bent down in front of the woman. She checked her watch, she groaned. She was running out time. Wandering around the halls trying to find someone to save took a lot of time. She had about eight hours to get back.

"I know Sam Winchester."

Hearing Sam's name, Jessica looked up at her. She missed him so much, and wished that she could see again, and not the Sam Winchester the demons posed as.

Seeing the hint of happiness at the mention of her husband's name in her eyes, Ryder breathed a sigh of relief.

"You don't belong here, and I'm here to take you to where you _do_ belong." She stood up and held out her hand for Jessica to take.

Jessica looked at the offered hand, and she so desperately wanted to believe that what the woman said was true. She had been here for so long, and all she wanted was for the pain to end. She thought about it and came to the conclusion that even if she wasn't telling the truth and that it was all a lie, she wouldn't have anything to lose. She smiled and took her hand. She saw the woman smile at her and for the first time in so long, she felt something she thought she would never feel again: hope.

* * *

The demon came out of nowhere, and Pamela quickly runs to Sam. "...vis vis vis."

The demon grabbed her, and she kicked him getting out of his grip.

Although she wanted to help Pamela, her top priority was Lilith. She ran to the bathroom and hides her in the bathtub. She checked the window to make sure the salt was in place. She closed the door, and poured salt in front of the door. She turned around and as she did the demon stabbed Pamela. She ran to her side helping her lay on the bed.

Sam woke up and then exorcised the demon. He didn't really think about the fact that he promised that he was done with his powers to Ryder. Hopefully she'd understand that this was important.

* * *

Dean and Tessa went back to Cole's house. They both walk up to him and watch as he looked at his mother. The atmosphere in the room shifts; you can feel the sadness in the air. All Dean wanted at that moment was to go back to his brother and wife. He didn't want to be there, because he knew what was to come.

Cole heard them behind him, and was so sad. He didn't like seeing his mother upset. It pained him to constantly watch her cry. A part of him wanted to move on, but he didn't want to leave his mother. What if she needed him? He turned to look at Dean and the Reaper.

"Tell your brother thanks... for nothing," He said miserably. He felt stupid for thinking that he could stay here with his mom.

Dean looked away in shame remembering what his brother said to the kid to get him to help them. It was even worse when he knew what would happen if the kid were to stay.

Tessa looked at Dean and felt a little bad that he had being talked down to for what his brother had to do. She sighed.

"Cole, look at your mother." He does, and frowns. "Do you see how unhappy she is? As long as she can feel you, she'll feel pain. She'll always be unhappy because she can't let go."

Cole looked back at her.

Dean stepped up and said sadly, "You need to let her go, so both you and your mom can move on. You don't belong here anymore."

Deep down Cole knew they were right. Even though he loved his mom, he felt sad. Not about the fact that he died, of course he felt sad about that, but it was something else that he didn't know.

"What'll happen?"

* * *

Ryder and Jessica walked down the same path she came from. No one spoke, because no one knew what to say. What do you say to your husband's old girlfriend who has spent four years in Hell? What do you say to a stranger who came out of nowhere wanting to rescue you?

Recognizing the area, Ryder knew that they were getting close to the exit. Her blood was pumping, and all she wanted to do was get out of there. Not a place she wanted to be any longer than necessary, especially since she was still alive.

She pointed to the exit, and Jessica was so full of hope that she was getting out, all she thought about was running to get the hell out of there.

Both were so focused on getting out, neither noticed two demons creeping up on them. Ryder noticed them too late, and was shoved up against the wall. She fell to the floor, and saw the other demon grab Jessica. She realized that Ruby's knife wasn't in her hand anymore, and saw it across the floor near the demon holding Jessica. _Maybe that guy was right, maybe they should start putting their weapons on bungees._

The demon that shoved her went to kick her, but she moved just in time. She rose to her feet quickly, and dove for the knife and stabbed the demon just in the nick of time. Killing the first demon was easy, trying to kill the demon that had his grip on Jessica was going to be a little tougher.

"Let her go!" She yelled holding the knife in a defensive posture. She didn't have time for this. They needed to get going.

The demon smirked. He didn't say anything only just backed up, pulling Jessica with him. Jessica was really terrified. She had spent so many years being tortured by these demons, and she was so close to getting out. She was already dead, and there was no way she was going to let the other woman get hurt because of her.

Jessica shook her head. She fought very hard against the tears that she just wanted to let go. "It's okay, go. Thank you for trying but it's not worth it." 

Ryder scoffed. _What is up with the people in this show being so self sacrificing?_ Still looking at the demon she said, "I'm not leaving without you." 

"Listen to her. Walk away if you know what's good for you," He spat out.

"If you're so sure you can win, why don't you fight someone who can actually fight back? Or are you too chicken shit to fight me?"

The demon threw Jessica to the floor. He stood in front of Ryder and the fight broke out. Well it wasn't much of a fight. The demon didn't know what he was doing. He got too cocky and that was his downfall. Ryder stabbed him in the chest. As soon as she killed him, a loud siren went off.

Ryder helped Jessica up, and they both looked up. "Okay, that wasn't in the show," Ryder said looking around.

Jessica looked at her confused. "Show?"

Ryder waved her off. "Nevermind. We have to go, now!"

They ran for the exit, and just as they were pulled out, Ryder grabbed her bandana. They made their way out and began walking.

They walked for about an hour silently. Jessica really wanted answers, and she wasn't going anywhere until she got them. Not that she wasn't grateful for the woman helping her, she just needed to know what was going on. She stopped and crossed her arms.

Ryder looked back at her, "What's wrong?"

"Why did you save me? Who are you?"

Ryder checked her watch. Damn. They only had three more hours. She rubbed her forehead in frustration. "My name is Ryder Winchester, and I'm here to save you because I'm trying to close the gates of Hell forever." No time to beat around the bush.

Whatever Jessica was expecting her to say, that wasn't even close. Something she said caught her attention. "Winchester?"

"Look I'll explain everything, but we need to keep going." Jessica walked with her.

Ryder kept her word, and explained as much as she could leaving out of the show. Jessica was quiet throughout it all. At first it made no sense, but the more she listened the more it made some sense. Hearing about the trials freaked her out, but she had to give the girl some credit.

"So you married Sam?" Jessica was a little jealous, because when she was still alive all she did was imagine herself married to Sam. She loved him so much, but in the end she was glad that he found someone that made him happy. She was afraid that he wouldn't find someone.

"Yes, and it was the best thing I ever did." Ryder felt a little bad that Jessica was going to marry Sam, and here she was talking about her marrying him.

Jessica and Ryder stopped. They heard yelling off in the distance, and when they looked back they saw hundreds of monster running at them. Their hearts began pounding in their chest. Jessica was beyond scared.

Not wanting to waste any time, Ryder pulled out the knife, cut her arm and had Jessica do the same. They held arms, and just before Ryder said the spell, Jessica looked at her.

"Ryder, I'm glad Sam has you." Ryder smiled a little and looked at the monsters getting that much closer. "Tell Sam, thank you. Despite me dying our time together was the best time of my life. Given the choice, I would've done it all over again." Ryder nodded that she would tell him. "Take care of the man we love."

Ryder said the spell, and Jessica's soul went inside Ryder's arm.

Not wanting to stand there for a moment longer, she ran off. Normally she would've stayed and fought, but there were two problems with that. One, she was running out of time, and two there were way too many. She may be a great fighter, but even she knew she wouldn't be able to take down that many.

Glancing behind her, she could see that she was being chased by vampires, shapeshifters, werewolves, and even some Leviathans. She must really be hated if monsters of different types were ganging up just to kill her.

She checked her watch, and saw that she had three minutes left, and she wasn't close to the spot she had to be at, and worst of all she was getting tired.

Still running and her time almost out, she saw the reaper standing there waiting. She looked at her watch and she had twenty seconds left and by the looks of it the reaper was getting ready to leave.

"WAIT!" she yelled.

The man looked up at her, and he was starting to fade. Checking her watch, she realized she had ten seconds left. She really didn't want to be left here. 8... She couldn't let Jessica down. 6... She had one more trial to do. 4... The monsters were getting closer. 2... She began to cry; she didn't want to die, not like this. Ryder jumped into the reapers arms, and they both fell to the ground. And by the looks of it they were back to the land of the living. Ryder's head slumped to the ground in relief, and the emotions were too much and she let go. The reaper still holding her.

* * *

Pamela sat on the edge of Dean's bed, one hand to the stab wound leaning on the other.

"All we have to do is talk to Tessa and have her hold off on reaping you," Sam said.

Pamela smirked and shook her head, "I think she's started up again."

Sam looked at her confused, and then down at her hand. His eyes widen when he saw blood pouring out.

Dean took a deep breath and sat up. Jenna moved to his side leaving Lilith on the bed. Dean looked at Pamela, and went to her aid. "What happened?"

Pamela looked around the room, and when her eyes landed on Lilith she frowned. _That's what that was._

"Pamela, I'm so sorry," mumbles Sam. "You don't deserve this."

"Yeah, you know what, I don't. I told you I didn't want anything to do with this!" Pamela starts coughing up blood.

Jenna didn't know what to do. She was hoping that this would have been avoided. She thought about the episode that showed Pamela happy in Heaven. Maybe she was always meant to go.

"If it's any consolation, you're going to a better place," Jenna said.

Pamela looks up at her, "You're a terrible liar, but what the hell, right? Everybody's got to go sometime." Pamela looked at Sam. "Come here." Sam leaned in closer. Pamela whispers," I can feel what's inside of you, Sam. If you think you have good intentions, think again." She coughs again. She leaned back against the headboard, a trickle of blood coming out of her mouth, and is still.

"Pamela?"

Her head slides down.

"Pamela!" Dean yells. No matter if they didn't know her for very long, he still looked at her as a friend. Why did his friends have to keep dying? Dean looked at Sam, "What did she say to you?"

Sam looked away in shame. It was bad enough that he used his powers, it was worse when he was called on it. Did he really have to tell his wife? He scoffed. Of course he did.

* * *

Sam, Dean, Jenna, and Lilith went back to the place they last saw Ryder. As they were walking, Sam saw Ryder sitting against the wall. Sam ran up to her, and he saw that she was sleeping. By the looks of her face, she was badly worn out. He picked her up, and brought her back to the Impala.

Dean drove them back to the motel they stayed at. He looked in the rear view mirror, and saw his brother holding his wife. Whether it was for her comfort or his he didn't know. He felt really bad for her, since he had been to Hell. He could only imagine what she had to go through. He hoped that all the trouble she went through to save someone, that she actually did it. He didn't want to think about her having to do all that again.

Pulling into the motel parking lot, Dean and Jenna got out. Jenna knew what her best friend had to do to complete the second trial, and she hated it. All of this, because of her love for the boys.

Ryder could feel the Impala stop, and although she didn't want to wake up she knew she had to. Jessica's soul was still with her. She had planned on releasing her when the reaper left, but she was too tired. Sam helped her out, and was pulling her to their room, but Ryder got of his grip.

"You need to rest," Sam reasoned.

"I have to release her soul first." Ryder took out the knife, and cut her arm. It was a good thing no one was around to watch. Everyone gathered around her, and watched as the soul within her arm came out and slowly rose.

"Whose soul is that?" asked Sam still looking.

Everyone was captivated at the beauty of the soul. It was a beautiful ball of energy. "Jessica's," Ryder whispered.

A few tears dropped down Sam's face, and they all watched as her soul went to Heaven.

Ryder didn't care if the brothers heard her say the spell, because right now she just wanted to sleep. She whispered the spell nonetheless, and braced herself for the pain that shot through her arms. She fell to her knees crying out from the pain. It was even worse than the first time and lasted longer.

Sam held her and when she stopped crying out, he looked at her and saw that she passed out. _Probably for the best,_ he thought. He carried her in, and placed her on the bed.

They all fell asleep, and the last thing that went through Ryder's mind was: one more trial.


	16. Chapter 16

Days passed after the second trial, and Ryder was feeling more and more like shit. She felt so weak, but at the same time she felt that she could keep going. She had to for she had no choice. She had one more trial to do, and then it'll all be over.

Telling Sam what Jessica had said was a little hard for her to do, because she was always a sensitive subject for Sam. Maybe not so much by season six, but still. When she finally told him, she felt better and happier when she saw the look of pure happiness in his eyes.

* * *

"Sam what's wrong?" asked Ryder sitting on the bed in their motel room.

Dean heard her words and looked up from cleaning his guns. Jenna was in the shower.

Sam shook his head. "I don't understand." He looked her in the eyes. "Why would Jessica be in Hell to begin with? She was such a good person. I would've expected her to be in Heaven when she died."

Ryder wanted to kick herself for not mentioning that. She had asked that very same question, but it had slipped her mind when she passed out. She cleared her throat. "I know why."

Dean and Sam looked at her waiting for her to answer. She didn't like the information she was given when she asked that herself. They deserve to know. She took a deep breath.

_(Flashback:)_

Ryder's head slumped to the ground in relief, and the emotions were too much and she let go. The reaper still holding her. Minutes went by and they were both still laying there, but Ryder was feeling better and stopped crying. The reaper helped her to her feet.

"I must be going now. Stay here and wait for your family to come back." He turned to walk away, when he felt her grab his arm. He looked at her, and she looked so sad.

"What's wrong?" He normally didn't care about the well being of humans, but for some reason he felt genuine concern for this woman. _Dammit, I'm going soft,_ he said to himself.

"Why was she in Hell?" she asked quietly. She was so tired, and all she wanted to do was sleep, but this had been bothering her ever since she saw Jessica in the cell.

The reaper sighed. "Jessica Moore was in Hell, because she knew Sam. Azazel not only had her killed because she was getting in the way of Sam's destiny, but he also made sure she wouldn't be taken to Heaven. It would be the ultimate punishment for Sam for going astray."

Ryder looked at him, "How do you know that?"

He looked away. "Because I'm the one that reaped her." He looked back at her, and he no longer saw sadness in her eyes, but anger.

Ryder yanked her hand back not wanting to touch him. "You took an innocent soul to Hell because of who she knew?!"

She didn't wait for an answer, and punched him in the face. Since he wasn't expecting it, he went down. She was breathing hard, and it took all her strength and will power to force down her anger. She wasn't going to let it out. _No, I'm in control. It doesn't control me!_

He rose to his feet, and walked away. "Good luck Ryder," He called back.

_(End Flashback)_

Sam felt so terrible. It was bad enough that she was killed because of him, it was even worse to know she was taken to Hell because of him. He wanted to be alone, so he grabbed the car keys and left.

Dean and Ryder watched as he left the room. Dean felt so bad for his brother, and wanted to console him but what do you say to that? How do you comfort someone in this situation?

* * *

Time went by, and Jenna was wondering when Ryder would do the third trial. If she really thought about it, the third trial would be a lot easier than the other two. All they had to do was find some demon, and cure it. Easy. So what was she waiting for?

Jenna may be a blonde, but she wasn't stupid _._ She's been noticing that her and Ryder's relationship hadn't been the same. Not since the siren. Maybe Ryder hasn't forgiven her like she said she did. She really didn't mean any of the things she said. It's not like she could do anything about it now. There were more important things to deal with than their relationship.

Moving on to a new motel, a flutter of wings were heard by the door. They all turned their attention to their visitor. Or in this case visitors. Castiel and Uriel. By the look on their faces, whatever they were going to say wouldn't be good.

"What do you want?" asked Dean very tired.

"We have captured Alastair," answered Castiel like it was enough.

Dean set his bags on the bed, "And?"

"We've come to his student. You happen to be the most qualified interrogator we've got," sneered Uriel.

Dean looked quickly at Castiel. They can't be thinking that, right? No way in hell was he going to do this. "No. No way. You can't ask me to do this, Cas. Not this."

Jenna remembered this, and this wasn't good. Ryder got up from the bed, standing in front of Lilith. She knew this episode, and she wasn't looking forward to this. In her opinion, this episode did so much damage to Dean that is wasn't even funny. This couldn't be happening!

Uriel walked swiftly to Dean, and just before he went to touch him, Ryder stood in front of Dean. "You're not taking him. Either you leave him alone, or your secret gets out."

Uriel was getting really fed up with this woman. He wasn't going to let some whore get in his way. He grabbed her shoulder, and threw her against the wall. As soon as she hit the wall, Uriel, Castiel and Dean were gone.

* * *

Jenna was in a full out panic mode. She remembered this episode and it wasn't one of her favorites. This wasn't going to do any good for Dean, and now he's gone! She prayed with all her might that this wouldn't happen, but it did. What good was it to know what would happen if she couldn't use her knowledge to help the man she loved? She had to do something, and she had to do it now!

Sam waited for his wife to come to, and all the while thinking of Dean. He loved his brother, and he thought the world of him, but he couldn't help think that ever since he came back from Hell, he wasn't like how he was before. He seemed more fragile. Sam felt angry with himself for even thinking of it, but he couldn't help but think that Dean wouldn't be able to do it. Dean wasn't the same man he was before, and maybe even a little soft. He hated to say it, but Dean was too weak. He needed help, and Sam could do that, but sadly he needed someone's help for it. Someone he promised he wouldn't see anymore.

Ryder was coming to, but she didn't open her eyes. She needed a moment to herself, and she wouldn't get it if she were to make it known she was awake. _Okay, Dean is told to torture Alastair, but Uriel would mess it up. Sam goes to Ruby, drinks blood, and uses his power._ She internally growled at the thought of that bitch! She didn't like it, but she also felt angry with Sam. He knows about his promise, but he'll still go. She opened her eyes, with one goal in mind: Get Dean back at any cost!

* * *

Sam had left the room saying he was going to the store, and pulled out his phone. Even though he didn't want to, he had to call her.

Jenna was pacing back and forth, thinking of what to do to get her husband back. Everything kept coming back to Castiel. He was getting closer to Dean, so he might be able to help. If she thought about it, he would definitely help if she were to tell him who was killing the angels.

Watching her husband leave the room brought so much disappointment to Ryder, and it hurt her. She loved Sam, she really did, but she was getting very angry with him. At this point, she couldn't stop him from going to Ruby, but she could stop him from interfering. She wasn't going to let him damage whatever self esteem Dean had.

Going back to the episode, Ryder had to take a few a deep breaths to get her anger under control. She didn't want to admit it, but she wasn't going to be able to control it forever. Jenna looked at her friend, and her heart skipped a beat. This was what she feared would happen. Jenna ran to Ryder and embraced her.

"Calm down, Ryder. It's going to be okay. We'll get Dean back." Jenna rubbed her back.

Ryder's body was shaking. "He's calling her," she said through clenched teeth.

"I know, I'm sorry, but we can't do anything about that right now. We need to help Dean."

Ten minutes went by, and Ryder was finally back to herself. Both girls weren't fooled that it went away. In all honesty, it was just a matter of time. They just hoped that it wouldn't happen anytime soon.

* * *

Sam came back into the room, and freaked out when he didn't see any of the girls. Did something happen? Were they kidnapped? He ran into the room, and checked the bathroom. Nothing. He looked around, and saw that a few of Jenna's and Ryder's things were gone. He felt like he could breathe again. If those things were gone, then that meant that the girls took them and left. But why? Why would they leave? He sighed. Maybe it was for the best. After all, Ruby was on her way. He wasn't in the mood to deal with Ryder yelling at Ruby.

An hour went by, and any thought of the girls and his daughter went out the window when he heard knocking. He opened it, and in came Ruby.

"Sam, I'm not exactly dying to tangle with angels again." She sat on the bed.

"I need you to find out where they took Dean." Sam wasn't up to wasting any more time. His brother needed him.

"Not sure I see the problem."

"He can't do it."

"Look, I get it. You don't want him going all torture master again."

"No. I mean, he can't do it. He can't get the job done. Something happened to him downstairs, Ruby. He's not what he used to be. He's not strong enough."

"And you are?"

"I will be." Sam ignored his wife's voice in his head telling him to stop.

* * *

Ryder carrying Lilith, walked alongside Jenna. She felt bad about not at least leaving a note for Sam, but this was important. If she stayed, she would have gone off at him for calling Ruby, then she probably would have killed her, and that wouldn't be good; at least not yet.

_(Flashback:)_

Ryder got herself under control. "We can't let it happen.''

Jenna sighed. "I know that, but what are we going to do?"

Without hesitation, "Call Castiel."

"What good is that going to do?"

Ryder would always think of Jenna as a friend, maybe not the best friend she was, but sometimes she really wanted to slap her.

"The whole point of Dean torturing Alastair is to know who's killing the angels, right?" Jenna nodded still not getting it. "You know, just because you're a blonde doesn't mean you have to act like the stereotypical blonde." Jenna rolled her eyes. "We already know who's doing it. So, if we tell Castiel, they won't have any need for him."

She got to her feet and, "Castiel? We have information for you." Both girls waited for the angel to appear. "Come on Cas, you know you need this information."

A flutter of wings were heard, and in a blink of an eye Castiel was there. "What do you want?"

Jenna got to her feet. "We have the information you're trying to get Dean to get."

Castiel looked at them trying to determine if they were telling the truth. "What is it?"

Jenna opened her mouth to answer, but Ryder cut her off. "You're not getting anything from us, until you take us to Dean. Now."

Castiel stared at them for a moment, and in the end he nodded. Ryder picked up Lilith, and Castiel took them to Dean.

_(End Flashback)_

* * *

Ryder stood out of the conversation between Jenna and Castiel. This was Jenna's husband, so she would leave her to deal with it.

After hearing the whole thing, Castiel was furious. He remembered what Ryder told him all those months ago, but now it made sense. He told the girls not to stop Dean yet, until he dealt with Uriel. As soon as he left, Jenna ran into the room Dean was in with Alastair. What she saw before her didn't really do much for her; it's not she hadn't seen it before.

Dean, expecting Castiel, didn't turn to look to who came in the room. "What do you want Cas?"

"You're more pretty up close," Alastair said.

Hearing that, Dean turned around. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Jenna didn't answer him, instead looking at the tools Dean was using. Normally she would've felt sick, but she remembered this was the thing that did so much damage to the man she loved. She saw Ruby's knife laying on the table. She turned to look at Alastair and smiled.

She slowly walked up to him pulling away from Dean when he went to stop her. "You're the famous Alastair, right?" He grinned wickedly. "You know, when he was in Hell you hurt him so much." She caressed his face.

"And I enjoyed every minute of it."

She kept the smile on her face. Dean had no idea what the hell she was doing. "Jenna?"

"I'm sure you did. It made me sad every time I watched this on TV." She ignored their looks of confusion. "I told myself that if I was really here, I would kill you myself." Dean looked at the table and it was gone. She pulled out Ruby's knife.

Alastair smirked. "Sorry little girl, but that won't work on me."

Jenna's smiled like it meant nothing. "Maybe at one point, but you're not as strong as you were, are you?" Out of nowhere, she stabbed him in the heart. Orange light flickered throughout his body. "That's for Dean, you bastard."

The light diminished, and she dropped the knife. Her smile faded, and she went to hug him which he gladly returned.

* * *

Sam came into the building, and he was confused at the lack of activity. He didn't hear or see anything. The warehouse was just empty. Wasn't Dean supposed to be here? Was he hurt?

He saw a door to a room somewhat open. Slowly pushing the door, he walked in. He turned on his flashlight, and seeing nothing but carts of tools and blood, he got a bad feeling. The light in the room went on, and he turned around to who did it. His heart picked up speed, "Ryder."

She crossed her arms. "Hello, Sam."

He didn't like her tone, nor did he like the blank expression she wore. "What are you doing here?"

Ryder walked up to him calmly. "The question is: what are _you_ doing here?" She looked around. "Where's Ruby?" Sam gulped. She sighed. "I hate to do this Sam, but you leave me no choice." Okay, he really didn't like the sound of that.

"What do you mean?"

"You have a choice, it's either her or me."

Sam's heart might as well have stopped. Did it really get that bad that it came to this? Was being with Ruby that bad that his wife would come to this decision?

"If you choose her, we're done. If you choose me, no more Ruby. If you want help with Lilith, I'll help you. Trust me on this, please!" When he didn't speak, she took that as his answer. She turned to walk away, but stopped when arms wrapped around her.

Sam held her, and whispered in her ear, "I'll always choose you."

* * *

The next morning, Sam was taking care of Lilith while Dean and Jenna went to get breakfast. He looked as wife slept, and sighed. He hated that he put her through so much, and she still stayed with him. He didn't deserve her. He would've been broken if Ryder left him, but would it have been better for her if he didn't choose her?

Dean walked in, and put the food on the table. He looked at Ryder sleeping, "She's still not up?"

Sam shook his head, "She was really tired last night."

"Well too bad, food's here." He walked up to the bed, and shook her. "Ryder? Get up, we got breakfast." He shook her again, but she didn't wake. He frowned. "Ryder?" He shook her once more. Nothing. He touched her neck, and confirmed she was still alive. So why wasn't she waking?

Sam looked at Dean waking up Ryder, but something wasn't right. "Dean? What's wrong?"

Dean didn't turn away from her, "She's not waking up." Sam gave Lilith to Jenna, and went to his wife's side.

"Ryder? Baby, wake up." She didn't even stir.

Jenna didn't know what to do as she watched the boys try to wake up her best friend. _Cas, something's wrong with Ryder._

A flutter of wings announced Castiel's arrival. "What's wrong?"

"It's Ryder. She's not waking up." Sam answered. "Is there anything you can do?"

Without answering, Castiel touched Ryder's forehead. He looked confused, and after a moment he pulled away.

"Strange."

"What? What's wrong?"

"Physically she's fine, but-" He trailed off not knowing how to continue.

"But? But what?" asked Sam.

"It seems Ryder just went to sleep and didn't wake up."


	17. Chapter 17

Ryder sat up and looked around the room. As soon as she caught sight of the room she was in, she immediately got to her feet. Where the hell was she? She didn't recognize the room she was in.

"Sam?" she called out. "Dean? Jenna?"

Nothing. It felt strange that she really didn't expect anyone to respond to her. 

Ryder walked around the room, and examined everything that was in it. For some reason, she may not have recognized where she was, but in some odd way it felt... familiar. Which was impossible because she believed she had never been in this room. 

She walked around the bed she woke up in, and went to the side table. It had one drawer, and as soon as she opened it she gasped. Ryder slowly reached in, and picked up a picture frame. Her heart skipped a beat at what she was seeing.

She dropped it, and the glass shattered. Everything about this room came flooding back to her. That was why it felt familiar. She shook her head backing away. This wasn't happening again. This was supposed to be over! She was supposed to be out!

She dropped to her knees clutching her head. How could this be happening? She got out. Was it all just a dream? If it was all just a dream, her mind had a sick sense of humor. Tears fell down her face, and she froze when she heard the bedroom door open. She didn't have to look up to know who it was, because if she was where she thought she was then there was no point in looking up. She was back and it was worse than any nightmare that her mind could ever conjure up.

"What the hell are you doing on the ground?!" Her head was yanked up by her hair. She cried out in pain. "I asked you a question!" he screamed when she didn't respond.

Hearing his voice was one thing, for she could've always imagined it. It was another thing when she looked up to his face, and her fears were confirmed. It was him. It was Jeff. Her ex.

"I'm sorry." She felt so ashamed of herself. She fought against so many people, against a Hellhound, against demons, and she went to Hell and back, but she couldn't stand up to her ex boyfriend. How pathetic is that?

He slapped her numerous times, and pushed her to the ground and beat her. Jeff could see that she wasn't getting up, and that's what he wanted. He wanted his whore where she belonged: on the ground. He kicked her in the stomach and left the room slamming the door behind him.

Ryder laid there in pain and she cried, "Sam... Dean... help me."

* * *

"So, what can we do to get her to wake up?" asked Sam. He was panicking so much at this point. His wife was practically in a coma, and he couldn't do anything to help her.

Castiel didn't answer at first. He had an idea of what they could do, but would it really work? What he saw when he touched her, made him feel so concerned. He had grown close to her in the time that the girls had been there. He had no choice.

"There is a way."

"Great! What is it?" This was such great news. Sam would do anything to get her back.

Castiel shook his head. "Unfortunately, only one of you would be able to bring her back."

Dean looked at him confused. "Bring her back from what?" Jenna walked up to him still holding onto Lilith.

"Ryder is trapped in her own worst memories."

Jenna gasped. "Oh shit!"

All eyes turned to her. "What?" They all asked together.

"I don't know everything that ever happened to her, because she doesn't like to talk about a lot of things." She sighed. "What I do know is that some of her worst memories: is her ex boyfriend. He was really abusive; liked to control her. There's also her parents, I don't know much more than that."

Sam thought for a moment. The way Jenna put it, it didn't sound too terrible. He sighed. "What do we need to do?"

Castiel touched her forehead again, and they all watched him concentrate on whatever it was that he was doing. After a few moments, Castiel pulled away. "There's only one of you that's close enough to her to bring her back."

Dean scoffed. "Well, obviously that would be Sam."

Castiel shook his head. "No, it isn't."

"What do you mean? Who else could be close to her? I'm her husband."

"You're not listening." Castiel sighed. "It has nothing to do with intimacy or anything romantic wise. If it were, then of course it would be you. In this case, it has more to do with being close in experiences, and what's going on emotionally."

He waited for them to understand what he was talking about. By the looks of it, it seemed Sam was getting it.

'Being close in experiences?' "If you're saying what I believe you're saying, then the one that's close to her," Sam looked at his brother, "is you, Dean."

 _Wow,_ Dean thought, _was not expecting that._

* * *

Ryder picked herself up, and went to the bathroom very carefully. Her ribs didn't feel broken, but it did hurt like a bitch. She didn't want to look in the mirror, and see the damage Jeff did. Her hurting and throbbing, so she really had no choice. As soon as she looked in the mirror, she cringed. Her lip was busted up, her eye was swollen, her cheek was cut up, her nose looked broken. She cleaned her face, and when she finished she went back into the room and laid down.

Where was Sam? Being with the brothers couldn't have been a dream; it was just too real. Even if it wasn't real, where was Jenna? She wasn't part of the show, so where was she? What she really didn't understand was, if she was back with her ex, then why did this feel like deja vu?

* * *

"Um... okay, so what do I need to do?" asked Dean sitting on his own bed.

"I can send you wherever she is, and once you're with her you need to get her out.''

"Wow, you make it sound so easy." Dean said rolling his eyes. "How? How do I get her out?"

Castiel had to think about that. "You have to find out the reason she's even there." He walked up to him, "Lay down and I'll send you in."

He was all for saving his sister in law, but he needed to gather himself. "Give me a minute." He laid down, and took a deep breath. He looked at his brother, "Don't worry, I'll bring her back."

Sam couldn't bring himself to speak in fear he would break, so he simply nodded. He took his daughter from Jenna, so she could have a moment with Dean.

Jenna sat down next to him and took his hand. "Please, be careful. I need you to come back." She leaned in to kiss him, and when she broke the kiss she hovered over him. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Jenna backed away and stood by Sam. Dean gave the okay to Castiel. He stood next to Dean and touched his forehead. They all watched as his eyes shut, and the only thing they could do was wait.

* * *

Sam watched as his brother slept, and prayed that he could bring his wife back. Turning to look at her, he was so sad. He never realized how much Ryder truly meant to him, until she was no longer here. He held her hand and kissed it. _Please come back. I need you._

Jenna watched as her husband slept, and she hoped that he was alright. He needed to come back. She couldn't go on without him. Why couldn't anything ever go right with the boys? Was their luck really that terrible?

As the time went on, Sam became restless. He couldn't just sit there, and watch as two of the most important people in his life lay there while he did nothing. He was already on his third cup of coffee. He needed to get his mind off this whole thing. Sam shook his head. Suddenly he felt like a bad father. Caught up in the whole thing with Ryder, he neglected his own daughter!

Picking her up, and holding her in his arms felt so good. Lily may not have come from him, but she was his in all other aspects. Family doesn't start with blood, just as it doesn't end there either. He could feel his worries wash away. Sam let his thoughts on his wife and brother go for now, and focused on his daughter.

"Jenna?"

She looked up from Sam's computer. She too felt that she needed to get her mind off the whole situation, so she thought playing with his computer would be fun. It wasn't.

"I'm going to take Lily to the park. Do you want to come?" This may not be the perfect time to go to the park, but he couldn't just sit here and drive himself crazy with worry. Besides, Lily needed her father.

Jenna smiled at that. She hadn't been to the park since she was a kid. Now that there was a child in their life that they could take sounded like fun. She nodded and went to get her jacket. Sam went to get Lily's jacket.

As her daddy was putting on her jacket, she felt happy. Lilith didn't like seeing her daddy and the nice lady sad. Being sad made her sad, and that wasn't fun. She giggled when her daddy kissed her cheek. She was very excited to be going somewhere with her daddy and the lady. Her daddy carried her out the door, and before he closed it, she grew sad that her mommy wasn't coming. Did her mommy not love her anymore? She didn't like thinking that her mommy didn't love her, but why else would she be sleeping and not going with them?

* * *

Dean suddenly found himself in a house, and by the looks of it whoever owned it was seriously loaded. Hearing the TV on, he glanced inside the living room, and saw a young guy sitting on the couch. He was going to walk in and make himself known, when he heard him yell.

"RYDER! MAKE ME SOMETHING TO EAT YOU BITCH!"

Hearing those words being said about someone he cared about pissed him off, and he was fighting every urge he had to not go in there. He had other things he had to do. He looked up the stairwell, and determined that Ryder had to be up there; otherwise he wouldn't have yelled so loud.

Ryder could hear footsteps heading toward her room. Her heart picked up speed, fearing that it was Jeff. Part of her was terrified of him and wanted to cower in the corner, but another part of her was angry. Not angry with him, but with herself. She was a badass fighter, and here she was cowering in the face of a man she believed she loved at one point. Realizing what she was going to do, she forced herself off the bed, and prepared for what was to come.

Watching as the door opened, she had the small urge to run, but she pushed that away. She wasn't going to run... not now. She had put up with him longer than she would ever let anyone. Ryder felt herself on the verge of fainting when she saw who it was. It wasn't Jeff, but Dean! She fought every ounce of her not to jump in the air confirming that she wasn't crazy.

Ignoring all the pain in her body, she ran into his arms and held onto him for dear life. She was so happy that he was there. "You're real," she whispered. "It wasn't a dream."

Dean rubbed her back and held her. He wasn't good with words, but he knew he could do this.

"Wait," she pulled back. "What are you doing here?"

"Cas sent me here to bring you back."

Hearing those words felt so good to hear, because she didn't know what she would do if the whole thing wasn't real. She was so happy to be with the brothers and her daughter, and there wasn't anything that would change that.

"How are you going to do that?" she asked still holding onto him. She felt that if she let go he would disappear.

"Well, Cas said that we need to find out the reason you were sent here, and that should do the trick."

Ryder stared at him, and although she was happy that he was here, the way he said that made it seem like he wasn't sure. At the moment, she didn't care. As long as he was there she would be all right.

"So, what's the plan?" she asked.

* * *

Before going to the park, Sam and Jenna decided to go to the thrift store to buy a stroller. Carrying her in their arms, or in the carrier wouldn't always help. They figured that putting her in a stroller would be easier on them and her.

Walking into the store, they quickly went to find the baby stuff. There were a few decent strollers, but only two caught their attention. They examined both, and it came down to the one that looked nice and big, or the nice and cheap one. They looked at each other, and it was decided. They may have fake credit cards, but it wasn't like they could splurge. The cheap one it was.

Jenna went to the restroom, while Sam went to stand in line.

"How adorable," a voice said behind him. He turned to look and saw a middle aged couple. "How old is she?"

Sam had to think about that. Ryder never did say how old she was. He looked at her, and figured she looked to be around seven months, and that's what he told her. 

"Well, she's adorable."

He was next in line. "Thank you."

Jenna had rejoined him, and they walked out together. Sam saw the couple walking to their car, and as they were walking away the woman said, "You have a beautiful child Ms."

Jenna furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She looked at Sam for clarification. He shrugged his shoulders. Twenty minutes later, they were settled in at the park. They had bought food to eat for lunch time on their way. Jenna set their food on the table. Having done that, they went to the playground.

Sam put Lilith in the swing, and right when she was pushed she immediately started to giggle. Seeing her happy made Sam and Jenna all that much better. Sam just wished Ryder was here to enjoy this. It didn't seem right to be here without the mother of his child.

"Do you like that baby girl?" Sam asked earning a giggle in return.

Jenna went to sit on the swing next to them. She watched as Sam pushed Lilith, and she couldn't help but be happy. How can you not when a child was having so much fun for simply being pushed on the swing?

Lilith liked this very much. She didn't know what she was in, but she liked it. She liked it more when she saw that her daddy was happy. If he liked it so much, why wasn't he doing it too? Her daddy should really do this, because it was so much fun. Lilith really wanted her mommy with her and her daddy and the lady. Maybe her mommy really didn't love her. Did she not want to be her mommy anymore? She didn't like that.

* * *

Listening to Dean talk about what the whole thing made Ryder a little better. Just a little. She didn't really like the idea that she was trapped in her own nightmares. Whoever was behind this whole thing had one sick sense of humor. All she wanted to do was get back to her husband and daughter. She really missed Lilith, and she needed to be there. What if something happened, and Sam found out? Would he kill her? She shook her head, no, he would never do that. Maybe Soulless Sam would, after all he was a dick.

"So, then none of this real."

Dean shook his head. Having realized that this was all in her head, her injuries faded.

"What I don't get is, if you're supposed to be this amazing fighter, why were you all beaten up? Why didn't you fight back?"

Ryder sighed. This was never something she liked to think about. "When I was with him, I never fought back because after my parents kicked me out, he was all that I had. He said that he loved me, and I believed him." She looked away. "It didn't matter that he hit me, as long as he said he loved me, I didn't care."

"That's stupid! No man should ever put their hands on a woman!" Dean would never do that. He may be a hard ass at times, but there were some things he wouldn't even do. Unless the woman was a demon or monster that was attacking him or his family. Other than that... never! 

"You're right, but I didn't think of it that way." She wanted to put this whole thing behind her, and move on. Her ex was the past, and Sam was her future. She went to open the door, and before she did, "Every girl wants to be loved by someone. It doesn't matter if the guy is an asshole, or prince charming. When he says those words, all common sense goes out the window." With that she walked through the door with Dean behind her.

Stepping through the door, Ryder and Dean were in a whole new setting. They were in a kitchen, and it wasn't Jeff's.

''Where-" Dean was cut off.

"RAIN!''

Ryder could recognize that voice anywhere. Both Dean and Ryder watched as an older woman came into the kitchen.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She asked looking behind them. They turned to see a younger Ryder.

"Mom."

"Wait until your father sees this," she spat out and walked back out of the kitchen.

Dean looked around the kitchen, and figured her parents must be seriously rich to afford a house like this. Was everyone in Ryder's life rich? "So why would this be considered a worse memory?"

Ryder never turned away from her double. She hated this more than her ex, and that's saying something. "You'll see."

More yelling could be heard, and her mother was back along with a man Dean assumed was Ryder's father.

"What are you still doing here?" her father asked the other Ryder. "We thought we told you to leave. You're a killer! Get out of my house, now!"

"Dad, please! She attacked me first." Her father wasn't listening to her. He grabbed her hair, and she cried out in pain. "Dad, I was only protecting myself."

"You're a murderer, and you're not welcome here." He threw her out of the house, and slammed the door in her face. It took all of Dean's strength to not kill her father. He rolled his eyes. Another father was just added to his list of people to kill.

Dean and Ryder watch as the scene unfold. Ryder hated this because the people that were supposed to love her unconditionally didn't want anything to do with her. How sad is that? It was one thing for her ex to hate her, but it was a whole new ball game when it was her parents that were the ones that hated her.

They watched as Ryder pounded on the door in tears. "Dad! Mom! Please open the door!"

"How old were you?" Dean asked never taking his eyes off the other Ryder.

"Seventeen."

How could this possibly get worse? Wait for it. The other Ryder looked up at the night sky when she felt a rain drop on her face. Rain. It quickly poured down, and they watched as the other Ryder ran off.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked very sad.

"She's homeless... in the rain... with nowhere to go. Where do you think she's going?" When he didn't answer, "She's looking for a place to sleep tonight."

"Did you?" He looked at her.

"No."

* * *

Sam took Lilith out of the swing, and went to the slide. Jenna felt bad that Ryder wasn't here to enjoy this, because it should be her here with her husband and daughter, not her. While Sam was playing with Lilith, she had ran to nearest store and bought a disposable camera.

Coming back to the park, Jenna could see that Sam didn't even know that she was gone. Immediately she took a few pictures of Sam going down the slide with Lilith. Lilith smiling, and holding onto Sam. All in all they looked so cute together.

It came time for both of them to rest. Sam was getting a little tired, but he was nowhere near ready to go back to the motel. He didn't want to go back to worrying, so staying out and getting their minds off his wife and brother was the best thing for him to do.

He saw that Lilith was still jittery from the playground and wanted to go back, and Sam was all the more willing to do just that.

A woman came up to Jenna with her son walking along side her. "Is she yours?"

Jenna shook her head. "No, she's my niece."

The woman smiled. "Well, she's very beautiful." She said goodbye and walked out of the park.

Jenna continued to take pictures for Ryder and Dean. Sam played with Lilith for a few more hours never thinking he could just spend the day having fun. He didn't want this to ever end.

* * *

As the scenery faded, they heard music behind them and as soon as they turned around the music blasted. Dean was stunned to think they were outside in the pouring rain one minute and in a club the next. What the hell were they doing in a club?

Dean looked and saw people dancing and drinking. Some were so caught up in the music, they didn't notice they were grinding on each other. Dean was going to ask why they were there when he saw it.

Ryder never thought she would have to ever see this again. It was bad enough that it even happened, it was worse to go through it again. She was getting really pissed off! What the hell was the point in all of this? To break her? It won't work. She scanned through the crowd, and her eyes stopped when she spotted the other Ryder. She felt so disgusted with herself.

"Is that you?" asked Dean pointing to her other self.

"Yeah."

"Wow." Dean watched as the other Ryder danced with another man. Her arm wrapped around his neck, his hands on her waist, and they swayed to the music. Their bodies moved as one to the beat. Dean didn't like what he was seeing. He figured that now that she was married to his brother, seeing her with another man angered him. He had to remember this already happened. Putting his anger to the side he watched as she danced, and he had to admit that she was a very good dancer.

Ryder felt even more disgusted with herself. They may have seemed like they knew each other from the way they moved, but she didn't know him. She had shown up at the club with a few of her friends, and the man asked her to dance. She rolled her eyes when the other Ryder kissed the guy.

"How is this considered a nightmare or a bad memory?" Dean asked. If anything, he would count this a nice experience. He didn't get an answer, instead he watched as the other Ryder made her way to the exit. Why was she leaving? She looked like she was having fun.

Ryder moved to follow her other self, so Dean followed as well. The other Ryder staggered clearly drunk, and before they could move any further, Ryder stopped him.

"What's wrong?"

"Don't judge me." Not saying anymore, Ryder continued walking.

"What do you mean?"

She didn't answer instead pointing in front of her.

Dean looked as the same man the other Ryder had danced with in the club followed her. Dean didn't know what to expect, so he watched.

Ryder was controlling herself as she watched herself give herself to the man. She was clearly not thinking, but Ryder could remember that this didn't end well. Not for her.

Dean watched as the other Ryder and the man went at it. He wasn't very interested in seeing her have sex with some random guy. He was suddenly relieved that his brother wasn't there to see that.

"I don't understand how this could be a nightmare." He shrugged his shoulders. "You seem pretty into it."

Then out of nowhere another man came up behind them, and at first it looked like he was going to join in, but he pulled something out his jacket pocket. A video camera. Dean groaned. He could see where this was going, and he knew it was only going to get worse.

Ryder looked away not wanting to see someone record her having sex with some guy she just met. She felt so ashamed of herself.

When it was over, both men left her laying there in the alley. It looked like she had passed out.

Dean didn't know what to say. He looked at Ryder, and held his arms out inviting her in. She looked him in the eyes, and all she saw was pure sadness and sympathy. Although she wasn't one for taking pity, she needed some comfort. She wrapped her arms around him, and he held her until she stopped crying.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered in her ear. He wondered how much she was going to be put through before she could wake up.

* * *

Lilith was having so much being with her daddy and the nice lady.

Sam and Jenna left the park, and decided to go walk around town. Sam put Lilith in her stroller and they walked out. Although they had money, they settled for window shopping. They walked around town for a couple hours, and stopped when they saw an animal shelter.

Jenna always had a soft spot for animals, so she was more than willing to go in. Making their way in to see the animals, Lilith pointed at the small kittens.

"You like the kitty, Lily?'' asked Jenna.

Sam picked her out of the stroller so she would have a better view of the animals. Sam leaned her in closer, and Lilith stuck her small hand in the cage; she pulled it back quickly when she touched the fur.

The kitten meowed, and leaned into her touch when she stuck her hand in again. Lilith giggled. She really liked the small kitty. The kitty was very soft.

They saw more of the animals, but it was the cats that Lilith liked to see more. The shelter was closing soon, and before they made their way out, Sam took Lilith back to the same kitten she liked.

"Dada," Lilith said pointing to the kitten.

Sam never thought he would ever hear such a wonderful word from his daughter. Sam hugged her and kissed her cheek.

Lilith didn't know why her daddy kissed her, but if he liked being called daddy then she would say it again. She liked making her daddy happy.

"I love you sweetheart."

* * *

They broke apart, and when they looked up the setting changed once more. Ryder didn't know if she could take anymore. What next? Her heart picked up when she realized where she was. School. _Wow, someone must really hate me,_ she thought.

Dean looked around the campus, and tried to see if he could spot the other Ryder. He couldn't see her anywhere. His attention was on the people around him. At first glance one would see that the students were just laughing and talking with each other, but something didn't seem right. He walked up to a few people to hear what they were talking about.

"Did you see it?" a boy asked the rest of the group.

"Yeah, she looked so wasted."A girl laughed, and soon the others joined in and they walked off.

Dean had no idea what that was about. So he walked up to two guys talking.

''Andrew I downloaded it on my phone," one guy said.

The guy Andrew looked at the other's phone. From Dean's angle they were watching a video. He leaned over and watched it as well. He watched a lot of porn in his time, so he assumed they were just watching a porno. That was until he saw the female. It was Ryder! Those bastards put it on the internet.

Ryder didn't want to see this. This was not one of her best days. She looked around and she could tell that almost all of the guys were watching the video, and the girls were calling her names. Normally she didn't care what other people said, but when a majority of your school had seen a video of you drunk off your ass having sex, you tend to pay some attention to what they say.

Dean was walking back to Ryder when he spotted the other Ryder walking onto the campus. He could only imagine how this was going to go down.

When the students had their eyes on her, they started pointing and laughing. The other Ryder looked confused.

"Hey, did you have fun last night?" one girl asked walking off.

"Ryder, did you enjoy it?"

"Would you let me record you too?"

"Slut!"

"Whore!"

"Cunt!"

One guy walked up to her, and "Do you normally let guys fuck you? Because I want to tell my friends what street you work on." He shoved her and joined his friends.

Dean not realizing that this had already happened, began to march up to the guy wanting to knock his ass out. Ryder pulled him back.

"It doesn't matter now.''

Dean yanked his arm back but stood there and watched as the other Ryder listened as everyone said hurtful things. He had thought it was over when the name calling ended. He was wrong. In the middle of the school, a projector played a video. He groaned, and watched in horror as the video of Ryder was played to everyone there.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he yelled. He saw the other Ryder watch in tears as everyone saw the video. "What kind of fucking school is this?!"

The other Ryder ran off never looking back.

"Did you ever go back?"

Ryder didn't take her eyes off the other Ryder running back to the bus stop. She shook her head, "No. I dropped out."

* * *

Sam and Jenna made their way back to the motel. Unlocking the door, they were praying that their spouse was awake, but when they saw they were still out, they frowned in disappointment.

It had been a long day and after feeding, bathing and changing Lilith, Sam had put her to sleep. He laid her down to sleep next to Ryder. She was out like a light in minutes. He kissed her goodnight.

"What if they don't wake up?" asked Jenna sitting at the table.

Sam shook his head. "They'll wake up. They have to."

"And if they don't?"

"There's no if, it's only when." He had so much determination in his voice that it masked his worry.

They each took their turn in the shower, and when they were both clean, they settled on watching a movie on Sam's computer.

Watching the movie with Jenna reminded Sam of something he had been wanting to know but forgot. "Jenna?"

"What?" She looked away from the screen and turned to him.

"How did you lose your voice?"

Jenna was stunned. She wasn't prepared for that, but nevertheless she answered. "Awhile back I was making breakfast for my dad and for some reason he came into the kitchen very mad. My dad was the only one that could eat first, so I waited until he was done before I could eat. "

Sam could hear the struggle in her voice. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Jenna ignored him and continued. "He didn't like the food, so he grabbed the pan with the bacon grease off the stove and poured it down my throat." She touched her throat in remembrance. Talking about made her remember the pain from the grease. "There wasn't much, but I didn't swallow it. I spit out, and he called 911 saying that I did it. The doctors said that the grease damaged my vocal cords and that it was unlikely that I would talk again."

Sam didn't know what to say. What could you say? "Did they ever suspect your dad?"

"No. I obviously couldn't talk, and even if I could I wouldn't have said anything."

"Why not?" he asked softly.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I wanted my dad to love me. How could he if he was in jail?"

Sam could see that she was crying so he held her.

* * *

"Please tell me this is it?" said Dean. He didn't think he could take anymore of this. He was so pissed off, he just wanted to go find a hunt and take all of his anger out on it.

The setting changed once again. But it was different. This wasn't anything that Ryder recognized. They were in a hallway. There were no doors or windows. Just an empty hallway. Dean was about to speak when out of nowhere a door at the far end opened. Guess they had to go through there.

They both made their way, and Dean let her in first. As soon as she stepped in, the door closed behind her. She turned back trying to open it.

"Dean!" She pounded on the door.

When the door closed in front of him, Dean panicked. Not good. "Ryder!" He threw himself at the door trying to get it open. "Son of a bitch. Ryder!"

Nothing. He then kicked the door wanting nothing more than to get in. He promised Sam he would bring her back, and he was going to do that. He didn't come all this way just to stop now.

The door wasn't going to open anytime soon, no matter how much Ryder pulled on the door knob. She took in a few deep breaths to calm her racing heart.

"You won't be leaving," a voice said behind her.

Ryder slowly turned around, and she came face to face with her doppelganger. She had the same clothes, hairstyle and facial expression. She wasn't like the other Ryders.

"Who are you?"

The doppelganger rolled her eyes. "Well that's a stupid question." She had this angry aura that surrounded her and it was intense. "I'm you dumbass, but I guess you can call me Rain."

"What do you want?" Ryder didn't like this at all.

"I want to talk.''

"About?"

"Well, if you stop talking then I'll tell you."

"If you're really me, then you know I'm not one for doing as I'm told."

Rain scoffed. "Always trying to be the bad ass." She stepped closer to Ryder until they were only inches apart. "You're really pissing me off."

Ryder went to open her mouth when the other held up her hand to stop her.

"I'm talking, you listen." Ryder clenched her jaw. "You can pretend all you want that you have me under control, but sooner or later you will lose that control. You're going to need me if you want to win. You can't lock me in here forever, because I will be free and you're the one that's going to do it."

Ryder pushed Rain back, "No! I'm in control, not you! I don't need you!'' She went to throw in a punch, but Rain deflected it.

"You can't fight me, because I know all your moves." Rain could see that Ryder wasn't going to listen. "I'll tell you what, if you beat me I'll let you go."

Ryder narrowed her eyes. "And if I don't?"

Rain smirked. "I walk free."

That wasn't something Ryder was going to do anytime soon. It would be dangerous for everyone if she were to lose. Ryder stepped back and took her stance, and that was taken as her answer. Rain smiled evilly and took her stance as well.

Ryder knew this was going to be hard. She had come face to face with her worst nightmare, and she knew better than to underestimate her. The only one that could ever beat her, was herself, but she wasn't going to let that happen. She was going to win. Maybe the other Ryders would lose, but not her. For she had something worth fighting for.

Each woman threw their own punches,  and kicks, but because of who the other woman was it wasn't that easy. They were able to hit the other a few times, but the rest was deflected.

"Fight all you want, you will release me," Rain said when she eventually was able to pin Ryder down.

Ryder growled, and reversed their positions to where she was on top. She didn't know where it came from, but she pulled a knife out of her waistband and drove it through Rain's heart.

She brought her face down where they were nose to nose. "I win." She pushed it further in.

"For now." Rain slumped to the ground, and as soon as she 'died', her body shimmered away.

The door burst open, and Dean came in ready to fight if he had to. He looked around for any possible danger, but he relaxed when he saw it was only Ryder. He went to her side, and helped her up.

"Are you okay?" She nodded. "What was in here?" He asked.

"Nothing I couldn't handle." She would never tell him or anyone what had just happened. A door that she knew wasn't there a moment ago opened. "Let's go home."

Nothing more to say they walked through the door neither looking back.

* * *

Sam and Jenna waited for their spouse to wake up. Ever since they came back, all their worried settled back in. What if they didn't wake up? What if Dean would wake up, but not Ryder?

Their thoughts were interrupted when they heard groaning from both Dean and Ryder. Jenna immediately went to Dean's side, while Sam went to Ryder's.

Sam smiled big when he saw Ryder's eyes open. "Ryder? Baby, are you okay?"

Ryder looked around and her eyes landed on Sam. She was back! She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down.

He picked her up so he could hold her too. He was so glad she was back. He never wanted to let her go. He looked to Dean awake and holding onto his wife. When their eyes met, they shared a few silent words that only they would understand. After all they shared a bond where words weren't needed.

_Thank you._

_Any time brother._

Ryder broke the hug, and looked around the room. They were missing one other person she needed to see. Sam having known who she was looking for pointed next to her. She looked and smiled. Lilith! She missed her so much. She hated to wake her up, but she missed her too much to care.

"Lily?" She gently shook her tummy. "Sweetheart, wake up."

Lilith opened her eyes, and as soon as she saw who woke her, her eyes quickly brightened. Her mommy wasn't sleeping anymore. She missed her mommy so much. "Momma!"

Hearing her voice brought so much happiness to Ryder, and she picked her up. "I missed you so much." She kissed her cheek. "I love you baby."

Lilith never thought her mommy would say that to her again. She thought her mommy didn't love her anymore. Lilith was very happy that she was wrong. Her mommy still loved her!

That night, Ryder woke up having to go to the bathroom. She slipped out of bed, and made her way to the restroom. Finished with her business, she washed her hands and went to turn off the lights. If she had looked up, she would've seen Rain watching her with a smug grin and black eyes.


	18. Chapter 18

Ryder didn't know whether or not if she was going crazy. She had kept seeing Rain everywhere that had a reflection. Black eyes and a smug smile. It made Ryder uneasy, and the worst part was that she couldn't tell anyone about her; especially Sam. She could only imagine how that would go.

After the encounter, Dean and Ryder grew closer. Not in the romantic sense, but in the best friend sense. Dean saw things about Ryder that she never told anyone, not even Jenna. She may have known about Jeff, but the others not even close. That was apart of Ryder's past that was going to stay just that; her past. Maybe one day she could tell Sam, but right now she was more than willing to move on.

* * *

Sam was a little glad that things had gone somewhat back to how they were before the whole thing with Ryder had started. He was happy that his brother and Ryder had grown closer. He wanted that for them, because it's nice to have someone else you can count on besides the people you've grown accustomed to.

Dean and Jenna had gone to the local diner in town to grab dinner, and it was nice of them to take Lily with them. It didn't matter how short it was, Sam just wanted some alone time with Ryder.

"Hey," he said laying beside her on the bed. "Are you okay? You haven't been yourself since the whole sleep thing happened." He wrapped his arm around her waist, and pulled her in.

Ryder sighed. "I'm fine; just a little tired." She closed her eyes wanting to savor the moment before the others got back. She turned over so she was facing him. "I love you," she whispered looking him in the eyes.

"I love you too." He leaned in to kiss her. They stayed like that for a moment, until they broke apart when the door opened.

While eating dinner, Dean tossed Sam a newspaper. Checking it out, Sam concluded that it was a simple haunting. It didn't seem like it needed their immediate attention, so they all agreed that they could leave in the morning.

Ryder got out of bed that night having to use the restroom. She looked at the others to make sure she was actually awake and not in some dream. Finished with her business, she looked in the mirror and almost screamed.

 _ **"Miss me?"**_ asked Rain with Ryder's bright green eyes.

"You're not real." Ryder said closing her eyes.

 _ **"I'm as real as it's going to get.''**_ She said fixing her hair. _**"The sooner you realize that, the better off you're going to be."**_

"Why am I seeing you now? Why not before?" She said quietly.

Rain rolled her eyes. _**"You're not very bright, are you? Maybe you should've stayed in school."**_ Ryder glared at her. _**"You can see me, because I finally made contact with you."**_

"What does that mean?"

_**"What don't you understand? Until you admit to yourself that you need me, I'm not going anywhere."** _

Ryder didn't want to hear anymore. She wasn't going to do this. As she was closing the door, she heard Rain yell. 

_**"I'm apart of you, just as much as you are apart of me!"** _

* * *

Pulling up to their new motel, the boys got into their FBI suits while the girls watched TV. Back in their old world, Ryder and Jenna talked about how they would help the boys fight monsters and learn to hunt. Now that they were actually there with them, they were perfectly okay with staying in the motel. Mostly because they had things to do themselves.

Speaking of which, what was Ryder going to do about the third trial? She looked at Lilith sitting on the bed playing with her toys. If Lilith was really _the_ Lilith, then what was she going to do about that? What was she going to say to the others? Because as far as she knew, she was the only one that knew about her. Would Sam be angry with her? Would he not want to be with her? She sighed. If it came to that, Ryder couldn't blame him. After all, the number one demon on Sam's hit list could very well have been with them the whole time and she didn't say anything. Whatever it was that was going to happen, it wasn't going to be good.

Jenna came out of the shower just as the boys came in. She was happy that Ryder woke up, and everything turned out alright, but she didn't like that her and Dean had gotten closer. Was Sam really okay with that? What if they were doing things behind their backs? She shook her head to rid herself thinking like that. Dean and Ryder wouldn't do that. Ryder loves Sam, and Dean loves her. At least she hoped so.

"Have either of you heard of a man name Carver Edlund?" asked Dean putting a bag of what looked like books on the table.

The girls perked up when they heard that. Ever since they watched the episode, they have always wanted to read the books. They rushed to the books and each grabbed one.

"I take it that you have?" assumed Sam sitting at the table.

"Hell yeah! Awesome this is _Faith._ Which one do you have?" asked Ryder. _Faith_ was her favorite episode from season one. She loved that Sam wouldn't let Dean die without doing all he could to prevent it.

" _Heart._ " Jenna remembered the ending and she hated it. She hated the pain that Sam had to go through when he found someone he really cared for. She also hated the pain Dean went through because of Sam's pain.

* * *

As the boys read the books about themselves, they were really freaked out. Then again who wouldn't be when they find out that someone had been writing about their lives for the world to see?

Sam was on the computer looking up more about the books and the author, while the girls read the books even though they knew what happened. Dean had put his book down trying to get a grasp on what he was reading. He picked up the book again and continued. How the hell did this guy know all about them? Getting over the shock that their lives were for the world to read, he was pissed! Who gave this guy the right to write about their lives, because it sure as hell wasn't them?!

"How is this guy doing this? Everything is in here; from the racist truck driver to me having sex. And it's pretty graphic." Dean got up and sat at the table with his brother.

Sam cringed at the thought that his brother's sex life was in full detail. At least he knew what books to avoid.

"How come we've never heard of them?" He noticed that the girls weren't paying much attention to anyone but the books. The only thing that distracted Ryder was checking on Lily. If he took a moment to watch her, it didn't even seem that Ryder knew that she was doing it.

"The books are pretty obscure. Started in '05 until the publisher went bankrupt. Last book was "No Rest For the Wicked," which ends with you going to Hell," Sam explained showing Dean the screen.

"Did you check this out? There's actually fans." He read through the screen. "For fans they sure do complain a lot." Dean read one of the fans complaints. "Well screw you, we lived it."

As if on cue, the girls looked away from the books to the boys. They totally fangirled when they first saw this and every time after.

"Keep reading, it gets better," Sam said. If you didn't know when to look you would've missed the look that said that Sam was very uncomfortable with what he read.

"There are 'Sam girls' and 'Dean girls.'" Dean's look changed to confusion. "What's a slash fan?"

Now Sam showed his feelings about what that meant. "As in Sam slash Dean. Together."

Dean's eyes went wide. "As in together together?" Sam nodded. Dean's facial expression went from shock to disgust. "They do know we're brothers, right?" Sam nodded. "That's disgusting."

Ryder walked up to them at that point clearly not agreeing. "Hey, there's nothing wrong with Wincest."

"Win-what?" asked Dean.

"Winchester and incest put together."

"Like I said, that's disgusting."

"Like I said, there's nothing wrong with it. The lives you two live, I wouldn't blame you if you did end up together. Growing up you were all the other had with the constant moving. No one else to depend on." Ryder rolled her eyes. Lilith had begun crying so Ryder went to pick her up. Turning her attention back to the boys. "You two have a bond that no one in the world will ever understand yet it's something that everyone could only dream about having."

"But we're brothers," Sam tried to reason. He was getting uncomfortable with this conversation and wished it would just end. Dean was thinking along the same lines.

Jenna put her book to the side and watched as Ryder explained her reasoning. She wasn't that much of a Wincest fan. She had no problem with the stories some people wrote about them, but she would rather steer clear of that particular topic. Dean looked at his wife clearly wanting her to say something to Ryder, but all she did was shrug her shoulders. You weren't really apart of Ryder's inner circle until you've had the talk about Wincest.

Ryder looked at her husband. "How many people can say they have a brother who literally went to Hell for them? How many people can say they have a brother who would die so his brother could live? How many people can say they have a brother who would willingly take on the Trials so his brother wouldn't have to? So his brother could live the life he always wanted?" Ryder had a few tears in her eyes. She hated talking about Wincest; it was always a sensitive subject for her. "How many people could say they have a brother who would give or do anything in the world if it meant they could be happy?"

The boys stared at her awestruck at the loyalty she had.

Ryder turned her attention to Dean. "How many people can say they have a brother who thought the world of them? Regardless of what that brother did? How many people can say they have a brother who would spend their whole lives wanting to be just like them? How many can say they have a brother who would rather choose them over a woman they could possibly see their future with?" Ryder said thinking of Amelia. Ryder lowered her voice this time. "How many can say they have a brother who would do anything to bring them back from whatever darkness that had their hooks in them?" She thought of the Mark.

She was silent for moment waiting for an answer she wasn't going to get. Sam had never known that she felt so strongly about this. Yeah, he never thought once of his brother in a romantic way, okay maybe he had, but it was only because of all the people that had thought they were gay. Hearing people assume they were gay,  the thought slips in, but it wasn't like he wanted to act on it, but it didn't matter. He loved his brother so much. He would do all those things for Dean.

Dean on the other hand felt like a dick. He would never agree to what those fans were getting at, and he knew Sam felt the same way, but in Ryder's case he respected her too much to say anything bad about the subject when she clearly felt so strongly for it.

As she was talking to Sam, Dean could see himself doing those things for his brother. Hell, he had done some of those for him, and he would do them again in a heartbeat. Dean loved Sam and nothing was going to change that.

"No one could ever say that. Don't ever overlook the bond you two have, because there are so many of us that would give anything to have even a glimpse of it." Ryder wiped the tears away, "So yeah, if you two were to ever fall in love, your relationship would be the strongest there ever was and ever will be."

She gave Lilith to Jenna when she stopped crying and went straight to the bathroom. Minutes later the shower was on and the room was quiet.

Sam and Dean looked at each other not knowing what to say. What do you say when your wife and sister in law thought it would be okay if you and your brother were to fall in love?

Jenna cleared her throat. "Welcome to Ryder's inner circle."

* * *

Normally the girls would stay at the motel and let the boys handle the cases, but they were finally on the episode where they meet Chuck, so they were definetly going. They hung back and let the their husband play out the episode as best they could; them being there would change things for sure.

Ryder held Lilith on her hip standing next to Jenna as they watched the boys ring the doorbell. Moments later, the door opened revealing Chuck. There were many stories on who Chuck really was. In a way they made sense, and would explain so many things.

"See, here's the thing. We have a life. You've been using it to write your books." Dean shoved the door open and walked in followed by Sam and the girls.

"How are you doing it?" asked Dean looking extremely pissed. Chuck just looked scared shitless. "Are you a hunter?"

"What? No, I'm a writer." Chuck fell back on the couch. "What do you want?"

Sam introduced him and his brother. Chuck refused to believe that. He was convinced that they were just really dedicated and crazy fans. Having no other choice Dean took him to the trunk of his car.

Jenna watched as he showed the weapons to Chuck. As their confrontation played out, Jenna turned her attention to Ryder. She didn't know why, but ever since Ryder woke from her comatose night, she's been off. She didn't want to admit it, but she felt like she wasn't as close to her as before. And the distance between them only proved that.

Having been convinced that Sam and Dean were really who they said they were, Chuck turned his attention to the girls. He had dreams of the brothers getting married, and he also wondered how they felt about coming from another universe. He wondered if they knew and if he was the one who would have to tell them if they didn't.

* * *

The girls settled in the living room watching the boys talk to Chuck, and it went down just as did in the show, word for word.

Chuck turned to the girls wanting to know. "Have you guys learned how you got here, yet?"

That had come out of nowhere so none of them knew what to say.

Chuck was surprised. "Wait. You guys have been here for months, and none of you wondered how you got here or why?"

The girls shook their head. "Do you know?" asked Ryder shifting Lilith from one hip to the other.

"Zachariah brought you here," Chuck said taking a sip of his drink.

Both Dean and Sam were stunned at that. "What?"

"Why would he bring us here?" asked Jenna.

"Because you have something he wants. He brought you here to get it back for his plans."

Jenna didn't seem like she was understanding. "What about the white light?"

Chuck had to think about that for a moment. It's been awhile since he had the dream where the girls came to their universe. "That was all him."

"Why doesn't he just take it then?" asked Jenna.

"The moment the mother accepts her role, the child shall remain hidden. That's all I know."

Dean and Sam were just completely lost as to what was being said. Ryder had a feeling she knew what the angel needed, and if she was right, what the hell was she going to do?

* * *

The boys were given the typed copy of Chuck's book, and set off to do laundry. The girls had agreed to go back to the motel. Dropping the girls off, Jenna went to take a shower. Ryder fed Lilith and sat on the bed watching her play. She needed to know what she was going to do about her? It was only a matter of time before the brothers and Jenna knew about her, and she had to be prepared for whatever might happen.

 _ **"So, what are you going to do about your demonic child?"**_ asked a voice coming from the table in front of Ryder.

Ryder looked up at the sudden noise. "What the hell? I thought I could only see you from my reflections?"

Rain snorted and picked her nails. _**"Oh please, you really thought that would last?"**_ She rolled her eyes. _ **"You weren't talking to me and I got bored, so here I am."**_

"You're ridiculous."

Rain ignored her comment. _**"So again, what are you going to do about her?"**_

"That's none of your concern."

_**"In case you forgot, I'm you so she is my concern."** _

Ryder narrowed her eyes.

Rain sighed in frustration. _**"I may be a bitch to you, but I draw the line at children. Even if that child happens to be an evil demon."**_

"I don't know what I'm going to do. Sam and Dean are going to find out and I have a feeling it's going to be soon. I just hope for once they don't go in guns blazing."

_**"These are the Winchesters we're talking about, of course they will."** _

Ryder rolled her eyes. Talking to Rain reminded her of when Sam saw Lucifer.

As if reading her mind, _**"This is nothing like Sam and Lucifer."**_

"Why is that?"

_**"First of all, I'm not a hallucination. You're just the only one I'm allowing to see me. Second, I'm not tormenting you or driving you insane."** _

"I wouldn't say that."

Rain glared at her and was about to retort when Jenna came out of the shower.

"Who were you talking to?" she asked drying her hair.

"No one."

Jenna was very sad that their relationship wasn't getting any better. She missed her best friend, and wished she knew what went wrong.

* * *

She wanted to ask Jenna if she could watch Lilith, but Ryder had a bad feeling about that idea. Rain never left her after their talk at the motel, so she walked alongside Ryder and Lilith. Ryder had wanted to talk to Chuck while everyone was out. Jenna had decided to go meet up with Sam and Dean.

Ryder knocked on the door waiting very impatiently for Chuck to answer.

 _ **"Why don't you just walk in?"**_ asked Rain. Clearly patience wasn't her strongest trait either. 

Ryder ignored her, and walked in when Chuck yelled for her to come in. He was either stupid for not considering that she could be a murderer or robber, or he was expecting her.

Chuck was typing when he looked up and saw that it was Ryder holding Lilith. He frowned at that. _Did she really have to bring her again?_

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Do you know about her?" she asked motioning to Lilith. She wanted to get straight to the point, _might as well get it over with._

Chuck didn't answer right away. "Yes."

"Do you know the truth about her?" He nodded. "Can you tell me?"

Chuck wasn't ready to talk about this, and if he was being honest with himself he didn't think he ever would be, but she had the right to know.

"The night that you found her, God thought that Lilith deserved redemption just like everyone else; after all she was the first woman to be created." Ryder sat down across from him while Rain just stood next to her. "He thought it would be easy for the angels to find her, so he sent her to another universe; yours. He loved yours and Jenna's loyalty, and found you to be the best choice to help her find redemption."

Ryder listened as Chuck explained. She looked at Rain, but she didn't look like she was paying attention. She was watching the door... waiting?

"Okay, but why a child?" That she didn't understand.

"What better disguise for the most dangerous demon than in the form of a happy child?"

Ryder looked at her daughter, and didn't even try to fight back the few tears that fell. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and saw that it was Rain. Strange.

 _ **"Ryder,''**_ said Rain.

Ryder stood up and looked at him angry. "She's not a demon! She's my daughter."

Chuck stood as well. "Do you hear yourself? This is the same demon that both Sam and Dean are looking for; not to mention the angels. Don't you think that hiding her is going to bite you in the ass?"

 _ **"Ryder,"**_ Rain said a little louder.

"I don't care!" Ryder yelled. "I will do whatever I have to to protect her. I don't care that she's Lilith. She's mine!"

 _ **"Ryder!"**_ screamed Rain.

Ryder turned to scold Rain, when she saw the three people that she was so not looking forward to seeing.

"That's Lilith?" asked Sam. Sam was usually the nice soft hearted of the two brothers, but at the moment he looked just as pissed and cold hearted as Soulless Sam.

* * *

Ryder didn't know what to say. How could she be so stupid and careless? From the others point of view it looked liked Ryder was just angry, but from Ryder's, she was glaring at Rain. Some help she was.

Sam couldn't believe what he just heard. Lilith was the child that he looked at as his own. He has been looking for Lilith for almost a year, and she's been with them the entire time. How could he be so stupid!?

"What the hell are you doing with Lilith?" asked Dean trying to control his anger. He was so pissed at Ryder. How could she be so stupid as not to tell them?

Jenna could see the boys were beyond pissed, and they weren't going to get anywhere if they didn't think straight. Maybe Ryder didn't know that Lily was really Lilith.

Sam was walking closer to Ryder, and she instinctively stepped back. She loved Sam, but there was no way she was going to let any of them hurt Lilith.

"How long have you known?" Sam asked with so much venom.

"Awhile."

Dean was going to step up and say something, but the look on Sam's face made him stay out of it. Although he wanted to yell at Ryder, she was Sam's wife. So he'll be a good brother, and let him deal with his wife. At least for now.

"How long is 'awhile'?''

"Since the day Anna became an angel." Ryder felt like she betrayed them, and maybe in some ways she did, but she couldn't bring herself to regret what she did. Lilith was her daughter, and even though she was once the demon that hurt them, she wasn't now.

"And when were you going to tell us?" Sam was torn between the little girl that he grew to see as his own, and the demon that had killed his brother and wanted him dead.

While Sam and Ryder were arguing, Dean moved to Chuck who was silently watching the confrontation.

"Is that really Lilith?"

Chuck nodded. He had hoped this wouldn't happen. That was all Dean needed to know. Since their argument wasn't going anywhere Dean stepped in.

"Ryder, give her to us." Dean held out his hands. "We'll make it quick."

She scoffed. "I'm not letting you kill her." She stepped back further.

Before Dean could respond, Sam spoke up. "You gave me a choice back in the warehouse, Ryder." He said calmly. Ryder looked at him, and furrowed her brows. "You made me choose between Ruby and you, and I chose you." He stepped closer. "I'm giving you a choice. It's either me, or Lilith." He crossed his arms.

Ryder's jaw dropped. How dare he! This was completely different. She bowed her head in defeat. She hated this so much, and it broke her heart at the choice she was about to make. _Please forgive me._ She looked at her daughter and smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry, I can't choose. I love you both."

Sam fought back the tears that wanted freedom. He needed to get away. He needed some time alone. Without saying anything more, he turned to leave.

Ryder's heart was shattering as she watched Sam walk away. "Sam, please don't go." She was crying now. Sam gave no hint that he heard her.

Dean frowned at his brother, "I'm sorry Ryder,'' and followed him.

Jenna was torn between her best friend and husband. She felt bad for Ryder, but Dean was her husband.

Ryder could see Jenna trying to make a choice between her and Dean. It wasn't really much of a choice, because she never would've been picked. Whether or not Dean was her husband, he always came first.

"I'm sorry." Jenna followed after Dean and Sam.

Ryder heard the door close, and she fell to her knees and cried. Chuck moved to her side and comforted her as best he could.

She was alone now, and all because God chose her to help a demon.

* * *

Jenna walked out of the house after Dean. He was waiting by the car for her, and she could see Sam in the backseat staring off in the distance. She frowned. What was he going to do? What was _she_ going to do? She loved Ryder as the sister she never got to have, but she chose Dean. As they were pulling away, they all turned to the house when they heard a heartbreaking scream.

She didn't regret going with Dean, after all he was her husband, but what was she going to do about Ryder? She thought back to their time here, and she couldn't help but realize that when she wanted to help the brothers hunt, she didn't. She had been busy with Ryder and the trials. All she's been doing is watching Lily no... Lilith, while Ryder went off to play hero. Everything had been about her. She suddenly felt like a shitty friend.

Dean drove the car in silence watching everyone think about what they were going to do. He loved Ryder, but he couldn't help but be pissed that she kept something like this from them. She knew the entire time that the little girl that they had all come to love was Lilith. The same Lilith that held his contract. The same Lilith that had him killed. The same Lilith that wanted his brother dead. What were they supposed to do with that? Were they supposed to ignore it? He frowned. He knew the one thing that they weren't supposed to do, and they did it.

Sam didn't know what he was supposed to do with the information that he just received. He felt like a horrible person for leaving his best friend, and an even more horrible husband for leaving his wife. He heard the pain and regret in Ryder's scream as they pulled away. He didn't want to leave her there, but he had to get away to think straight. Now that he did, what was he supposed to think? He loved Ryder with everything that he had, but was he supposed to ignore that she kept something this important from them?

He suddenly smiled when he remembered the day he spent with Lily. Putting aside the fact that he knew who Lily really was, he loved her. He saw her as his own, and he wanted to be the father that he never had. John was a good man, but he wasn't the best father. He tried, and he raised them right when it came to hunting. Sam didn't want to be like that. Sure he would do everything he could to have his daughter grow up in something of a normal setting, but he would give her the option if she wanted to hunt when she was older. What he didn't understand is if that really was Lilith, then why was she so sweet and happy? Looking at Lily, he didn't see Lilith at all. So what was he supposed to do? Lily his daughter, or Lilith the demon?

Almost arriving at the motel, Sam came to a decision. "Dean?''

"What?"

"Go back."

* * *

Ryder put Lilith on the ground, and let out the most painful heart wrenching scream she could muster up. Why did he leave? Was he not coming back? Did he hate her? What was she going to do? She just lost the three of the most important people in her life.

Hearing her mommy cry made Lilith very sad. She didn't like it when her mommy was hurting. Lilith wondered why her daddy left when her mommy was sad. Did he not love them anymore? Was it something that she did? If she did something to her daddy, she was very sorry. Lilith didn't want her daddy angry with her or her mommy. Lilith wanted to make her mommy feel better.

"Momma?" Ryder heard. She looked up, and saw Lilith holding her hands out for to take. Ryder picked her up, and hugged her as if she was going to disappear at any moment.

As she held Lilith, Chuck watched. Such a broken heart, and the only one that could mend it was gone.

"How is that no one has recognized her as a demon?" She thought back to the episode, and remembered that the angels and demons could recognize another demon by just looking at them. So, why not with her?

''Because you accepted your role." He was quiet for a few minutes. "Are you going to do the third trial?"

Ryder looked up at him and smiled sadly. "Yes."

"Why?"

Ryder looked away. "I have every reason not to complete it, but I have one reason to finish them: the brothers." She sighed. "The things I saw in my old world were too much, and to know that they're real here makes me all the more willing to finish it. I don't want Sam or Dean to go through what my Sam and Dean went through."

"What about her?" Chuck said motioning to Lilith.

"Hopefully one of them would be able to take her in." She suddenly thought of something. "Cas?" She called out.

She looked around, and she heard a flutter of wings.

"Yes?"

Chuck was amazed that Castiel was in his living room. He had been wanting to meet him ever since he first dreamt of him pulling Dean out of hell. He looked around his house, and saw a bunch of liquor bottles, and frowned. This wasn't the perfect time to be visited by an angel of the Lord.

"Do you know of a way to transfer a demon from one body to another?" She got to her feet holding onto Lilith a little more tighter. Precaution.

Castiel tilt his head in confusion. "Why do you wish to know that?" He looked around the house. "Where are the others?"

Ryder ignored that. "Do you know who this is?" She asked.

Castiel looked at Lilith, and quickly tensed up. How could he have not noticed? As soon as she asked that, he could see the child for what she was. A demon. And not just any demon, but Lilith. What was Ryder doing with Lilith?"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Give me the child!" He ordered stepping closer.

Ryder took a step back. "Stop! You know what'll happen if you kill her." He stopped. "I love you Cas, but if you try to hurt her, I will kill you." She didn't want it to come to that, but she would if she had to no matter how important he was or will be.

"Why do you want to know?" he asked again.

"I'm doing something important, and I can't do it with her being this young. She'll need to be older for it to go smoothly." She wanted Lilith to grow normally, but in order for it to work she needed an older child. She just hoped that it wouldn't be too painful.

"How old?"

"At least six or seven, and someone who isn't being occupied by someone else." She thought of what Ruby did. With that he was gone. She hoped she was doing the right thing.

* * *

Ryder sat on the couch, and watched Lilith play with a few of her toys that she had brought with them. She looked out the window. It was already dark, and it didn't seem like the others were coming back. She wanted to cry for what she did, but she fought them back. Now wasn't the time for that. She had more important things to do, so she promised to let herself cry later.

She checked her watch, and saw that it was time for Lilith to go to bed. Chuck had offered them the spare room, but she refused. They would take the couch since she would be leaving in the morning. To do what she didn't know.

After she put Lilith to sleep, she joined Chuck in the other room. He was currently working on his current book. "Have you had any dreams about me?"

He stopped typing, and looked at her confused.

"About me and someone I recently met."

It took a moment to understand what she was getting at, but he understood. "You mean Rain." It was more of a statement than a question.

"What is she?" She looked around, and saw that Rain was watching Lilith. Ryder was surprised that she was quiet the entire time, but somehow she was happy that she was still here. Was that strange?

Chuck didn't answer right away; he needed to find the right words. "How bad is your temper?"

"Um... pretty bad."

"Okay, think of your anger in human form."

She did and hated what she thought of. She knew how bad her temper could be, and that's on a normal day.

"You're saying-''

"Rain is your anger."

"If that's true, then what's with the black eyes? Last time I checked, I'm not a demon." That was something she didn't understand.

Chuck sighed and pushed his keyboard away. "Your anger is so bad, that it's on equal level as the average demon."

* * *

Morning came, and Ryder was just getting up. She looked down next to her, and quickly got up when she didn't see Lilith next to her. What the hell? Where was she? Did someone take her?

She saw Rain sleeping in the chair across from her, and didn't bother questioning that. She ran into the kitchen, and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw a little girl sitting at the table eating cereal.

"Excuse me?" She stepped closer. "Who are you?"

The little girl looked up from her breakfast and smiled big. "Morning mommy."

Ryder gasped. The little girl jumped out of the chair, and ran to hug Ryder. She had long black hair and blue eyes. She wore a blue dress, but no shoes.

"Mommy, where's daddy?" At the mention of Sam broke her heart. She wanted to know the very same thing. "Is he coming back?"

Ryder put on a smile, "Yeah, baby he's coming back." She kissed her forehead, and told her to finish eating.

A couple hours later, Ryder had everything that Castiel brought her for Lilith's new body. She felt sad that Lilith wasn't a baby anymore. On the bright side, now she won't have to worry about diapers.

She walked out the front door holding onto Lilith's hand, and stopped in her tracks at the sight before her. Sam stood leaning on the side door, watching her.

"What are you doing here?" She didn't want to get her hopes up that he wanted to be with her.

Sam walked up to her, and pulled her in the most loving embrace he could muster. "I'm so sorry," he whispered in her ear. "I'm sorry for leaving."

Ryder hugged him back. It didn't matter if it was only for one night, Ryder missed him so much. "I'm sorry too."

Sam pulled back, "I love you." He looked down at the child next to Ryder.

Lilith looked up, "Daddy!" She held her arms out for him to pick her up. He complied.

Hiding his shock for Lily's sake, "Hi, baby." He kissed her cheek without even thinking about it. Ryder was thrilled seeing that.

"Are you going to leave us again?" she asked leaning her head on his shoulder.

Sam looked at Ryder, and could see that she wanted to know the answer as well. "No, I'm not leaving you," he said never looking away from Ryder. She smiled.

He held out his hand for her to take, and she did.

"Alright, you made up. Let's go!" yelled Dean once he got out of the car.

Ryder smiled big when she saw that Dean and Jenna were there. She had her family back! She looked back at Rain who was standing behind her staring off into space. Sam carried Lilith so Dean and Jenna could meet her in her new form.

"You coming?" Ryder asked Rain.

Ryder looked at her and smirked. _**"What? You thought you were going to get rid of me? You're going to need me, it's just a matter of when you're going to accept that."**_

Ryder knew herself better than anyone, and the look that Rain gave her clearly said, _I know something you don't._


	19. Chapter 19

Ryder didn't know what she was supposed to do with Rain. Obviously she couldn't make her go away, because that would involve accepting her. And she didn't want to know what that would involve from her. Although she thought at first that she might be able to control her, she had a feeling that she was going to need help.

The car ride after leaving Chuck's was quiet, but it wasn't the awkward silence, more of the peaceful silence. Arriving at their new motel, everyone unpacked. She knew the other's wanted an explanation for what happened to Lilith, and she was going to give it to them, but not while Lilith was in the room.

Jenna wasn't completely okay with being in the same company as Lilith, because for all they knew at any moment the demon in her would be unleashed, and then they would all be screwed. She had voiced her concern to the brothers the night before, but they had assured her that if that were to happen it would've happened already. She just had to trust that the brothers and Ryder knew what they were getting themselves into.

* * *

Unpacking their things they all settled in their beds realizing that it was too early to eat. They all looked at Ryder, and she nodded. She didn't want them to think badly of her any more than they did when they found out about her.

"Lily?" Ryder asked the little girl.

Lilith looked up, "Yes, mommy?"

"It's time to take a nap," she said making the bed for her.

Lilith groaned. "But I'm not tired," she said yawning.

Ryder smiled. "Of course you're not."

Lilith got in the bed, and almost instantly she was asleep. Ryder kissed her forehead, and turned to the others.

"So?" she said not knowing where to start.

"Tell us everything." Dean said. He may not have liked the idea that the demon they have been looking for was sleeping a few feet from them, but he was forcing himself to think about Lily his niece; which made it easier and comfortable.

Ryder took a deep breath, and told them everything Chuck said leaving out the parts with Rain. Speaking of which, Ryder could see that Rain was sitting on the table just watching them. The way Rain looked made her uneasy yet she wasn't bothered by it.

 _ **"Have you ever once considered that they may be lying to you?"**_ Rain asked. When she didn't get a response, _**"Seriously? For all you know, they could be playing you and when you let your guard down, they'll kill her."**_

Ryder ignored her, and continued talking. She did consider that possibility but she knew the brothers wouldn't do that. By the time she finished, no one knew what to say. Each were all in their own thoughts processing what they have been told.

"What happened to the baby?" asked Jenna.

Ryder shook her head, "I don't know. Castiel never told me, and I really didn't want to ask."

Now that the silence was broken, Dean spoke up. "So why doesn't she know what she is?"

Ryder shrugged her shoulders. "I'm assuming if God turned her into a child, He blocked her memory."

They were interrupted when Lilith cried out. Sam rushed to her side, and held her trying to calm her down. "It's okay baby, it's just a bad dream."

Out of nowhere, Lilith began to cry. Ryder rushed to their side, "What's wrong?" Lilith didn't answer, and got out of her daddy's arms. They watched her walk up to Dean, who looked both concerned and confused.

Lilith held out her arms for Dean to pick her up. Dean complied. "I'm sorry, Uncle Dean." She wiped her tears away on her sleeve.

"For what?"

"I didn't mean for the doggies to hurt you." Dean jerked his head up wide eyed at the others. So much for their theory.

* * *

Everyone was worried that Lilith would remember what she did as a demon. They didn't want her to know, but then again how could she find redemption if she didn't know what she did? But they didn't care about that, they didn't want her to be like the psychotic little girl from season three.

Ryder knew it was time for her to talk about Rain, and she was a little scared on what their reactions would be. Would they think she was crazy? Would they think she was a demon? Or evil? She just hoped that they wouldn't think badly of her, or at least not too badly.

She had asked Dean and Jenna if they could watch Lilith so her and Sam could talk. She was a little hesitant about leaving her with them, but she felt like she could trust them.

Sam was worried about being told that Ryder needed to talk to him about something. By the look on her face, he could tell it was something serious. He didn't know how much more he could take in such a short time. He was still coming to terms about Lily's true identity, but he was starting to ignore that part of her. After all, he wasn't one to talk.

Since seeing his daughter, he could easily think she was just a normal little girl. He couldn't see an ounce of the demon that she was. He was a little sad that she was no longer a baby, because this was his first child and he wanted to go through the stages of her development. He didn't want to miss it, and now that she was older, he felt some loss.

Ryder was incredibly nervous, and as soon as Dean and Jenna left with Lilith, she prepared herself. She didn't want to waste any more time waiting; she figured stalling wouldn't do her any good.

"Sam?" She received a hmm in response. She took a deep breath. "I have something to tell you." She looked behind Sam to the table, and saw that Rain looked at them wanting to hear as well.

"What's wrong?" He moved closer to her.

"Remember when I went to sleep and didn't wake up?" Sam nodded. "Something happened and I think it's time you knew what happened while I was out."

Sam's heart picked up speed. He didn't know why, but he scared about what had happened. He wanted to know what happened from the moment she woke up, but he didn't want to push her, and end up doing more harm than good. He knew by the look in her eyes that something bad happened, but he wanted to wait until she was ready to tell on her own.

"Before Dean came for me, I woke up in my ex boyfriend's bedroom, and I was so scared that meeting you and Dean was all a dream.'' She smiled sadly. "I don't know what I would've done if it was. I needed you both to be real. I needed you, and at that moment I was alone."

Sam wanted to comfort her and hold her, but he knew she needed no interruptions if she was going to go through it all. So he settled for holding her hand.

"I was stuck in the memory of being with my abusive boyfriend. I loved him and believed he loved me. I wanted him to love me." She looked away in shame. "He beat me and left me lying there on the ground."

Sam didn't care if it was just a memory, he was pissed. Someone hurt his wife, and he couldn't do anything for. Lilith was no longer the number one on his list of people to kill. Her ex just had the honor of taking her place.

She suddenly smiled huge. "Then Dean came and I was so happy! Seeing him there meant that you both were real. I didn't dream you up."

Ryder went on to tell him about the other memories, and every second that she talked, Sam grew more and more angry. What the fuck was wrong with those people?! Part of him was hoping that at any moment she was going to tell him it was all a joke, but he knew she wasn't. When it came time for her to talk about Rain, she noticed that Rain was giving them her undivided attention. She was curious, but why?

"Please don't think that I'm crazy when I tell you this, okay?" Sam nodded. "Before Dean and I came back, I met someone. The one that brought me there." Ryder explained to him the best way she knew how.

Sam sat there trying to take it all in. "Is she here now?"

Ryder nodded and pointed to the table where Rain was still sitting.

Sam looked and turned back to Ryder. "What was the point?" Ryder looked at him confused. "I mean, I get that she wants you to free her, but what was the point of showing you those memories?"

Ryder frowned. She never thought of that. She looked at Rain wanting to know the same thing. Rain sighed.

_**"The point was to show you how locking me away only hurt you and allowed other people to hurt you. Accepting me would change all that."** _

Ryder replayed what she was told to Sam. Sam didn't like that. Sure it sounded like Rain cared for Ryder, but if what Chuck said about her, it was probably best to let her be. It's not like she'll ever need to accept her, right?

* * *

By dinnertime, everyone settled in. Since neither brother had found a hunt, they decided to take advantage of relaxation. Lilith had fallen asleep after she ate, and the others were on the verge as well.

Something had bothered Ryder ever since Sam came back for her. Why? It would have made more sense for him to stay away, or at least try to kill Lilith, but they didn't.

Ryder voiced her concerns to the others. Neither brother nor Jenna answered right away.

_(Flashback)_

"Dean?" Sam had made his choice.

"Yeah?"

"Go back."

Dean pulled the car over in the motel parking lot, but made no move to get out or drive back. He wanted to go back to Ryder, and apologize for leaving her, but he couldn't help but feel angry with her. She had Lilith with them for a long time now, and she didn't tell them. Something like this needed to be announced the moment she found out the truth.

"Are you sure?"

Sam sighed. "I don't know, but I can't just leave her there." And he couldn't. It didn't matter what Ryder did, Sam loved her and he was going to have to talk to her either way.

Dean turned so he was facing Sam, "I love Ryder, I do and I'm glad she makes you happy, but you have to be sure about this. You can't ignore that that baby is the same Lilith that killed me, and wants you dead."

Sam ran his hand through his hair, "I am sure. She must have had a good reason for not telling us, and we didn't actually give her a chance to explain." He couldn't get her scream out of his head, and all he wanted to do right then was to go see her. He couldn't leave her alone. Sam looked at Jenna. "What do you think?"

Jenna didn't look at either brother. "Well to be honest, I'm a little worried, but I know Ryder. She would never intentionally put either of you in any harm. If she did keep who Lily was from us, then she must have thought she wasn't dangerous."

"I love her, and I can't just not be with her."

Dean sighed. "If you're going to go back, fine, I'll back you up, but you have to know that if you want her, you have to have Lilith too."

"Look, all I see when I look at the baby is Lily, my daughter. Everything else, we'll work out."

Dean turned off the car, and went to open the door. "You're right, but you have to remember if we're going to do this, then we have to protect her from the angels."

Sam nodded. There was no way he was going to let the angels hurt what was his. Dean got out of the car, and Jenna went to follow.

"Wait, where are you going?"

Dean stuck his head back in the car, "If you're serious about playing daddy with a demon in the morning, I'll take you. Right now, she's asleep and you need to get some sleep yourself."

The next morning, Dean and Jenna cuddled with each other. Dean was having a very sexy dream about him and Jenna. He was then being jerked awake. He groaned, "What?"

"Let's go." Sam said walking out the door.

_(End flashback)_

* * *

Jenna was in the motel room watching TV with Dean, except they weren't watching TV; they were too busy making out. They were interrupted with a cough. They broke apart and looked up.

"Anna?"

"Hello, Jenna." Anna said.

Jenna looked next to her and saw that Dean was gone. "I'm dreaming?"

"I had to find a way to speak with you alone."

Jenna rose to her feet, and crossed her arms. "What do you want?"

"I know you and Ryder came from another universe."

Jenna shrugged her shoulders. "So does all the other angels."

"I know you want to stay here with the Winchesters, and now that I'm an angel again, I have the power to send you back."

Jenna's heart skipped a beat. She didn't want to go back. If she went back, she would have to be with her father again. She took a step back shaking her head. Dean was her life now, no way could she just accept that.

"If you want to stay here, then I need something from you."

"What?"

"The demon child you have with you," Anna said looking around the motel room.

"What do you want with her?"

"That's none of your concern. She's the demon that could start the apocalypse. We need her to come with us. What we do is our business."

"She's with Ryder, there's no way I can do that." She felt awful that she was even talking about this. She felt like a terrible friend for even considering kidnapping her friend's kid.

Anna stepped closer to her, "If you don't bring us the child, you will be sent back to your pathetic universe. No more Dean and Sam."

Before Jenna could respond, she was suddenly awake lying next to Dean. Dean felt her wake, and held her tightly.

"Are you okay?'' he mumbled.

Jenna took a deep breath and tried to calm her racing heart. Should she tell him? They all did have a right to know what was going on, but if she did say anything Anna could send them back to their old world. Ryder needed to know what was being planned with her daughter. If they were sent back, she wouldn't be with Dean anymore. Is it worth risking her life with Dean? Would she be a horrible person if she gave the angels Lilith?

"No."

Dean could hear the fear in her voice and was suddenly wide awake. "What's wrong?"

Jenna told him what Anna said, and by the end Sam and Ryder were awake and alert.

Both Sam and Ryder were really pissed off. Who the hell did Anna think she was? Ryder pulled Lilith closer to her, but not enough to wake her. Before they went to sleep, they had warded the room against angels.

The next morning as the sunlight brightened the room, Sam went to wake up Lilith to eat breakfast, but when he saw the space next to Ryder empty he freaked out. He jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom thinking she was in there; nothing.

"RYDER!" he screamed. He was in full panic mode. His daughter was missing.

Dean, Jenna and Ryder woke up and ran to Sam thinking he was in trouble.

"What's wrong?" asked Dean.

"She's gone.''

"Who?" asked Jenna rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

Sam swallowed the lump in his throat. "Lilith." Ryder's eyes widen. "Lily's gone."

* * *

Ryder was trying to calm her anger. Her daughter was gone. Lilith was gone. She needed her back!

"How did Anna even get in here?" asked Dean. "I thought the symbol would keep the angels out."

Ryder went to the symbol that she had Jenna draw on the wall. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She studied the symbol, and her heart picked up speed. She slowly turned her attention to Jenna. She didn't notice before, but Rain had been glaring at Jenna ever since they woke up.

She slowly walked to Jenna who looked incredibly guilty. "Was it worth it?"

Sam and Dean looked at Ryder confused.

Jenna looked up at her, guilt and sadness in her eyes, but Ryder ignored it. "You were supposed to be my friend, and you let her take my daughter."

"Ryder, what are you talking about?" asked Dean.

 _ **"Beat her ass!"**_ Rain yelled. She got to her feet, _**"No, you know what? Let me do it."**_

"The symbol isn't right. Jenna didn't draw the symbol right."

Dean and Sam turned their attention to the wall.

"Why would you do that?" asked Sam.

Jenna was crying at this point. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't go back. I love Dean, and I couldn't go back to my father."

Dean looked at her with so much disappointment. He loved her, but right then he was so mad at her. When he heard about what Anna told Jenna, he didn't once consider giving her up. He was flattered that Jenna loved him that much, but they don't put the lives of children in harm's way.

Ryder pushed Jenna, "You better hope that Lilith is alive! If she's dead, don't you ever come near me again." She looked away. "Cas!"

A flutter of wings were heard behind them. "Yes?"

"Take me to Lilith. Now!" She yelled when he didn't move. "Please! She's just a child."

Castiel didn't want to take them. A voice that he didn't recognize wanted the apocalypse to come, because then the world could finally be at peace. Another wanted the Winchesters to win, and that voice was just as louder than the voice that spoke his orders. He walked up to the group and with a simple touch they found themselves in a warehouse.

Dean looked around the warehouse and saw that it looked just as typical as the cliched warehouse. In front of them all was a group of angels, and in the center of them all was Lilith crying... and scared.

* * *

Ryder stepped forward as soon as she saw her daughter crying. Her motherly instincts kicked in, but Sam held her back. They had to go about this smart.

"Castiel, what are you doing?" asked Zachariah.

Castiel stayed quiet. He chose his side when he brought them to his brothers and sisters. Ryder was grateful for what he did for them, but was surprised that he betrayed them in a different way. Right now wasn't the time to think about that.

"Give me my daughter!" Ryder yelled.

"Your daughter?" Zachariah spat out. "Such a disgrace! You call this abomination your daughter?"

"Mommy!" Lilith cried out when another angel grabbed her hair.

 _ **"Come on Ryder; accept me. Say yes!"**_ Rain yelled from in front of her.

Ryder ignored her. "Why are you doing this?"

Anna stepped forward. "She's an abomination. She needs to be destroyed."

_**"Ryder, this is no time to think about right and wrong! Lilith needs you, and you need me!"** _

"Please, she's just a child. Give her back." She wasn't one for showing her emotions in front of others, besides the brothers and Jenna.

An angel pulled out an angel blade and cut Lilith's throat a little earning a cry of pain from the little girl. Both Ryder and Rain cried out.

_**"Ryder, do it now!"** _

Ryder felt conflicted. What was she supposed to do? If she let Rain in, would she still be herself? What's going to happen? She was scared.

"Sam?" Sam looked at her, and she smiled sadly. She walked up to him and kissed him. "Forgive me.'' she whispered against his lips.

Sam frowned, and then it clicked. "Don't do this. You don't know what would happen."

"I love you." She looked at her daughter terrified. "Yes!"

Rain smirked and kissed Ryder gently _ **. "Show time.''**_

To everyone's point of view, they see Ryder fall to her knees, and screamed for nothing. To Ryder's, her body felt like it was on fire.

When it was over, 'Ryder' got to her knees, and smirked. Sam could see that it was no longer his wife that was standing before them, but Rain.

 _ **"Hello. Pleasure to meet you all."**_ Rain gave a mock bow and walked in up to the angels, ignoring the other's protests.

"Who are you?" asked Anna confused. She could see the difference in energy as soon as she stood up.

 _ **"Name's Rain, and you have something's that mine. Give me my daughter, and you all could leave this place alive."**_ She thought about it, _**"Actually, I might just kill you anyway, but I'll make it quick."**_

* * *

Dean didn't know what he was seeing, but he knew it wasn't his sister in law. He had a feeling it something to do with the room that he couldn't get into when he was in her head.

"Ryder, be careful they're angels," said Jenna. She felt guilty about what she did, and she wanted to make it right. She knew she wouldn't be able to get in Ryder's graces, but she could do something.

Rain turned to look at her and sneered, _**"Shut up, bitch! This is your fault anyway."**_ She sighed dramatically, _**"I'm getting bored."**_ She walked up to the angels and went to reach for her daughter like the angels weren't even there. An angel stood in front of her blocking Lilith.

"Leave now, or you die."

 _ **"My thoughts exactly."**_ Her eyes turned black, and she shoved him against the wall like she was swatting a fly. She turned to look at Castiel. ** _"You want to help Pretty Boy?"_**

Out of nowhere the fight broke out; Castiel and Rain against the angels. Regardless if Rain wasn't an actual demon, she could hold her own against the angels.

It didn't take long before the fight came to end. Anna and Zachariah took off when they realized their chances of victory were slim. Rain looked at the bodies scattered all over the floor and frowned. Now that she and Ryder were now one, she could feel her emotions toward what she did. She fought against those emotions.

While Rain and Castiel were fighting the angels, Sam and Dean went to get Lilith away.

Lilith clung to her daddy's shirt. Lilith was very happy that her daddy saved her. "I love you daddy," she said.

Sam smiled. "I love you too baby."

Rain gathered herself together before she turned to the others. Her eyes were still black, and she tried all she could do to get them back to normal.

The others watched in fear at what they saw. They were hoping that she was possessed, because if that were the case then they could deal with that.

 _"Rain, you're scaring everyone. I gave you what you wanted, but remember this is my body,"_  Ryder said in her head.

Rain rolled her eyes. _ **"Yeah, yeah, but don't think this is the end of me."** _ She closed her eyes, and when she opened them her eyes were back to the bright green they once were.

"What the hell was that?" asked Dean.

Ryder ignored him and embraced Lilith. She was so happy Lilith was safe, and she broke down still holding her. Sam held them both wanting them to ease their pain. Sam was very sad, because no little girl should ever be put through what she did.

"Mommy you saved me," Lilith cried.

She rubbed her back, "I'll always save you. It's okay sweetheart. You're safe."

"What the hell was that?" Dean asked again. He held Jenna's hand since she tended be able to calm him down.

"Rain," she simply said. Ryder turned to Castiel who was still with them. "Thank you Cas."

He nodded. He took them back to the motel, and Ryder still clung to Lilith not wanting to let her go.

Sam could see that Ryder wasn't in the mood to explain, so when he got her consent to tell them, he did.

Dean was confused and amazed. Confused with Rain, and amazed that he finally got to see Ryder fight... or was it Rain? Did it count that it was Rain fighting? Damn, he didn't think it did.

* * *

"I'm sorry Ryder," Jenna said when the boys went out to get dinner. Jenna didn't want it to be awkward between them. She didn't want their to be tension between them every time they were alone, or in the same room.

Now that Rain was with her, Ryder was having all the more trouble controlling her anger. This was the whole reason she locked her away. This was something she wanted to avoid. If she couldn't get it under control, she was going to lose herself, and she was afraid of what it would do to her family.

"Do something like that again, and we are done. You're supposed to be my friend, and you had let them kidnap my child Jenna let a few tears go. "I'm only forgiving you because for one, I love Dean, and two because we have history."

That night, Rain watched the others sleep. Castiel had appeared, and stood next to Rain. "Are you going to tell them?"

Rain shook her head. _**"No. It's best they don't know. Ryder's going to complete the trials, so what's the point?"**_

Castiel sighed. "This isn't just about you, this is about them too." He disappeared.

Rain walked up to Ryder and kissed her gently and she vanished into Ryder's body. She just hoped that she was doing the right thing.


	20. Chapter 20

Ryder didn't know why, but Rain had seemed off for the past couple of weeks. She wanted to ask her and see what was up, but something always got in the way.

The boys had gone on a few hunts here and there. Ever since Jenna's betrayal, she had been determined to go with them. Ryder was okay with that, and even though she had forgiven her as much as she could, Ryder had not once left Lilith with Jenna. If she did, Dean or Sam had to be with her. Jenna was her friend, but it would take awhile before she could fully trust her again.

Jenna felt terrible for what she did to not only Ryder, but to Sam. Ever since she noticed that Ryder wouldn't leave Lilith alone with her, it only reminded her of what she did. She had talked to Dean, and he agreed to let her hunt with them. He understood that it was more than just her wanting to help them. He wasn't going to question her until he felt that it was doing more harm than good.

They were all currently driving to another hunt which was just a simple salt and burn.

"Daddy," Lilith whined from the backseat, "I'm hungry.

Sam smiled from the front and shared a look with Dean who nodded. Since they were all adults they could hold off longer without eating anything, but they had no choice when it came to Lilith.

"Yeah me too." Dean said.

Sam went back to the map he had in hand, "I think there's a sandwich in the back."

Dean glared at him because they both knew that the sandwich had been in the back for quite some time. Sam smirked. He had told Dean to throw it out awhile back, but Dean kept putting it off.

Jenna furrowed her brows, _why did that sound familiar?_

They figured they wait just a little longer, since they weren't that far from the next town... until, "Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom."

Dean groaned. He had been wanting to go straight on through to the next town, but he couldn't do anything but pull over. A child's bladder could only hold for so long, and although he loved Lilith he wasn't going to risk his car just because he wanted to keep driving.

Ryder got out of the car with Lilith and some toilet paper and went behind a few bushes. Dean and Sam turned to give them some privacy. Jenna got out the car and stood next to her husband happy when he wrapped his arms around her; holding her. He didn't know why he did it, but he felt that she needed it.

"Dean-" Sam was interrupted when he heard a phone ring. Dean unwrapped his arms and went into the glove box to get a phone that was once his dads.

Jenna was hit with the realization which episode they were in now. Adam. It was confirmed when the look on Dean's face went blank. The Winchesters were about to meet their long lost half brother.

Dean had driven them all out to the diner in the next town. He didn't like the idea of someone using his dad as a way to get to them. The man was dead, so if they wanted to get to them the least they could do was use a better way. But now that they did, they were already dead in his book.

The brothers went into the diner leaving the girls out by the car. Jenna had told them she needed to talk to Ryder alone, and other than a few suspicious looks they went inside.

"What?"

"Should we tell them about Adam?" Jenna wasn't really up to the way this was going to play out if they left it alone.

Ryder had thought about that since Dean first got the call. "We should, but we're not."

"Why not?"

Ryder sighed. "I don't want them to get hurt any more than you do, but they have every right to know about him. He went down like a hunter, so he deserves to be put to rest like one." With that she went to the diner to join the brothers.

They all ate in the diner, and waited patiently for 'Adam' to show up. Ryder decided that she and Lilith would go to a different table to let the conversation play out like it was supposed to. Even though Ryder wanted to yell at the impostor as soon as he walked in, she figured that there were some things that needed to be done first before you try and change the outcome. That and also because she didn't want to tempt herself and kill the guy.

Ryder watched as the brothers and Jenna were with Adam. It went exactly like it did from the show but the only difference was was that Jenna was in it. Ryder was asked to go with them to investigate his mother's death, but she used the excuse that she didn't want Lilith anywhere near the hunt. The truth was Ryder was getting more and more weak. She remembered how Sam felt from the show, but the way it made Sam feel, that was nothing. This right now felt so much worse.

* * *

The situation with the ghouls who pretended to be Adam and his mother played out exactly as expected. She wanted to join the brothers and Jenna, but she couldn't get up. She remembered how Sam saw the process of what he went through. _The trials are cleansing me._ She didn't see it that way. She understood how he could, but right now she just felt horrible.

"Mommy, are you okay?" Lilith asked laying down next to her. Her mommy has been very sick, and she wanted her mommy to feel better. Where was her daddy?

Ryder smiled tiredly. "I'm okay sweetheart. Just tired."

She closed her eyes trying to relax. She knew what was going to become of her in such a short time, and she had to do something for her family. Her eyes shot open. She had been putting off the third trial for some time now, and she knew that sooner or later she was going to have to complete it. Sooner or later she was going to die.

She got out of the bed, got her shoes and jacket and did the same with Lilith. She wrote a quick note to the brothers and left the room.

* * *

Ryder and Lilith sat in the motel room watching cartoons, which annoyed her but she laughed along with Lilith anyway. Lilith had woken up from a nap, when they got back, from another nightmare. Lilith dreamt that she had killed two cops and a 'nice lady'. Ryder frowned when she heard that. She remembered that episode. Lilith kept apologizing, and in the end Ryder had told her it was just a bad dream. How do you tell your daughter that when she was a demon, she had killed and tortured innocent people? You don't.

When Dean, Sam and Jenna came back, Ryder knew that they had found Adam's body. She got up from the bed and went to hug Dean. She knew he had taken the whole situation with Adam harder than Sam. She held him and tried to get him to stop shaking. Sam got Lilith dressed and they went to Adam's funeral.

No one spoke, not even saying what they did in the show. They just watched as Adam's body burned. Jenna holding onto Dean, while Ryder holding Lilith held Sam's hand. Although trying to prevent the apocalypse from happening was their number one goal, both Ryder and Jenna were sad that it won't, because without the apocalypse Dean and Sam won't meet Adam. On the other hand without the apocalypse Adam wouldn't go to Hell.

* * *

Castiel watched as his brothers and sisters hurt what was important to his friends. What really concerned him was that his sister that he hasn't seen in years has joined them. He felt something he couldn't quite name when it came to the Winchesters.

As he stood in front of her, he couldn't help but wish that it didn't come to this. It was one thing to have had to kill his brothers for what Ryder said they were going to do. It was another when it came to a sister that gave up everything to have what the humans have.

"Anna."

Anna looked up from her beaten state. She felt no shame or regret for what she did or for what she tried to do. She wanted to rid the world of a dangerous demon. The very same demon that the Winchesters were protecting and calling them their child. Such a disgrace. She looked into Castiel's eyes, and knew that he wouldn't ever see the truth as long as he was with the Winchesters.

"I wish it didn't come to this." He pulled out his blade and rose it above his head ready for the kill. He was very tempted to give her to the Winchesters especially Ryder, but he felt that something like this needed to be dealt with within the family.

Anna chuckled. "Yes, you do. Good luck witch that abomination they call a child." She spat blood at him.

Castiel frowned. She was wrong. It was never easy to kill the ones you call family. It didn't matter what she did, it was still hard for him to do this. Castiel drove the blade through her heart quickly not wanting to prolong the pain she would feel.

Anna screamed and in a flash of light her body fell limped to the ground. Castiel's frown deepened when he saw the scorched wings on the ground. Another angel died by his very own hands all because he went soft for the Winchesters.

* * *

Rain walked around Bobby's house and watched as everyone went about their business. She felt so angry that it came to this. She didn't want it to, but she had no choice. Rain just wanted it to be over, but she couldn't do it. She kept herself hidden from the others so she wouldn't be bothered. She could tell Ryder was getting suspicious, but she couldn't worry about that right now.

As the day came to an end, she noticed that something was up with Sam. She could smell it on him. Something was going to happen, and whatever it was it wasn't going to be good... for anyone. The longer she was with them, the more angry she got. She had been trying to control it ever since she came to them, but the more time that passed the more it was getting hard to get it under control.

She was told that it wouldn't be able to last forever, but she had to hold onto whatever hope she had when she came. It was the only thing that kept her from giving in. She hated that she lied, but if she were to tell the truth, none of them would even listen to her. She convinced herself that this was the only way. Maybe when this is all over, she could be forgiven.

* * *

Sam went on the hunts with his brother and Jenna, and everything was going great as much as it could be for them. But he couldn't keep lying to himself. He needed it... no matter how much he tried to get his mind on other things. He was so angry with himself. He thought about how far Jenna had come from the unspoken girl he met a year ago. Now she was on the verge of being a great hunter. She listened and she was a quick learner.

Dammit! He couldn't keep going on like this. He needed it so bad. Sam had to have it, but he couldn't give into it. He promised his wife and family that he wouldn't do it. He sat up in bed, and watched as Ryder slept and felt incredibly terrible. He promised her, and here he was thinking about it. He couldn't deny that it's been on his mind since he first made the promise.

Coming to Bobby's house a week ago, he had given it some thought. It wouldn't hurt if he just did one more time. It's only once, and after that he'll stop. It can't be that hard, right? He shook his head, no! He wouldn't give into it no matter how much he craved it.

Sam slipped out of the bed looking away from his wife. He couldn't look at her, because if he did then he would feel all the more shitty with what he was going to do. Sam got dressed and grabbed his things. He carefully kissed Lily, and snuck out of the house. Looking back at the house, the voice that kept telling him that it was a bad idea and to go back was silenced. Turning his back on everyone in the house, he flipped open his phone and hit speed dial.

"Ruby."

* * *

Rain sat on the couch in the library listening to the quiet. It was interrupted when she saw Sam coming down the stairs. Normally she wouldn't give it a second thought, but the way he was carrying himself shouted, _'Suspicious.'_ She stood up not before making sure she kept herself hidden and followed.

 _What is he doing?_ she thought. She was about to go back in the house thinking he just needed some air, when he heard, "Ruby."

Hearing that one simple name brought her so much anger. Ever since she became apart of Ryder, she knew all her memories; including the ones about the show from her world. She knew what Ruby did to Sam, and what it did to his and Dean's relationship. Regardless of her circumstances, she respected Ryder.

As Sam left the yard, Rain ran up the stairs to Ryder's room. _**"Ryder!"**_ She shook her shoulders.

Ryder groaned, "What?"

_**"Wake up!"** _

Ryder was never happy to be woken up, especially in the middle of the night. "Why?''

_**"It's Sam.''** _

It wasn't what Rain said that alarmed her, it was _way_ she said it. Ryder sat up, "What's wrong?"

 _ **"Ruby,"**_ Rain said.

That was all she needed to hear. She quickly got dressed, and ran to Dean and Jenna's room. Getting them up and telling them what happened was easy. Finding him was going to be the hard part. Ryder had decided to leave Lilith with Bobby, which he wasn't that upset about. After all the man had grown fond of her... once he got over the shock of who she really was.

Dean had tracked Sam's phone which led them to a motel; Ryder and Jenna had noticed was the same one from the show. Shit! This was it. Hopefully they could change the course of this situation.

* * *

Now that Ryder didn't have to worry about Lilith being with them, she didn't have to worry about anything holding her back. She was pissed! Not because of the fact that Sam left her to go to Ruby... no... she got over that the minute Rain said it. No, what pissed her off was the fact that he was craving blood and he kept it from her. They were supposed to be in this together, and to tell each other everything that was bothering them.

Dean could practically feel the anger rolling off Ryder and right now he felt sorry for his brother.

None of them bothered to knock on the door. Dean just kicked it in and stormed in gun ready. Now that Jenna had been hunting with Dean and Sam, she could hold her own in a fight. She wasn't up to Ryder's level, but she could still kick ass.

Sam and Ruby jumped off the bed and saw in horror as the very same people they weren't expecting came in. Sam although was sad to be caught by his wife, was more worried about the look Dean was giving him.

Ryder didn't storm in the room, she left that to Dean and Jenna. She looked at Rain, and shook her head when she was offered her her help. Ryder wanted to do this on her own. She stood behind Dean and Jenna and listened as Sam tried to talk his way out of it. She shook her head, _sorry Sam, not this time._

"Ryder."

Ryder took a deep breath trying to calm her rising anger. "I don't want to hear it Sam."

Dean and Sam eventually got into the very same conversation they had when Sam chose to go with Ruby. Things were different now. Ryder wasn't going to risk Sam choosing Ruby over Dean... over her. The brothers fought each other in the exact same way, which Jenna was trying to stop, but Ryder knew it had to happen.

Ryder took off her jacket, and as soon as she did Jenna knew what was going to come.  The look on Ryder's face clearly said,  _Stay out of it._

Ryder walked up to Ruby who was watching in pride of the fight between Sam and Dean; which disgusted the girls. Ruby wasn't paying attention to either girl, but when she felt someone behind her she stiffened.

"I told you to stay away from Sam. You didn't listen."

Ruby turned away from the fight and looked as Ryder appeared bigger and badder.

"I told you that I would kill you, and the thing is," Ryder took her stance, "I always keep my word."

Ryder and Ruby took their stances each glaring at the other. One fighting for what was hers, while the other was fighting to move up in the ranks.

Ryder looked at Sam and Dean fight in sadness, and that small distraction was all it took for Ruby to throw in a quick punch knocking Ryder backwards. Ryder wiped the blood away and smirked. Ruby went in for another punch, but Ryder side stepped it and threw her knee in Ruby's stomach. Ruby hunched over in pain. Ryder didn't give her a chance to recover, and kicked her in the face knocking her to the ground.

Ruby quickly got to her feet, but wasn't quick enough because Ryder punched her again. Ruby went to grab at her face, but Ryder pushed her hands away and kicked her in the chest causing her to fall on her back. Punch after punch and kick after kick, the women tore at each other.

Ryder could see the fight between Dean and Sam was coming to an end with Dean losing. Ryder looked at Ruby wiping the blood away from her nose.

All Jenna could do was stand there in horror and awe as her once best friend fought the very same demon Ryder had been wanting to kill six years ago. She could see the moments where Ruby got the upper hand, but she knew the way Ryder fought. Ruby only thought she was getting the upper hand. She had thought about helping Ryder, but she knew that Ryder would have to do this on her own. There was no way Ryder was going to allow anyone help her or get in the way. It wasn't because she wanted to prove that she could win the fight, but because of Sam. She loved Sam for ten years, and although there wasn't anything she could do for the Sam from their old universe, she could at least do this for her husband to prevent him from having to go through what he would've gone through.

Ryder had thrown the final blow knocking Ruby to the ground. She was getting tired of the fight, so not wanting Ruby to recover she got on top of her. "I gave you the opportunity to save yourself even though I hate you with a passion." Ryder spat the blood from her mouth in Ruby's face. "You didn't listen. You thought you were so fucking smart, but that was your downfall.''

"What are you going to do?" Ruby tried to think of a way to get out of this. "You can't kill me."

Ryder smirked, and pulled out a long silver blade. "You want to bet?" Ryder could see that she didn't know what it was which made her all the more happy. "This is an Angel Blade; which can KILL. ANY. DEMON."

Ruby's eyes widen.

_(FLASHBACK)_

_"...All she wants to do is to be able to talk to the man she loves."_

_"Fine. What's the other thing you need?"_

_Ryder smirked._ "I need an Angel Blade."

Castiel looked at her confused. "Why would you want that?''

Ryder sighed. "There's a demon named Ruby that is manipulating Sam, and I want her dead but I'm the one that's going to kill her. I, along with thousands of other fans where I came from, watched what she did to him, but I'm not going to allow her to do it again... not if I can stop it."

Castiel saw the anger and fury in her eyes as she spoke. In the end, he nodded. "When do you need it?"

"I'll call you."

_(End)_

_(Flash)_

_Ryder didn't storm in the room, she left that to Dean and Jenna..._ Before she went in the room, she prayed to Castiel. She waited only seconds before she heard the wings behind her. She turned around and saw him holding an Angel Blade in his hands. He handed it to her, and disappeared. She put the blade in her waistband and walked in. ... _listened as Sam tried to talk his way out of it..._

_(END FLASHBACK)_

* * *

"This is for every fan that watched as you manipulated Sam." Ryder raised the blade. "But more importantly this is for what you were trying to do to MY HUSBAND!" Ryder drove the blade through Ruby's chest. All the women in the room saw the orange light flicker as the demon died, but that didn't stop Ryder from continuing to stab Ruby.

Ryder stabbed her again. She thought about the first moment that Ruby entered into Sam and Dean's lives. She stabbed her once more. She thought about the fight between Dean and Ruby. Again. She thought about the times Ruby continued to lie about being able to break Dean's deal. Again. She thought about the times when she convinced Sam to drink her blood. Again. She thought about when Ruby had convinced Sam to kill Lilith. Again. She thought about the damage one whore of a demon caused between the two men she loved.

 _ **"Ryder, stop it!"**_ Rain yelled.

Ryder did stop as she was going in for another hit. She looked up and saw the horror on both Jenna's and Rain's faces. She ignored them and turned her attention to Sam and Dean. She noticed that the fight had quickly stopped when Sam stopped hitting Dean. Ryder got off of Ruby and saw confusion in his eyes. _What the hell?_

"Sam?"

"What the hell was that?" Sam said looking around the room. He quickly looked down at Dean who was bleeding and badly beaten. He looked at his hands and his eyes widen in horror. "Did I do this?" He reached down to Dean, and even though no one else noticed, Sam did. Sam saw that as he reached down to help Dean, his brother flinched a little. "I'm so sorry."

Before anyone could speak, Castiel appeared in the room. He saw that both Dean and Sam were injured, and could tell that it was by the other. He touched them both and they were instantly healed. He was saddened that he could only heal their physical injuries, and not the emotional ones. Those they would have to do on their own. Without thinking he walked up to Rain.

"Are you okay?"

Sam and Dean shared a look that said they would talk about it later.

"Cas, who are you talking to?" asked Dean.

Ryder clutched the blade tighter realizing what she was seeing. She tried to calm herself down. "Castiel?"

Rain glared at Castiel. This wasn't how she wanted this to go, in fact she didn't want this to happen at all. She had thought about telling them all, but realizing that there was no point, she decided against it.

"Have you been able to see her the entire time?" asked Ryder.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you see the word 'flash' it just means it's going from one flashback to the next.

"Answer me!" Ryder yelled when Castiel stayed quiet.

Sam went next to her holding her back. He knew how she was when she got mad.

"Yes." Castiel knew there was no point in lying now. He had already messed it all up; he could only face the consequences.

"How long?" asked Jenna. She stood next to Dean feeling so horrible that she couldn't do anything for him. This was something he was going to have to work out with Sam on his own. The only thing she could do is be there for him.

_**(Flashback)** _

_Ryder made sure Lilith wouldn't fall off the bed if she were to roll over. She crept out of the room, and prayed for Castiel. Minutes went by and she was about to give up and go back into the room, when she heard wings behind her._

Castiel saw that Rain had made it to Ryder safely. He just hoped that their plan would work. He didn't want to see her get hurt if this went bad. Castiel knew that Ryder wasn't ready to see Rain, so she just hung back behind Ryder. They shared a look, which told him she was alright.

_"What do you want Ryder?" Castiel asked._

_**(End)** _

_**(Flash)** _

_Sam opened up the door to reveal not only the girls, but two men. He freaked out and pulled out his gun pointing them at the men. "Who are you?"_

_Dean rushed in after hearing his brother yell. Once he saw Castiel, he told his brother who he was. Sam was smiling that he was in the company of angels. He was always a believer, but to be in the same room as an angel was amazing._

Castiel watched as Rain stood in the far corner watching the confrontation between them all. Ever since he agreed to help Rain, he always feared that his brothers and sisters would be able to see passed the illusion he gave her. It took a lot out of him when he did it, but he never regretted his choice.

_Ryder could see the way Sam looked when he saw the angels..._

_**(End)** _

_**(Flash)** _

_Jenna stood up holding Lilith. Castiel seemed to stiffen as she did that. Jenna didn't notice, but Ryder did. She turned to face him, and saw him glaring at Jenna. Please God, don't let him notice, Ryder prayed._

Castiel stiffened as soon as he came into the room. He could feel that Rain was slowly getting taken over. He ignored the demonic child, Joshua told him what God's plans were for the child. Who was he to say otherwise?

He wished that he could tell Ryder and the others; maybe they could help her. He looked at Rain in the background. He told her with his eyes that they should tell them, but Rain shook her head. He sighed. Now wasn't the time.

_"Ryder and I are marrying Sam and Dean tomorrow, and I was wondering if you would like to come?" Jenna really wanted him to come..._

_**(End)** _

_**(Flash)** _

_Dean moves to stand in front of Anna, "Hold on. I know she was tapping into your angel radio, but that's not enough to kill her."_

Castiel stays silent through it all, instead he looks around the room as if he's trying to locate something. He felt it again. That disturbance in the room. He knew it was here, but he couldn't locate it. He turned his attention to Rain thinking that it was her, but she looked the same. Rain stared at him, and mouthed, "I'm okay." He nodded not quite believing her.

_"Don't worry, I'll be gentle."_

_**(End)** _

_**(Flash)** _

_Moving on to a new motel, a flutter of wings were heard by the door. They all turned their attention to their visitor. Or in this case visitors. Castiel and Uriel. By the look on their faces, whatever they were going to say wouldn't be good._

_"What do you want?" asked Dean very tired._

Castiel saw that Rain wasn't getting any better, and his suspicions were only confirmed when he saw her eyes kept flickering. He had to do something, and he had to do it soon. Ryder and the others needed to know.

_"We have captured Alastair." answered Castiel..._

_**(End)** _

_**(Flash)** _

_"But? But what?" asked Sam._

_"It seems Ryder just went to sleep and didn't wake up."_

Castiel hoped that Ryder would accept her. He didn't want to send her in there and have her go through all those bad experiences, but he felt that it was the only way. She needed to accept her otherwise all of this was for nothing. Ryder was going to need her just as much as Rain needed Ryder.

_**(End)** _

_**(Flash)** _

_Castiel tilt his head in confusion. "Why do you wish to know that?"_ _He looked around the house._ Why would she need to know that? He thought Rain told her. He looked at Rain in confusion, but she looked away. What was she doing? _"Where are the others?"_

_Ryder ignored that. "Do you know who this is?" She asked._

_**(End)** _

_**(Flash)** _

_That night, Rain looked at the others sleep. Castiel had appeared, and stood next to Rain. "Are you going to tell them?"_

_Rain shook her head._ **_"No. It's best they don't know. Ryder's going to complete the trials, so what's the point?"_ **

Castiel watched as Rain vanished into Ryder's body. He respected her choice, but that didn't mean he had to like it. What was the point in helping her if she was just going to do this?

_**(End Flashback)** _

* * *

Ryder couldn't believe this. This whole time, from the moment she met Castiel, he knew she was there. She dropped the angel blade afraid of what she was going to do with it.

"Explain. Now," she said to Rain.

Sam could feel her body shaking, and desperately tried to calm her down.

Before Rain would say anything, she looked at Castiel. He understood right away what she wanted. He took down the illusion that he put up almost a year ago. It was the same ones that the angels would put on themselves.

Everyone other than Ryder and Castiel gasped. Rain sighed.

Dean flipped out at what he saw. Out of nowhere, Rain appeared next to Castiel. But that wasn't the part that freaked him out, it was the fact that Rain looked exactly like Ryder. If he didn't know any better, he would've thought they were twins.

Sam on the other hand was intrigued. Yeah they looked the same, but he could just feel which was Ryder. Jenna was just shocked beyond belief.

 _ **"Chuck told you that I was your anger in human form, right?"**_ Rain never took her eyes off Ryder. This needed to be said no matter how hard it was going to be. Ryder nodded. _ **"Yes, you do have anger issues beyond the normal person, but what he told you wasn't entirely true. In any other universe it would be true, but not in this case."**_

Ryder felt betrayed. She really liked Chuck from the show, and to know that he lied to her about something this important really hurt her. She couldn't deny that she was becoming very fond of Rain, and to know that what she had believed to be true wasn't really stung.

"What are you talking about?" asked Sam standing next to Ryder. He could feel the betrayal and loneliness around her, and he wanted to make that go away.

 **_"My name is Rain and I'm a demon."_** She breathed out.

* * *

Regardless if they all wanted Ryder to be possessed by a demon, it didn't make it easier when they realize that she was actually possessed by a demon. Dean pulled out Ruby's knife and walked up to her. He was stopped when Castiel stepped in front of her. He looked at the angel feeling betrayal. Castiel felt sad that his friend felt betrayed but sadly he couldn't focus on that. There were more important things to worry about.

 ** _"You guys already know that alternate universes are real, but do any of you know the theories behind them?"_** She felt this was the only way to make them understand.

Sam learned about those in school, "Yeah. Any action that has more than one possible result produces a split in the universe. Therefore there are an infinite number of universe and number of copies of each person."

Rain smiled, _**"Yes."**_ _Yup, Sam really is a nerd,_ she thought.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?" asked Dean. That sounded interesting and all, but what the hell did it have to do with their situation?

 ** _"The copies of each person would look the same in everything physical, but they won't have the same personalities, because they have different experiences."_** Rain explained. She didn't want to come out and say it; she wanted them to figure it out for themselves.

Ryder was trying to wrap her mind around the situation, but her head was hurting and so was her body. Castiel could see that everyone was tired and transported them back to Bobby's house. Bobby was still asleep so they all sat in the library. Castiel still stood next to Rain protectively.

* * *

After some time with no talking, Jenna spoke up. "Are you saying that you're Ryder from this universe?"

Rain sighed. _**"Yes."**_

"What the hell?" mumbled Sam.

"How are you a demon?"

"How are you her?"

Question after question was spoken not letting Rain get a word in. Castiel told them to be quiet after so many questions were thrown at her.

 _ **"Maybe it would be better to start from the beginning."** _ She took a deep breath. **_"Before I went to Hell, I was a hunter."_ ** No one spoke. **_"I had a partner."_ ** She smiled sadly. _**"She was my best friend and my girlfriend. Her name was Jennifer. While I was in Hell being tortured into a demon, I heard from the upper level demons that God was bringing a Rain Ryder from another universe to this one.''**_

"Wait," interrupted Dean. "Why would the demons know what God was doing?"

Before Rain could tell them she didn't know, Castiel spoke up, "God wanted them to know so they could spread it around so it could eventually get to Rain." They all looked at him stunned. "They're demons. It's not like they would believe it. He just needed it to be spread."

 _ **"I escaped Hell thinking that you could help me."**_ Rain wasn't ready to ask her yet or at all. ** _"I wasn't there long enough to be a full demon, so I still have some of my humanity left."_**

"Which is why you cared so much for Lilith when she was taken," assumed Sam. Why else would she have cared? No full demon would care about the life a child. Rain nodded.

"Why did you go to Hell?" asked Jenna.

This part of the story was hard because of why. _**"Me and Jennifer were hunting a werewolf, and I was distracted by the victim that we were saving. The werewolf was going to attack me, but Jennifer got in the way and was bitten. After killing the werewolf, we had a new problem. Neither of us wanted it, so I had to kill her."** _ Rain let a few tears escape. ** _"I know Ryder and Jenna know this, but just in case you don't,''_ ** she said looking at the brothers, **_"every monster that is_** _**killed doesn't go to Heaven or Hell. They go to Purgatory."** _ She took a moment to collect herself. ** _"I made a deal for her to go to Heaven, and I went to Hell."_**

"Why not just bring her back to life?" asked Dean thinking about the deal he made for Sam. He didn't think he could've continued if Sam wasn't brought back to him.

Rain shook her head. _**"If I did that, we would just continue hunting and get killed another way. This way, she's in Heaven. Besides, I would've died anyway whether or not I made the deal."**_ At their confused looks Rain added, ** _"We're soul mates. We wouldn't be able to live without each other. It was a miracle, I lasted as long as I did."_**

Rain turned her attention to Ryder who had been quiet this whole time throughout her story.

Ryder could feel her eyes on her. She wanted Ryder to say something, but she needed a moment to gather her thoughts. After awhile, "What do you need from me?"

And that was the question Rain had both been dreading and hoping for. What would she say when she asked? _Should_ she ask? After all, Ryder hasn't told brothers the third trial or what would happen _afterward._

So the question is, should she ask or keep quiet?

Rain took a deep breath...


	22. Chapter 22

Rain took a deep breath and her body began to shake. Castiel took her hand and squeezed it. She may be a demon, but she still had some of her humanity in her; that was good enough for him to want to save her.

_**"Before I met you, I got word that you had knowledge of a way to cure demons."** _

"What?" said Dean and Sam together.

Ryder ignored them. "Who told you that?"

Rain shrugged her shoulders. _ **"No one told me, it was just something that I heard. It gave me some hope and that's what I needed."**_

"What do you want?" Ryder said again. She had a small feeling she knew what she was asking, but she didn't want her to say it. She planned for someone else.

_**"I wanted... Lilith's place."** _

Ryder and Jenna gasped.

Before anyone could say anything, Castiel touched both Rain and Ryder and transported them to an empty field. Castiel left the girls alone so they could talk.

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ryder asked after some time had passed. She paused. "What do you mean you _wanted_ her place? You don't anymore?"

 _ **"What's the point?"**_ Rain shrugged. _**"You're going to choose Lilith anyway. It's only natural, and I can't**_ _ **complain. I mean, how could I? You let me possess you, something no other demon really cares about."**_

Ryder looked at her differently than when she found out what Rain really was. Ryder had been thinking about curing Lilith ever since she found out who she was and what she was. Ryder loved Lilith, and thought that it would be nice for her to be a human once again. As she looked at Rain she couldn't help but reconsider, but she had to know something first.

"Why?" Rain looked at her confused. "Why become human?"

Rain looked up to the sky as if searching for the answer. _ **"If by some chance you were to help me, I don't plan on staying alive."**_

Rain never looked away from the sky. Ryder followed her gaze and although she saw nothing but the morning sky, she could tell Rain was looking at something different.

 _ **"I want to be human so I could die and go to Heaven."**_ Ryder looked at her.

"You want to see Jennifer," stated Ryder.

Rain nodded. _**"She was the only thing that I could think about in Hell. I want to see her again."**_

"Is Jennifer Jenna's-"

Rain chuckled and nodded. _**"Yes, I found that out as soon as I saw her. It was why I was so angry with her at the warehouse. Jennifer would never do something like that**_." Rain paused as if thinking of something. _ **"You want to know the worst part of being sent to Hell? For me it wasn't the torture, it was before that. I didn't get to die from the Hellhounds. They didn't even show up, not until after I died. The worse part of it all, was that I died of a broken heart. That was much more painful."**_  Rain looked at her with tears in her eyes. _**"I want to see her so bad, but I understand that you need to cure your daughter."**_

Ryder felt so sorry for her. "Why can't one of the others cure you?"

Rain shook her head, _ **"Don't you remember? The trial will wipe all demons off the face of the earth, including me. I was only able to stay with you because we're the same person, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a demon."**_

Ryder didn't respond to that just simply called out for Castiel. If that was true, she needed to know something before she made her choice. She informed Castiel her concerns, and he assured her that it wouldn't happen the way she feared.

"Who are you going to cure?" He asked.

Ryder ignored him, and looked back to the sky as if she could see Jennifer too. "I would give anything to be with Sam again if he were taken from me. I don't think I could ever go on without him. I love him with all my heart and soul, so if I were in your place, all I would think about is being with him again. All you want to do is be with the one you love, how could I say no to that?"

Rain's head jerked up. No, she couldn't be saying what she thought she was saying. _**"What are you saying?"**_

Ryder took a deep breath, and looked her straight in the eye. "Let's get you cured."

* * *

Castiel took the girls back to Bobby's, and Ryder explained to them what she was going to do minus the fact that she was going to die once she was done.

Almost immediately the argument broke out. None of them wanted her to do it. Not that they didn't want to help Rain, but because they felt that something was off with the whole thing and that she was leaving out so much... something that was dangerous. While the girls were gone, they talked it out and decided that it wasn't worth it. Ruby's gone, and Lilith wasn't going to be killed anytime soon, so there was no point.

Ryder lost the argument, and Rain was put back under the illusion because Castiel felt that she needed to be alone; which she was grateful for.

"Please don't do it,'' begged Jenna. She didn't want to lose her friend.

Ryder sighed in defeat, "I promise. I won't finish the trials."

Ryder knew that even if she didn't finish them with her being so close to the end, she was going to end up like Sam did. She was going to die. She was just hoping that she would die doing something good. Looking at her family, she realized that wasn't going to happen.

* * *

About a week later, everyone left Bobby's house. The brothers found a hunt that Jenna was really eager to go on, but it would be another day until they would get there, so they stopped in a motel for the night.

Ryder asked the group to go on without her to the diner for dinner. She had convinced them that she wasn't feeling good which was true, but wasn't the reason she had stayed behind. Ryder wanted some alone time with Sam, but was afraid they would get suspicious so she held back.

She grabbed her things, and took out a piece of paper and wrote everything she needed to say to them. Writing her letter to them felt like it was the end, which in some way it was. This was the end of their time together; she had just hoped that she had been able to make the most out of it.

As she wrote her goodbye, she cried. Cried for the fact that she wouldn't see Sam or Dean again. She cried for not being able to see her daughter grow up. She cried for not being able to be there when her daughter would be human. She cried for not being a better friend to Jenna. She cried for not being able to grow old with Sam. She cried for the fact that this would hurt her family when they found her body. When she was done, she left the note on her bed along with a small wooden box. She heard footsteps behind her, but wasn't alarmed because she knew who was there.

Rain saw what she was doing to Ryder, but for once in her life she wanted to be selfish. All she wanted was to be able to see Jennifer again, but she would always be grateful to Ryder.

 _ **"Let's go."**_ She said softly.

Ryder wiped away her tears, grabbed her things and followed Rain out of the room. She found the location of the church Sam used to cure Crowley.

* * *

Arriving at the church, Ryder spray painted the Devil's Trap in the middle. She changed the course of the show, but she was still a fan. She would at least keep to some of the things from the episode. At this rate, she would be closer to Sam in some way.

Neither woman said anything, because what was there to say? Both women were going to die tonight, so what were they supposed to say? Nothing they could say would change the course of this night. Ryder was going to finish the trial, cure Rain and then die. Rain was going to be cured, kill herself and then go to Heaven. So what words were there?

Rain got in the Trap, and waited for Ryder to take the next step. Ryder wasn't Catholic, so she felt no need to go to the confessional. If anything she was a Christian, so she wanted to announce her sins in the middle of the church loud and clear to God... wherever He may be. She got down on her knees and bowed her head.

"Dear God, I ask you to forgive me for my sins. Forgive me for killing the girl who wanted revenge for her sister. Forgive me for being a terrible daughter for my parents. Forgive me for being weak against those who hurt me when I was in school. Forgive me for loving Sam. I can't help but regret not making him happy this whole year." She began to cry, but she continued. "Forgive me for being selfish and marrying him when I knew that this was going to happen. Forgive me for not being able to help Lilith. I guess I wasn't the best choice to help her redeem herself."

Rain stood there and listened as Ryder confessed her sins, but the one that got her was,  _"Forgive me for thinking that I could make Sam and Dean happy."_

Once she was done, she stood up, took some of her blood and injected it into Rain's neck. One down, seven to go.

* * *

Jenna went to unlock the door while the brothers carried in the food. "Ryder?'' she called out. "Food's here." Silence. She frowned. "Ryder?"

"What's wrong?" asked Dean walking in.

"Mommy? Daddy bought me a doll." Lilith called out waving a Barbie. Nothing.

Sam closed the door once everyone was in. He too called out to Ryder, but there was no response.

Jenna looked around the room, and when she came upon the bed she saw the letter. She read it over and her heart skipped a beat. No! She shook her willing the tears not to come. She promised not to do it.

"Jenna?" said Sam.

Sam could see her read the letter that he assumed Ryder left. He grabbed the note from her, and read it over with Dean reading over his shoulder.

"What is this?" Sam asked motioning the paper.

Jenna tried to get herself under control. She knew that if Ryder did indeed go through with the trial, then Sam and Dean deserved to know what was happening.

"Ryder is going to do the third trial."

Sam huffed. "Yeah, I got that, but why does this sound like a goodbye letter?"

Because that's exactly what it was, and they all knew that. Ryder was saying goodbye. They just didn't know why.

"If Ryder completes the third trial," Jenna took a deep breath, "she's going to die."

Both Sam and Dean's jaw dropped. Lilith was too busy eating and playing with her doll to have heard what Jenna said about her mother.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It was always God's plan. The ultimate sacrifice." She wiped the few tears that fell down her face.

Sam went to put on his jacket, and Dean followed suit. "We have to go tell her. She needs to know what she's doing." Sam put on his jacket and then did the same for Lilith. "Castiel!" He called out.

"Yes?"

"Take us to Ryder. She needs to know what she's doing."

Castiel looked at him confused. He could see in their eyes that the present situation was serious.

Jenna said, "It doesn't matter."

"What?!" Sam yelled at her. "Of course it matters. We need to stop her."

Jenna shook her head. "It doesn't matter, because Ryder already knows."

Dean and Sam looked at her like she was crazy.

"What do you mean she already knows?" asked Dean.

"The trials happen in season eight, and an angel tells you that if the trials were to be finished then the person who does them would die."

Sam looked both scared and angry, not a good combination. He looked at Dean, "Take us."

* * *

Ryder stood up already feeling weak. She was glad this was only season four, because she was in no fit state to fight a knight of Hell. Hopefully when this was all over, the brothers would never have to. She took out her blood with the syringe, and walked up to Rain. They both agreed that they don't speak, because each woman had things on their mind.

Rain tilt her head to the side, and cringed when the needle pierced her skin. She could feel the blood enter her blood stream, and moving throughout her body. She looked at Ryder sit back down at the altar looking extremely weak and tired. Part of her wanted her to stop, but because she now knew everything about her including the show she knew if Ryder didn't finish this, she was going to die. At least this way, she would die doing something good.

* * *

As Dean drove everyone to the church, he couldn't help but feel responsible. If he didn't allow the girls to come with them in the first place then he wouldn't be driving to stop Ryder from killing herself. He understood that she wanted to lock up Hell forever, but not at the expense of dying. He was not going to allow her to become God's 'ultimate sacrifice.'

Dean could see Sam hurting, and it was the kind of hurt that he wouldn't be able to help him with. Dean knew full well that only Ryder could help him. He wasn't going to allow his brother lose someone that he loved more his own life. Thinking of that, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. Before the women came into their lives, it was always the two of them against the world. He immediately thought of Ryder talking about their bond, and felt better.

Thinking of the task at hand, Dean was pissed at Ryder. How dare she do all this knowing the outcome! She knew she was going to die if she completed these trials, and she still went along and married his brother! How selfish could she be? She is supposed to grow old with Sam; not die trying to save the world!

* * *

Ryder checked her watch, and got the syringe getting more blood out. She stumbled walking to Rain, and injected her with her blood. She sat back down at the altar and bowed her head. Regardless of why she was doing it, she couldn't help but feel very sad that this was her last day alive, and her family wasn't here to be with her. A few tears fell down her face, but she quickly wiped them away. Three down, five to go.

* * *

Jenna sat there in the backseat with Lilith next to her. She may have agreed to this in the beginning, but now she wished that Ryder never suggested this. She could see Dean and Sam hurting, and felt angry that Ryder was the cause. She thought back to the moment Ryder brought up the trials, and couldn't help but hate how weak she was. Now that she was a hunter, she hated how emotional she was.

Jenna smiled sadly when she remembered the day she met Ryder.

_(Flashback)_

Jenna walked in the hotel, and was amazed at the large crowd. She smiled when she noticed that there were more women than men. She walked around the tables buying a few things. Jenna was putting her purchases in her purse, when she bumped into someone.

"Oh, sorry." The woman said.

Jenna looked up and couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. Long black hair, sparkling green eyes. Jenna looked down, and went to walk away, but was stopped.

"Hey, aren't you going to apologize too?" She giggled. "I mean, after all, you did bump into me first."

Jenna assumed that the woman didn't know sign language, so she smiled apologetically, and quickly walked away.

When it came time for everyone to be seated in the theater, Jenna quickly found her seat. She watched as everyone began to find their seats, when she heard,

"It's you again."

Jenna looked up and saw that it was the same woman she bumped into. She waved hi, and turned to look at something else. _What are the odds that I would be sitting next to her?_

"What's your name?"

Jenna ignored her.

The woman was quiet for a few moments, and for a second Jenna thought that she wouldn't speak to her again, until, _**"My name's Ryder."**_

Jenna's eyes widened when she saw the woman sign. " _ **Jenna,"**_ she signed back. _**"How did you know?"**_

Ryder shrugged her shoulders, _**"You weren't talking, so I took a shot in the dark."**_

_(End flashback)_

* * *

Checking her watch once again, Ryder injected Rain with her blood. She tripped going back to her seat. Four down four to go.

* * *

Sam sat there angry at several things. The first thing was the car. How much slower could this car go?! The next was Castiel. How dare that angel not take them?! The last was his wife. How could she go and marry him when she knew this was going to happen? He fought back the tears that wanted to be released. He wasn't prepared to lose another person in life. It was bad enough when he lost Jessica, Madison, and Dean. He wasn't ready to lose her. He loved her, and now she was going die in a matter of hours.

* * *

Ryder injected for the fifth time. Five down, three to go.

* * *

Castiel sat in the car with the Winchesters out of sight. He watched as everyone looked miserable, angry, hurt, and confused. He didn't understand why they would feel this way. Ryder was doing something for the greater good. She was helping them, and stopping a lot of things that would go bad. He didn't want to take them to her, because no matter what they did, Ryder will die. At least this way something good could come out of it.

* * *

Ryder injected her once again. And once again feeling all the more lonely.

* * *

Rain sat there and watched for the passed six hours, Ryder slowly killing herself. The human part of her felt regret for ever asking her, but the demon part of her was perfectly fine with being selfish.

As the hours went on, she could see Ryder withering away. Whether or not she was there with her, Ryder was lonely, and there wasn't anything Rain could do to ease that loneliness. All she could do was sit there, and watch as the woman kill herself to save a world that didn't know she existed, a community of hunters who didn't care about her either way, two brothers who were broken in more ways than one, a demon child who once killed so many people, and a traitor friend who would choose her husband over her best friend.

* * *

Ryder injected the seventh dose of her blood. As she was moving back to her spot at the altar, she stumbled and fell to the floor. She felt the darkness taking over her, and right now she welcomed it.

 _ **"Ryder?"**_ Rain called out. _**"Ryder, get up!"**_ Rain tried to go to her but was stopped by the Devil's Trap. _**"RYDER!"**_

* * *

Ryder felt so much better when she passed out. She had been wanting to for the last few hours. Ryder loved it when she first came here. She finally got to meet the two men that changed her life. She would never regret ever doing this. If given the choice, she would do it all again if it meant that Sam and Dean wouldn't have to go through what the Sam and Dean from the show went through.

Even though she didn't want them to be here, she didn't want to be alone. She didn't want to die alone, but because of her choices, she was going to. She could hear Rain calling for her, but she didn't want to get up.

 _Ryder, you need to get up. Now! Get up now!_ A voice screamed in her head. Her eyes shot open. She glanced at her watch. One more.

* * *

"Tell me about you and Jennifer." Ryder said weakly. "How did you two meet?"

Rain smiled tiredly. _**"She was one of the victims I had to save on a hunt. Simple salt and burn. As soon as I saw her, I fell in love. I explained what I do, and surprisingly she believed me."**_ She chuckled. _ **"She wanted to come with me, and even though it was dangerous, I let her. I told her the dangers and she said, 'Sounds like fun.'**_ " Rain laughed.

''You really miss her?''

_**"I really miss her. I just want to be with her again. Hopefully God would let me be with her."** _

Ryder looked at her watch. The eighth hour was finally here. She was going to do it. The brothers would be safe as any Winchester could be, and her daughter would be cured. Castiel had assured her that because of God's protection, when Ryder finished the trial Lilith wouldn't be sent to Hell. She would be the only demon on earth, and that was good enough.

Ryder cut her hand and spoke the spell. Rain looked just as terrible as she did, but smiled as best she could. _**"Thank you."**_

Ryder didn't say anything, for if she did she would break. She was a step away from saving the world from a horrible species. She was a step away from dying. A step away from Dean. From Lilith. From Jenna. From Castiel. From love... a step away from Sam.

As she put her hand closer to Rain's face, the church doors flew open. She looked up and saw Dean, Sam, Jenna and Lilith running in. She suddenly knew what Sam felt when Dean came to stop him.

"Ryder, stop!" yelled Sam. She did.

"What are you doing here?" She asked panicking. She didn't want them here. She didn't want them to have to see what was going to happen.

"Please, don't do this." said Sam putting Lilith on the ground. His eyes were puffy and red. Ryder felt regret, because she knew that it was because of her that Sam was hurting.

* * *

Slowly, Ryder's heart began to shatter at the sight of her family. Tears fell from her eyes, and she looked away. She knew this day was coming from the moment she first suggested the trials to Jenna. She knew that this was going to be hard; which was why she left the letter. She didn't want to see the looks on their faces when she told them the truth. She chuckled, leave it to Jenna to tell them herself.

"I have to," Ryder said in a shaky voice. 

"Ryder," Sam said stepping closer. "I love you, Dean loves you, Jenna loves you. Lily loves you." He shook his head. "You can't leave us." He swallowed the lump in his throat. "You can't leave me." A couple tears fell down his face. He couldn't lose the woman he loved more than life itself.

More tears fell. She had to do it soon if she didn't want to end up like Sam did from the show. They couldn't understand why she had to do this. It wasn't just because she wanted to help Rain. It was about the fact that she loved Sam and Dean. Episode after episode, and season after season she watched as Sam and Dean went through so much pain for each other and the world. If she knew how to stop that from happening, why wouldn't she?

"I don't want to leave you," her voice cracked. "But if I don't do this, it would be the most selfish thing I've ever done. If I leave Hell open, then all of this would've been for nothing." She shakes her head. "I've done so many terrible things in my life, things that I could never make right, but this I could do. I love you so much."

"Ryder, you don't have to do this." Dean said coming closer to his brother. "We'll find a way to cure her, but not this way." Dean couldn't lose her. She made his brother so happy. He hadn't been this happy since he met Jessica, and he knew that Sam made her happy. "You mean so much to us; we can't lose you."

* * *

Ryder cleared her face of any emotion. "I have every reason not to do this." She avoided eye contact with anyone; it made it easier. "You guys are enough not to continue, but what I saw in my universe is reason enough _to_ do it." She gestured to Rain who was sitting weakly on the floor. "Whether or not I do this, it won't end well for me." She looked at Jenna who was crying. "You can't save me." One single tear fell down her face.

Jenna saw the tear, and knew right at that moment that they lost her. Ryder made up her mind, and no matter what her love for the brothers would always come before her want to be with them. There wasn't an angel that would possess her only to heal her and then leave. They would want to use her body for other purposes. It's not like Ryder was well liked among the angels.

Maybe Castiel would heal her, but it would mean that she did all of this for nothing. In Ryder's mind, her purpose in this world is not as important as Sam and Dean's. The world could live on without Ryder and Jenna, but it cannot survive without Sam and Dean.

Ryder looked at Sam. "I love you.''

Sam saw what she was going to do, he moved quickly to stop her but a flash of light blinded them all. When the light faded, Sam looked around and fell to his knees at what he saw.

Ryder, his wife and best friend, laid at Rain's feet... dead. He crawled to Ryder's side and held her as he cried. She was gone. All of a sudden they all hear lightning and thunder and the ground began to shake, but Sam never let go. Dean, Jenna and Lilith ran to his side and they huddled up together.

When everything subsided, all that was heard was Sam crying. His crying echoed throughout the church. He sat there holding his wife rocking her back and forth. He didn't understand why it had to happen. Why did all of the women in his life have to die? Couldn't he ever have a woman to love and remain in his life? Couldn't he be happy?

"Is mommy sleeping?" asked Lilith softly.

Sam looked at his daughter, and kissed the top of her head and nodded. "Yes, mommy's sleeping." _Forever._


	23. Chapter 23

Sam carried Ryder's body out of the church not wanting anyone else to touch her. Jenna carried a crying Lilith out, while Dean yelled at Rain. He felt it was her fault that his sister was dead, but he knew it wasn't. He just needed someone to yell at.

Sam didn't cry when he held her body as they drove away. Even at this point he still didn't allow anyone to touch her, not even to let his brother help him get her out of the car.

_**Dear Sam Dean and Jenna,** _

Jenna felt incredibly depressed that she was about to burn her best friend's body. She thought it would be best to just bury her, but the brother's dismissed that. They told her, _'She went down like a hunter, so it's only right she get a hunter's funeral.'_ And after thinking about it, Jenna couldn't agree more. She felt so lucky to have known her.

_**First of all, I love you all. Jenna, I forgive you for what you did to Lilith. You are my best friend, and I don't think I could've made it this far without you by my side. I understand Rain and Jennifer's relationship. In this universe, they're soulmates. They love each other and would die without the other, and I guess in a way we are too. We were always meant to be friends, and seeing how much Rain loves Jennifer only proves that. I love you, so please take care of Dean; you know how he gets.** _

Dean and Jenna went to gather wood for the pyre, while Sam wrapped Ryder's body. Lilith hadn't spoken since her mother's death. She just sat there while the adults did their duties.

_**Lily baby, I will always love you. You were the best thing to ever happen to me, and I wouldn't change a thing. Given the option to give you up, I wouldn't. You were mine the moment God sent you to me, and you will always be mine. Please remember that I did this for you, Daddy, Uncle Dean and aunt Jenna. Daddy will take care of you, and tell you everyday that I love you. No matter how old you get, no matter how much you get angry with me for my actions, never forget that mommy loves you.** _

Dean gathered wood and felt numb. He felt regret that he wouldn't be able to get to know anything more about Ryder. He wouldn't be able to hunt with her, and see her finally fight like the bad ass Jenna made her out to be. He was going to miss her. Ever since he was sent to wake her,  he felt close to her and he loved her. 

He had to stop for a moment to collect himself. He took a deep breath not wanting to break down. He had to stay strong for his brother.

_**Dean, I love you so much. Watching you for the last ten years brought me so much happiness. I watched as you took your role as Sam's big brother very seriously, and I love you for that. Your relationship with him was the very reason that kept me going. Thank you for being there for him, and please continue to be there for him. Take care of everyone; they're going to need you.** _

He couldn't believe that he was wrapping her body. He didn't want this to happen, especially not after only being together for a year. He saw them with a future, and growing as old as any hunter could be.

As he wrapped the body, he felt like she took a piece of him with her. Sam carefully put his late wife's body on the pyre, and gently kissed her lips. Only Sam and Ryder would know what that kiss said and meant.

"I love you,'' he whispered.

_**Sam, I love you so much, and I've been in love with you for so long. When I decided to marry you, I swore to myself that I was going to make you happy, and I hope I did; if not I'm sorry. Before coming to this world, you got me through the rough days. I always had Supernatural to look forward to every week, and watching you and Dean save the world gave me hope for a happy future.**_

**_Sam, please don't dwell on what could've been, and be happy that we were together and were able to share our love. I don't want my death to stop you from ever having love in your life. Please find love and be happy._ **

They all watched as Ryder's body burned. No one spoke, not even to say their final goodbyes. For some reason, saying goodbye just didn't seem right. It seemed too final. After all, in their line of work, Death isn't always goodbye.

_**Now that I'm here, I got my happy future. You and Lilith and Dean and Jenna were always my future. Thank you for loving me, and take care of Lilith. She may not get to grow up with her mother, but please at least give her her father, aunt and uncle.** _

After some time, the group walked slowly back to the Impala. Sam carried his daughter, and Dean held Jenna's hand.

_**Death isn't always the end. For some... it's just the beginning. Always Keep Fighting until the very end!**_

_**Love always,** _

_**Ryder Winchester** _

* * *

"Ryder, open your eyes."

She recognized that voice. Ryder opened her eyes, and they quickly widened at the sight before her. "Chuck?!"

He smiled and motioned for her to sit in a chair that didn't seem to always be there.

"So, you are God?" she asked sitting down.

He shrugged not wanting to voice his answer.

"Why am I here?" She frowned. She looked around and saw that they were in an office type room. "Don't I get to go to my Heaven?"

Chuck smiled. "Of course you do. You've done a remarkable and brave thing back on earth."

Ryder didn't want to talk nor think about what she did. She didn't want to do it, but she knew she had to. To save the Winchesters, she would do it again in a heartbeat.

"Which is why I'm giving you a choice."

Ryder froze immediately, forgetting how to speak.

"You could go back to earth. With the Winchesters. With Jenna. With Lilith. Pain. Suffering. Heartache. Death. Or you could move on to your Heaven. You can finally rest."

Ryder scoffed and crossed her arms. "You make going back sound so unappealing."

Chuck chuckled and stood up; Ryder followed. He went through a door that definitely wasn't there before. "But before you make that choice, I want you to see something." He opened the door.

Ryder looked through the door and smiled big. Rain! She was with someone... a woman; who looked remarkably like Jenna. For a moment she thought it was Jenna, but the woman had a certain aura that Jenna didn't. This was Jennifer.

"Because of what you did, two soul mates are reunited. You went through so much to get where you are now. Abused, raped, bullied, and you still always made the right choices.

"You chose to change Sam and Dean's future because of your love for them. You chose to give up your life so a woman could be with the one she loved, the other half of her soul. How many people could say that?" he asked still looking at the couple.

Ryder watched as Rain and Jennifer sat on the couch cuddling. Ryder saw Rain smile sincerely for the first time. Watching them embrace each other in happiness, she instantly felt no regret for what she did for her.

"So, was I ever supposed to cure Lilith?"

Chuck didn't answer her. He held her hand, and pulled her away from Rain and Jennifer's Heaven.

She turned around, and realized they were now in a hallway. Chuck stopped in front of a door that had her name on it. "Enjoy your own Heaven." He stepped back waiting for Ryder to make a move.

Ryder looked at the door that stood in front of her. It had her name on it.

"You're right." She sighed. "I saved them all, and I'm tired." She grabbed the door knob. "Sam won't go to Hell, and lose his soul. Castiel won't release the Leviathans, and become the new God. Dean won't get the Mark of Cain, and become a demon. Kevin won't become a prophet and die by Gadreel. Bobby won't die anytime soon. Nothing I saw would happen. 

"It was the whole reason I wanted to do the trials; to save them from that. Now they're free to make a new future." She paused. "I want to be at peace and be happy. I don't want to go through anymore pain." She sighed and turned to look at Chuck. "I made my choice."

Chuck grinned. "Then say it."

"If I go back, there won't just be pain. I'll have love and my family. But it doesn't matter if all that I'd go back to is pain and loss and heartache. As long as I have Sam, I'll welcome it all with open arms." She looked at the door in front of her once more and then she let go of the knob. "I choose Sam."

Chuck laughed. "I know." With a flash of light Ryder knew no more.

* * *

Sam and Dean were currently looking for a new hunt. It had been several weeks since Ryder died, but none of them tried to bring her back. After Jenna told them about the future seasons for the show, they understood why Ryder did what she did. So they honored her death by letting her rest in peace.

Ryder had written down what the ritual was for curing demons, and so Sam cured Lilith. Now she was just a normal little girl. Whatever normal was.

Dean was grateful that Ryder had found this place. A bunker with so much information. None of them knew what the key was for that they found in the wooden box. Jenna had explained their legacy, and they felt awe. The last of the Men of Letters. In her letter, Ryder had explained that when they were all busy with the ghoul that posed itself as Adam, she went out to find one of the Men of Letters. She had explained who the Winchesters were, and what she was going to do. He didn't have the need for the bunker, so he gave her the key and the location since she forgot.

As the Winchesters were in the library finding a new hunt, they heard a knock on the door. Dean looked at the others in confusion. Before they could go open it, the door opened itself. They saw the last person they ever thought they would walk down the stairs. Everything seemed to slow down when they saw her.

The woman walked down the stairs and stopped in front of them. She giggled at their shocked faces. "Something wrong?"

Sam got up, and studied her face wanting to make sure that it really was her, and not them tripping out. After a short time, he knew that it really was her. No one other them knew the location of the bunker. He pulled her in an embrace, and cried the tears that wanted freedom for the past few weeks. She wrapped her arms around him and cried as well.

"How?"

Ryder told them about Chuck and everything that happened in Heaven.

Dean took his turn to hug her, and kissed her on the cheek. Now that Ryder was back with them, he felt like the piece that had been missing from their lives has finally been put into place. He felt so much happiness as he hugged her.

"So you chose us?" he asked when they broke apart.

She looked up at Dean and smiled. "I love you Dean, but no."

Sam and Dean looked at her in confusion. Ryder turned to look at Sam. She kissed him and put all of her love into that one kiss.

"I chose you."

Sam held her, and out of nowhere they heard gasps from the doorway. They broke apart, and Ryder could see a shocked Jenna and Lilith. She got to one knee and held her arms out for Lilith. Immediately Lilith ran into her mother's arms.

"Mommy!"

"I missed you baby,'' she whispered kissing her on the top of her head.

She got up, and stared at Jenna. They didn't hug at first, but after a moment they embraced one another. They held onto each other longer. Through one simple hug, Jenna and Ryder could hear the unspoken words between them.

_I love you._

They pulled apart from each other smiling.

"Okay, enough chick flick moments." Ryder winked at Dean who smiled. She pulled out a newspaper article from her pocket and slammed it on the table. They turned their attention to the article and on each one's faces a grin slowly formed.

**WOMAN DIES MYSTERIOUS DEATH**

"We got work to do."

_THE END_


End file.
